Any suggestions of books, general advice, methods, etc. for spiritual or alternative methods to relationships/getting to know a partner?
No drug suggestions, please (I’ve been there, done that, don’t do that any longer)
I’ve just begun (about 3 months) a relationship with a woman who I can see a future with. We’ve spoken about perhaps taking a different approach at times, getting to know each other through different practices, switching it up in other ways we’ve run past relationships. Nothing is wrong, we are just open!
So I’m looking for suggestions. Of course it doesn’t have to be published advice, it can be simply personal. I know that relationships take time; they take shared experiences, ups, down, all that….
Thanks!
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11 Answers
I learned alot by reading the Dr.Phil books
Going through things together and experiencing things together are the best ways to learn about each other. the experiences can be good or bad, forced or naturally occurring. Either way, you will learn things about each other without meaning to.
The depth of a relationship is measured in how open you can be and trust in each other. This evolves through time and being there for each other through thick and thin. There is no speed way, but just open honest communication is a great start. Get to know and explore each other.
Take long car rides spontaneously to nowhere specific. Get out with friends and socialize and learn how you each interact and act in a group.
Take you time and enjoy the process and building a solid foundation.
This idea is stolen from Marriage Encounter. Develop a list of open ended relationship questions and journal about them individually. Then exchange journals. Take turns being the first to respond and start the discussion. Focus on your FEELINGS about the question and not your thoughts. Remember that feelings are neither right or wrong.
I don’t know if this will be as effective without the structure and training provided in a marriage encounter weekend, but it was amazing for my husband and I.
One of the things I told my wife before we got married was this. That I would never get to know her. Because then I can create her everyday in my eyes and renew my love, respect and honor for her. And each day I tell her how that feeling and view is.
@summum, great answer – lurve to you. and that is all well and good, but doens’t that make it too subjective? i want to know her outside of my perceptions (if that is at all possible).
I feel it allows me such freedom and joy. I get to experience her every day with a new view. There are days when I am sick or down that keep me from letting her know as much but over all I never ever let a day go by that she doesn’t hear that I love her and honor her. I guess a lot of this stems from her being so sick these past few years. She has had to learn how to walk again, lost all her hair, lost over 100 pounds and had so many surgeries that her stomach looks like a road map. No pun intended. She even lost her naval from the surgeries. And now I am so very grateful for her and our relationship has become new. During all of this I kept her in my heart with my new definition for her and it kept her love alive and hopefully helped her survive. The Doctor told me he thought she would die 6 different times while being so sick. But she is here and yesterday we walked 2 miles together.
To piggyback on @marinelife‘s answer, Harville Hendrix teaches IMAGO therapy and a really cool tool to use is the intentional dialogue
I think you will find that you will learn a lot about each other and it will strengthen the relationship. Awwww….love is in the air!
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