How to break a couple up?

Sleep with the guy.

@Rarebear uh thx, but i’m thirteen.

You just have to wait. Patience is a good virtue to cultivate. If you break them up, then half your friends will hate you. If they really aren’t good for each other, it’s inevitable.

@BarnacleBill Thanks, but my friends won’t hate me because they all want the same thing.

My advice, mind you own business.

What about what the couple wants

Why don’t you mind your own business?
This is a chance for both individuals in the relationship to grow from this experience and I highly doubt they want you or anybody else to determine the fate of their relationship.

Whatever you do, your friend is going to remember and be affected by it for the rest of her life.

Um thank you everyone, but I wasn’t asking for people to tell me to mind my own business, I want answers.

If you think I’m a terrible person, so be it. But I really asked this question because this is a question and answer website and I was expecting an answer.

ok…you could kill one of them

@coffeenut Thank you but I am not a murderer.

I’m just curious but what exactly doesn’t make them good for each other? If he’s abusive or something eually dangerous than tell her folks and let them handle it.

You’ve gotten answers. You just don’t like them. No one is required to tell you what you think you want to hear, especially without more information than you’ve given us.

We’re not going to help you destroy others relationships. Mind your own business and grow up. Who the hell are you to decide if 2 people are good for each other or not.

I do see it from everyone’s point of view, but the situation is very difficult to explain. I’m sorry if you are offended by my question.

lol…not physically

kill one on the relationship and it will crumble….ie:turn one agents the other but don’t try to turn them both

Kid, its better for the couple to go through the motions themselves, to learn for themselves. Yeah, someone is probably gonna get hurt, but life is far from “perfect,” let them learn from this.

I know it may be a terrible thought to you, but you really should not steal this from them, bad relationship when you’re young are a good thing to experience and learn from to hopefully not make those same mistakes again.

However, if someone is abusing the other, that’s a tad bit of a different story.

@coffeenut i see where you’re going with this…

proof of a non-existent relationship no-no works well sometimes

lol, what you’re asking about @lov3xDrnk is the equivalent of asking to learn black magic to become a world leader or how to kill puppies. You’re asking to do something that you shouldn’t be asking how to do, not necessarily for their sake but for your own. You don’t want to be someone who broke someone up.. but you may not understand why that is until you are older.

But let’s say you’re trying to protect someone from an evil influence. For example, maybe this guy is a huge drug user and he’s going to lead your friend down a bad path. In such a case, I would say the best way to break someone up is to be a good friend to the person you are protecting. Make sure they know they have a sense a family with you and their current group of friends so that they don’t feel the need to pursue negative forms of camaraderie elsewhere.

Talk openly and honestly about why the bad things the evil-mate is accustomed to actually are undesirable things for anyone in your group of positive friends, especially the one who’s in love, to associate themselves with. Be frank about the alternative, more positive lifestyle you and your buds are interested in.

With a clear vision of her choices between a group of people who are positive and group of people who are negative, your friend will make her own decision. So, make sure your group has a great sales pitch.. better than the evil mate’s sales pitch. Also, be good to the evil mate. Keep him around and keep and eye on them. He could become a better person by associating with good people like yourselves or else he will illustrate just how far removed he is from her better interests.

How old are the folks involved in this relationship? What makes you think you know what is best for them? I am inclined to chime in in favor of minding your own business, however if you are concerned for either or both participants how about discussing it directly with them. By overtly or even covertly trying to break them up you are only bringing trouble upon yourself.

@ninjacolin I suggest you try to learn a little bit more about the situation before you make hurtful judgements. I don’t why you are “loling”.

@lov3xDrnk How do you expect @ninjacolin to “learn a little bit more about the situation” if you don’t divulge more information? You want the answers you want, not the answers we are giving. If you have information that you are willing to share that will change our answers, then feel free to divulge it.

Oooo oo oo, I want in on this one too. My experience tells me to tell you to watch out! Because its likely the couple will gang up on you once they realize your muddling’s in their affairs.Thats all.

@lov3xDrnk what “hurtful judgments” are you referring to? I for one lurved @ninjacolin‘s answer, it made good sense. Before you continue to slam the responders take a minute and re-read @JilltheTooth‘s quip. Just because these are not the answers you want doesn’t mean they not good answers.

@lov3xDrnk Judgements aren’t negative by definition. Never fear judgements, understand them. They’re just milestones on the way to better judgements. Notice you made a judgement that my “lol” was somehow negative against you and it set you off.. that’s okay. It wasn’t negative. Now you know.

I’m lauging at the level of caution everyone else is taking with your question. I’m laughing at the fact that you caught on to their caution and boldly evaded it with a fluther-legal defense. I was a little impressed actually.

We are concerned about the ethics of your question, and that’s why people are telling you to leave them alone. It is highly unethical to answer your question. It’s like answering a question where someone asks how to assassinate the President.

If you are going to be an ethical person, then you have to frame this in terms of your concerns. You should talk to each member of the couple, and tell them you are concerned they are bad for each other, and ask them to stop seeing each other.

You must be honest and straight-forward about this. You must be prepared to explain your concerns. You must offer reasons that will help them understand your concerns.

There is no sure-fire way to do this, but you can be damn sure that if you are sneaky about it, they will hate you when they find out and your reputation will be shit. Doesn’t matter that all your other friends think this couple doesn’t belong together. If they think so, they should tell the couple, too.

Anyway, if you are serious about meddling in someone else’s relationship about which you know nothing (even though you think you know everything), then be honest about it. Go directly to the people involved.

My daughter is 14. She sees her friends going through this kind of thing, but she is wise enough to stay out of it. The other way to break them up is to wait. Relationships of people aged 13 typically is no longer than a couple of months, if that. Of course, some will last longer, and others will be shorter, but people your age are too inexperienced and too immature to be able to keep a relationship together, on average.

So your best course of action is to wait. Come back here in six months and tell me they are still together, and I’ll send you a chocolate bar. Or a gift box from Lush.

@wundayatta, Thank you so much! I adore Lush. Well I’m glad you think your daughter is wiser than me without even knowing me. I’m actually quite smart. Several of my poems are published and I have started on a book. @ninjacolin, Thanks, I’m glad you were impressed.

@ninjacolin I agree with the level of caution.

Egads, stay out of it. Mixing into other people’s relationships is a bad, bad idea.

Wisdom and intelligence are NOT the same thing

Bahaha this thread is hilarious.

I suggest you try to learn a little bit more about the situation before you make hurtful judgements. I don’t why you are “loling”.

Yeah well…you haven’t told us anything. Detail would be appreciated. Why are they no good for one another? If it’s a question of abuse you may have observed, then you need to get in contact with some of their friends or family relations and tell them what you saw, maybe even an authoritative figure.

You suggest that we learn a little more about the situation but we can’t unless you provide the information. We are not telepathic despite how awesome some of the Flutherites here are.

Mods are you there? Is this for real? This sounds like a mean, naughty little girl trying to stir up trouble and pretend that she’s grown up.

Everybody has tried to explain to you that what you are doing is not any of your business, no matter how you feel about the couple’s situation. If one of the people in this situation is your friend, then you could kindly explain that you are worried about him/her and give them good solid reasons why. If they don’t agree with you, then leave them alone. It’s their lives, not yours.

Or if there is some potential danger involved (is one of the couple abusing the other?) Then you should go to your school counselor and let them know what is happening.

@lov3xDrnk It is a horrible fact that people find out sooner or later, but most people are much more similar than they like to think. So I don’t know you, but I can make a lot of very good guesses about you. Human situations are almost never unique. We all know what will happen if you try to break up this relationship. I mean, don’t you wonder why everyone is saying the same thing? What makes you think you’re all that different?

I know the answer to that, too. You’re a teen. We were all teens, too. We remember what we were like. And guess what? Most of the people here are really smart, too.

It seems like you don’t want to hear what you don’t want to hear. I wonder why you are so adamant about this. Do you have an interest in one of the parties in the couple? If you really care so much about the lives of these people, the best thing to do, really, really, really, is to leave them alone.

Please, believe me when I tell you they are not going to last.

@lov3xDrnk, Are you going to give any more details or just spar with the crowd. Crap or get off the pot.

Listen… If you’re as smart as you think you are, you would know that you have no place in breaking them up – unless the situation is physically dangerous.

MYOB! Do not attempt to interfere in their relationship.

If the couple you are trying to break up is your age, just wait. Relationships at that age don’t last.

I know this isn’t the answer you want, but you can’t make people feel differently about one another. Your attempts will only make them feel worse towards you.

Also, I can bet that you don’t know about a couple’s relationship as thoroughly as you think you do. Only they know if they are good for one another, and how they make each other feel. From the outside, it might look like a bad relationship, but unless there is actual danger or abuse involved, I don’t think you can know that for sure.

I have a friend who was with a guy that I absolutely hated; I thought he was a complete prick, I didn’t think he deserved her, and I couldn’t understand why she wanted to be with him. But they made each other happy. I didn’t understand it, but I didn’t need to; it wasn’t my business.

@Mariah I gave you a GA after only reading the first sentence. The rest is as awesome.

Let them and anyone else you get close to make their own mistakes. Doing so is good practice and will help you be a better parent if and when you decide to have kids of your own.