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Should I feel bad hanging out in the common area if my roommates boyfriend is over?

Asked by dododododo (20points) January 17th, 2011

My roommates boyfriend probably comes over 1–3 evenings a week. It’s not like he’s hanging around the house all the time or staying the night for days at a time without contributing, and he’s a perfectly nice guy so I don’t necessarily have a problem with his presence or think that his frequent company is inappropriate by any means.

However, I’ll usually come home from work to find them watching a movie together or or having dinner in the common area of our apartment, and I usually try to get out of their way as quickly as possible. They have never blatantly requested privacy, I just assume they’d like it since I would be sort of annoyed if I had a friend/significant other over and would have to tailor our conversations/time spent together to the fact that a roommate is present (only because I’m not super close with my roommates and act a different way around them). So I usually just take my dinner and glass of wine into my bedroom and eat at my desk, which is sort of cramped and depressing.

I guess my question is, would it be appropriate to just join them if I want to watch TV or have a beer in the common area? I have two other roommates, and I have never seen them intrude on this roommate+boyfriend either, so I’m just trying to follow suit here. The obvious answer is is, of course I can use the freaking common area, I’m paying just as much for the place as she is and have a right to (and if they truly needed privacy, she has a bedroom). But I also want to be polite and give them a reasonable amount of space to converse or be cuddly without feeling like I’m “hovering”.

Would you be bothered by your roommate using the common area while you and a boyfriend/girlfriend is? What would you do in my shoes? Would you say anything to ease awkwardness? Or should I just keep doing what I’ve been doing to stay out of their way, and hope that they do the same when I have a friend/SO over?

TLDR: Roommate is nice, but we’re not close, I feel awkward when boyfriend is over and they’re in the common area so I don’t use it because I want to be polite; what would you do?

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