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victord66's avatar

Bow Tie Question?

Asked by victord66 (201points) April 14th, 2008

Would it be appropriate to wear a bow tie with a dark suit to a funeral?

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5 Answers

wildflower's avatar

I would sooner recommend no tie than a bow tie, for the simple reason that I for one associate bow ties with occasions of celebrations, galas and such.
– but that’s just my preference. Depending on the culture of the crowd at the funeral and your personal style, it could work…

smart1979's avatar

No it’s not, a bow tie is too over the top, and it will be inappropriate because you will draw attention to yourself, where a funeral is about showing respect to the family.

puppetdan's avatar

The only way you can justify the bow tie is if you are one of those people who wear bow ties exclusively and often. It would also help if everyone at the funeral knew it. I have had a few friends like the above and for them it was exceptable to wear the bow tie.

LunaFemme's avatar

Wow, I never would have thought that what you wore to a funeral made a statement about respecting the deceased family. For me funerals are about honoring and celebrating someone’s life. I might be more concerned with etiquette if I had an obligation to be at the funeral and weren’t there to say good-bye to a friend or loved one.

Personally, I think bow ties are kinda dorky. I really don’t think to many people pull them off well and most people I know that wear bow ties wear bow ties almost exclusively.

Bottom line—Wear whatever you’re comfortable in. If you had a close connection to the deceased, it’s going to be a rough / emotional day and comfort will be key.

Good luck and I’m sorry for your loss.

srmorgan's avatar

My initial reaction was the same as that of smart1979, it’s really too much and you would call attention to yourself,
However there are small bow ties and BIG OVERDONE BOW TIES and a small one that was not half the size of your face and was in a solid black or dotted with small dots, what we used to call “dotted swiss” back when I was in the rag trade, might meet the standards of decorum.

And yes, funerals are about celebrating life, but they are also about the survivors who at that very moment are going through the most difficult situation anyone has to face during a lifetime. Even if the deceased was 98 and frail and not “there” anymore, it is still a time of grief and sadness and you are there both to pay your respects to the deceased but also to support and comfort the living.

My father died in November at the age of 85. He led a full life, no regrets. The service was pretty upbeat, the Rabbi was a riot, it was the first Jewish funeral that I know of that had a eulogy given by a Lutheran minister, a friend of my father’s and it wasn’t all weepy with screaming mourners. But it was still sad, it’s not a fun time and going to a funeral is about the last thing anyone wants to do, in my opinion.

So you wear black, you wear something conservative because it is not a cocktail party and you pay your respects and you leave when it is over.


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