General Question

Naruto1's avatar

How do I tell my girlfriend she is too clingy without hurting her?

Asked by Naruto1 (21points) January 20th, 2011

She is someone that would hurt me bad if i said something wrong.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

10 Answers

water_123's avatar

Tell one of her close freinds in a nice way, and maybe theyll talk to her about it. Or tell her but I only would if she asks you.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Why are you in a relationship with someone that would hurt you if you said something wrong? If you can’t be open and honest with her, you don’t have much of a relationship, to be honest.

Just tell her that while you enjoy spending time with her, you don’t like what she is doing. Use statements like “When you do ______, I feel ____ and I would prefer if ______.” (you fill in the blanks).

Kardamom's avatar

Sounds like your relationship is already on shaky ground. A good relationship is one where people can and do talk openly and freely. Sit her down and just tell her that you love her and want to be with her, but it makes you feel a little suffocated when she does X Y or Z and that you hope that she can talk to you (and listen to you) and not get angry or panicky. Tell her that if she gets angry or panicky, then you know that there is something wrong with your relationship and you either need to end it or fix it, right now.

If you let her continue to be clingy and don’t say anything to her about it, then the clinginess will just get worse. If you don’t talk to her about this and other things that are important to you, then she will just continue down this path. If you are afraid of her, then you are with the wrong person. If you are afraid that she will break up with you because you dare to bring up topics that are important to you, then you have chosen the wrong person to date.

She might get really angry when you bring up this subject and she might break up with you. If she does, then you just dodged a bullet.

wundayatta's avatar

Talk to her about it. Do not tell her she is too clingy. Rather, tell her what you want from the relationship. Maybe you want to see her less (say spend more time doing other things), or spend more time doing what you want instead of being on the phone so much with her.

Tell her what you want to do with her. Not what you don’t want to do. Always be positive.

If she can’t talk to you like an adult without wanting to kill hurt you, they it is probably a bad idea to maintain that kind of relationship with her.

Mariah's avatar

Make it sound like your problem, not hers.
“I require a lot of alone time” rather than “you don’t give me enough alone time.”

Aster's avatar

“She is someone that would hurt me bad if i said something wrong.” You mean, she wouldn’t cry but she’d hurt you physically or verbally . This strikes me as a dysfunctional relationship.

josie's avatar

She is someone that would hurt me bad if i said something wrong
Cannot be a healthy relationship. You sound like a hostage. I wouldn’t put up with that for a second. You’re foolish if you do. Unless you’re 13 or something. And even then I wouldn’t put up with it.

mrrich724's avatar

You can’t tell girls, especially clingy ones, that they are too clingy without hurting them.

You just gotta man up, & deal with the repercussions of your “clingy comment”, or deal with the clingy-ness.

mistic84's avatar

There is always ALWAYS something wrong with a girl that’s too clingy and violent. It sounds like you need to reassess the relationship and where you see this going. Don’t let her bully you. In my opinion, there is nothing worse than a man that doesn’t have enough balls to stand up for himself when he knows something is really wrong.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther