Social Question

lostgirl88's avatar

What does a guy mean when he says I don't want to have this conversation again for a while?

Asked by lostgirl88 (16points) February 9th, 2011


So this guy and me have an interesting relationship. We do everything together practically, cook, eat, travel, go shopping, the works. The only problem is is that I have feelings for him and he claims to see me as a little sister. Recently something happened that put me in a difficult position and I had to make a difficult choice. It was right after I got rejected and the choice determined both our fates. I didn’t know what to do, and was leaning towards just saying good bye and never looking back. Anyways I chose the latter, and it was alright for a while but then he asked me why I chose what I chose and when I told him it kind of overwhelmed him. I’m not really sure where to go from here.

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12 Answers

Kardamom's avatar

You are going to have to provide some more details for us to answer this question.

What happened that put you in the difficult position and what choice did you have to make?

From what you have said, you have feelings for this guy, but he doesn’t feel the same way as you do and he sees you as his little sister. Is it possible that this guy is gay? That would make sense if he enjoys doing all of the travel, shopping, cooking with you on a regular basis, but doesn’t see you in a romantic manner. I can’t think of another situation in which the guy would be willing (and enjoy) doing all of those typically “couples” kinds of things with a woman with whom they were not in a relationship. If he was straight, it seems more likely that he would do those kinds of things with his male friends than with a woman who he knows is interested in him, for whom he doesn’t have feelings. It would be weird.

john65pennington's avatar

Have you ever heard the phrase “mind games”. Some people are really good at playing with your mind. I can only assume they receive some kind of psychological pleasure from their actions and words. I really detest people that treat other people in this manner. It’s like a controlling factor with a twist to it. I would advise him that you are aware of his tactics. You are treading on thin ice here, simply because you have feelings for him and you are not sure where he is coming from.

Lay everything on the line and see what developes. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Axemusica's avatar

Could you be any less vague? Seriously I couldn’t be anymore lost with whatever it is you’re trying to say.

john65pennington's avatar

I think she is stating that she approached him with a sexual encounter and was rejected by him. I could be wrong. I have been before.

zenvelo's avatar

I am completely lost as to the connection between the headline question and the story. If he is the one who asked you about your choice, what conversation does he not want to have again?

Supacase's avatar

I’m confused. What were the two choices? I only see the option of walking away and leaving it all behind. What was the other option?

perspicacious's avatar

I don’t see what you wouldn’t understand about that comment.

Seaofclouds's avatar

So I’m guessing at some point you thought you had to choose between having him in your life or walking away from him completely. You chose to keep him in your life and when you explained to him that you did it because you have feelings for him, the two of you had a conversation about you having feelings for him and him only seeing you as a sister. I’m guessing that the comment he made about not wanting to have that conversation again had something to do with that (I could be way off, just trying to make a guess at this one).

If that’s the case, it sounds pretty simple to me and he’s saying he doesn’t want to talk about you having feelings for him anymore. He was probably not comfortable with it and possibly even grossed out by the thought of you as more than a friend (if he really sees you as a sister).

If you could give us more details, we might be able to figure more out.

josie's avatar

It may mean “I can not understand what you are saying, and the effort is making me tired. Let me rest for awhile so I can reboot my brain”

Likeradar's avatar

Sounds to me like he told you he wasn’t romantically interested in you, then you put a lot of pressure on him and he doesn’t want to talk about it again.

WasCy's avatar

I think we all (including you) understand exactly what a guy means when he says “I don’t want to have this conversation again for awhile”. That’s pretty plain and obvious, unless he’s speaking in some kind of code.

No, what’s not at all clear is… everything you said to ‘explain’ that and add detail.

1. You have (unexplained) “feelings for him”.
2. You were in a difficult position that no one has a clue about.
3. You had to make a difficult choice between something no one is aware of, or walking away and not looking back, which is apparently what you did.
4. This choice came about after some kind of (unexplained) rejection.
5. The choice inexplicably “determined both your fates”. (Get dramatic much?)
6. That choice was apparently okay for awhile, but then he got you to look back, or at least talk.
7. He asked you why you made that choice, and when you told him… something… it overwhelmed him… somehow.

I guess I can see why he said that. I don’t want to have this conversation again soon, either. No one understands what it is that you are saying. You might ask yourself if this happens frequently, and take steps to correct that.

ette_'s avatar

When you say you had “just been rejected”, was this by said guy, or another guy?

And if you made the choice to say goodbye, how did he get back into the picture? I know it’s hard to say goodbye, I’ve been in that position before where you try to say goodbye and it works, but only temporarily, and then the guy or girl “misses” you and you run right back to them.

I don’t know exactly what he said “I don’t want to have this conversation again for a while” to, but it’s pretty clear that he actually means “I don’t ever want to have this conversation again, ever” if he’s talking about feelings. If he’s only talking about something like, he doesn’t want to hear you say anything negative about yourself, or you disagreeing with a life decision he made, then I get the “for a while” part but I’m pretty sure he just doesn’t want to talk about whatever it is you were talking about…

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