General Question

gailcalled's avatar

How hard is it to say, "I'm sorry," "You might be right,"or "good point"?

Asked by gailcalled (54522points) April 12th, 2008

I find I can apologize more easily as I age. I used to get very defensive when challenged; not a helpful technique.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

11 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

My ex-husband used to say “A” on very important issues in our personal lives; 6 months later he would say “B”; when I challenged him regularly, his answer was “I was simply thinking out loud.”

A colleague of his, after she was no longer working for him, said that he “reinvented history.” It didn’t help our marriage.

peedub's avatar

My immediate reaction is always to be defensive. As the years go by I’m getting much better at accepting criticism. If it’s from the right person, I welcome it. I helps one grow.

ppcakes's avatar

i never have a problem admitting im wrong when PROVEN wrong, but their has to be facts there and i have to understand what was wrong before i admit it, but i was brought up if you’re wrong fess up to it. and i always have done just that.

delirium's avatar

I went through some rough things in my life, and learned a lot about learning to apologize for things. I’m better at it than I used to be, and hopefully i’ll continue to get better. :]

gailcalled's avatar

It is easy when there are facts involved: viz: When was the battle of Hastings? (When was the Battle of Hastings, btw?)

But if there are emotions; “I have to tell you that your last remark hurt me,“etc.,
then some people can’t admit that there are issues to work on. And a minority have to win, no matter what the stakes.

wildflower's avatar

I find it easy to apologize for anything I’ve inflicted, whether intentional or not. I think the biggest block for apologizing to people who need to hear it is believing wrongs and rights are universal. They’re not. There are as many perceptions on everything as there are people and you can never know someone else’s perception until they choose to make it known. Before you know it, you can apologize for unintentionally have gone against them, when you know their perception you can apologize for challenging or opposing their views or perceptions.
At the end of the day a blameless apology hurts noone, ie “sorry you feel that way”

delirium's avatar

I find a lot of the time I accidentally apologize even when it wasn’t my fault. Or if someone spills something and apologizes, I automatically say “No, its my fault, i’m sorry” which is all fine and dandy until its something Blatantly not my fault and it gets awkward after I do it.

gooch's avatar

@ gail If I recall correctly the battle of hasting was in 1066.

I learned something from Dr. Phil. In a marriage you can be right or you can be happy. I love that saying because now I am always happy!

gailcalled's avatar

@Gooch; Thank you. And good aphorism from Dr. Phil.

Donato's avatar

Nobody likes to be told they’re wrong or be told what to do. When I was younger I thought I knew it all. As I got older, I’ve realized that I have so much to learn.

lindabrowne1's avatar

My favorite saying: You can either be right or in relationship,

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther