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Nullo's avatar

How would one desecrate or else defile a grave?

Asked by Nullo (21944points) January 16th, 2011

Say you’ve got a real monster of a relative who just died, and you want to take one final parting shot. Defiling (or else desecrating) their grave seems like a good way to do it and you’re all psyched up about it, but then you realize:
You’re the latest in a long line of civilized folk. Nobody’s ever taught you how to do it.


This is not an entirely serious question. I might need the skills one day, but it is unlikely.

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19 Answers

Mamradpivo's avatar

Wow, is this a rhetorical question? I mean, do what you need to do, but defiling a grave is really a dick move.

zenvelo's avatar

go do something else. They are dead, you’re not going to hurt them, you are going to hurt the surviving relatives.

Our society does not condone or tolerate disturbing or desecrating graves, no matter how despicable the person.

Nullo's avatar

@Mamradpivo It was recently impressed upon me that Batman has plans for every contingency. I do not expect to ever need this info, but now that I’ve thought of it, I’m curious.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

I’m sure glad you added the disclaimer, @Nullo. I was starting to think that this must be the end of time or something.

I don’t have a lot of experience in this line, either, so let’s just try some spitballing.

Simple vandalism covers a lot of ground. It’s ‘desecration’ when it’s directed at the burial site. So tipping over or breaking a headstone, switching headstones and painting malicious graffiti is one form of desecration.

If you want to go hard-core, then digging at the grave site, whether or not you unearth the casket, is a form of desecration. In places such as New Orleans that have above-ground mausoleums, then desecration can consist of breaking in to the crypt, additional damage is optional, including stealing buried relics, jewelry, etc.

Coloma's avatar

Poop on it, like a cat.

True story..years ago I buried my old cat and the next day his rival buddy cat of 14 years was sitting on his grave mound. I was convinced it was a sad tribute to his departed friend, but, alas, he was only taking a crap on his grave. lol

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Install a small dance floor over the top of it. Nothing too big,just enough for 40–50 people ;)

Arbornaut's avatar

I think this sort of thing would be fine for celebration of out living ones lifelong enemy or something like that. Just visit the grave in at an appropriate hour of the day, crack a bottle of your favorite bubbly, say a few words, maybe something like ‘Rot in hell you worthless piece of shit”, take a piss.. on his grave. And your done.

Rarebear's avatar

Pee on it. It’ll soak in, and nobody except you will know the difference.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Dig them up.

ucme's avatar

Strip naked & do a little jig of delight, whilst swinging your by now fully erect penis about the place yelling, “I’m glad you’re dead haha heehee”.......not to be confused with lunatic tendencies, unless there happens to be a full moon that evening.

lillycoyote's avatar

We had a neighbor when I was growing up who hated his boss at Dupont so much that after the guy died our neighbor went over to his bosses’ grave and urinated on it.

incendiary_dan's avatar

Funny, it was my understanding that our civilized society was perfectly fine with disturbing and desecrating graves, so long as they’re graves of indigenous people.

XOIIO's avatar

Mix up 50 pounds of thermite, put it on to, light the thermite and RUN LIKE FUCK!

It would be the best news story. Ever.

omph's avatar

So the real question is, “What should be done to Ronald Reagan’s grave?”

I will just teach my kids how he fucked the country. They can trickle down if they want to.

incendiary_dan's avatar

@omph Best. Answer. Ever.

meiosis's avatar

Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best – spray paint “CUNT” on the headstone

Cruiser's avatar

Change the headstone with a fire hydrant and let the dogs take care of the rest.

Coloma's avatar

Disclaimer: I do not advocate grave desecration, but, the humorous factor is too hard to resist.

I think we have all shown our shadow side with this question. ;-)

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