Do you regret having kids?

No, I don’t. They have brought me much joy and wonder and love. That does not mean they have not changed my life to an alternative path, but that’s okay.

I have met people, though, who had no business having kids, and they were and are unprepared as parents. They do not verbalize it, but their behavior demonstrates it.

I regret not having kids so I could regret having kids…

Good god no, never in a million years. My kids are the best thing that’s ever going to happen to this lucky chappie :¬)

Wow. Um..regret, no. Realize how drastically altered my free time, finances and the rest of my life is due to having children, yes.

I admit to occasionally envying my childless peers – especially their financial freedom because all their money can be spent on their own entertainment, travel and whims.

However I cannot imagine not having my kids – they are my family, they are everything that matters to me..they are my reason for doing 99% of the tough stuff I do each day. I learn from them, my heart expanded because of them – dang, I could even go so far as to say they make me a better person.

@Bun : Do you have kids? I think you’ve oversimplified here. If you get anyone to say they honestly regret having kids, here, I’ll be very surprised. There’s such a strong ingrained social bias against anyone who says so that few will risk that kind of censure. What are these “articles” (your use of the plural is noted) to which you refer?
And, no, I’ve never regretted it for a minute.

Never ever and not for one minute. They are the best thing that ever happened to me.

No; I can’t envision my life never having my offspring in it. They brought me such joy when they were very young. However, that being said, it’s unfortunate that they can turn out to be so destructive to your health , both mental and physical, that there have been brief moments in time that I’ve wondered how much different my life would have been had I not had my first one. She has had an astronomical impact on me and it matters nothing to her one way or the other. );

Ah! My apologies for being so vague. I have no kids, and no bias against parents or anything like that.

Sorry, mums and dads, I know most of you love your kids, wouldn’t live without them, etc, and that every decent parent makes monumental, life-changing sacrifices.

I am curious about the ones that DO regret it – if anyone has any interesting stories/perspective they would like to share.

I definitely regretted marrying a woman with a kid…lol. That’s probably not the same, but it would depend on my financial situation: If I was completely in poverty and had no more social life, simply because I had to take on these important responsibilities…..then yes, I imagine I would be filled with some regret.

Not in the least. Sure, they are expensive, but worth every dime I earned.

I wish I hadn’t had a kid with my ex wife, but at the same time I’m ecstatic about the kid we did have. Does that make sense? I love the kid to bits and don’t regret her one second, but do regret a) leaving her a child with divorced parents and b) having the life-long emotional tangle with her mum.

I don’t regret them one bit. I would be a lot wealthier had I not chosen to have children. My travels would be further than they are and my wardrobe would have a lot more awesomeness to it…it’s okay though. I wouldn’t trade those things for moments with my children.

Don’t get me wrong, they can break your heart in an instant; then, the next minute, they are very loving.

My sister didn’t have children. She swore up and down she didn’t want them; however, years later, she admitted she didn’t have them because the man she was married to didn’t want children. She regrets not having them, or having the chance to have children.

I don’t particularly like other people’s children, but I have never regretted my own. They are the best thing to have happened to me. Yes, I’d have more money, but it would have just been spent on material stuff. Instead, I feel like I’ve invested in the future in the children. They are bright, kind, and hard-working young adults.

I don’t regret having my son at all. He is the best thing that came from my first marriage and one of the best things in my life to this day. I can’t wait to have more children. :)

Never. Even when they are giving me the absolute shits, they are my pride and joy. They (along with my husband) are the best things that have happened in my life and I have had a lot of good things happen to me.

There is a poem I wrote out for my dad once. He did all of these things for me. I hope I come close to being these things for my children but I know absolutely, they are all of these things for me.. This internet link says it was written by Roy Croft, but the book I originally found it in listed as an anonymous writer.

I love you not only for what you are but what I am when I am with you.

I love you not only for what you have made of yourself but for what you are making of me.

I love you for that part of me which you bring out.

I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart and passing over all the foolish and frivolous and weak things that you cannot help dimly seeing there and for drawing out into the light all the beautiful and radiant belongings that no one else has looked quite far enough to find.

I love you for ignoring the possibility of the fool and weakling in me and for laying hold on the possibilities of good in me.

I love you for closing your ears to the discords in me and for adding to the music in me by worshipful listening.

I love you because you are helping me to make the lumber of life not a tavern but a temple and the words of my everyday not a reproach but a song.

I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good and more than any fate could have done to make me happy.

You have done all this without a touch, without a word, without a sign.

You have done it just by being yourself.

Perhaps that is what being a friend means after all.

”
Love by Roy Croft

I don’t have kids, but I’ve had a number of students who were single mothers. In their writing assignments, they echo the above consensus. (I never asked any of them to write specifically about family matters, but sooner or later, when a writing assignment was open-ended enough to let them talk about their kids, they did.) I also know women who have had abortions. It’s a small sample, but without exception, the single moms seem happier with the choice they’ve made. I also know a few women in their 40s who seem to be really happy and have their acts together. I think not waiting too long to have kids is part of this, because these particular women have little else in common.

My children are my world and i’m so thankful each and everyday.

Hey your not following the guidelines!! lol This person wanted people who REGRET having kids not all these lovey dovey stories about not regretting having them…on that note I don’t regret my daughter at all…when I get mad at her I wish I could send her back where she came from with my boot firmly planted in her butt…wait I kinda regret saying that cuz I like my boots =}

No…not one bit!! I wish I had more. My two boys are the world to me!!

This question comes up ever three or four months, and I am glad to say, I have never, ever regretted having children. What I have regretted is having even more.

I am probably a lousy father. My kids did not go to college, and they are worker bees, not eagles of industry. My daughter is a body piercer. My step-daughter left home at 15 to manufacture and sell meth. My son (who refers to himself as “the good one”) is an Ironworker, when he can get work, and it breaks my heart how rare that is these days. That said, my daughter is terrific at what she does, and is becoming well known in the industry for being so kind and friendly and capable. My step-daughter is now a single mom, who works hard at a crappy job, bought a house, and has been clean for 8 years, and never misses a chance to tell her mom and I how sorry she is for the trouble way back when. When my son comes home from work, and I see him walking with pain in his legs, and back (something I know a lot about), I feel terrible, yet very proud. My kids are not the wonderful contributers to society that every parent hopes for, but I am very proud of each of them, I love them all dearly, and I never regret having them.

@filmfann I hope it’s not too nikpicky to point out you didn’t have your stepdaughter.

I have helped my wife raise her since she was 4. She has never called me Dad, but has told me that I am more of a father to her than her real dad.

@yarnlady as long as we’re picking nits, I think you left a “not” out of your earlier post.

@submariner ?

@YARNLADY you said,

“This question comes up ever three or four months, and I am glad to say, I have never, ever regretted having children. What I have regretted is having even more.”

Read what you wrote. Are you saying you don’t regret having the first child, but you do regret having the rest? Or you did you mean to say that you regret NOT having more?

I regret that I did not have more. I don’t understand what you are reading in my answer.

READ YOUR EXACT WORDS!!! You left out a “not”! Jeez o pete!

So I regret not having more – or I what I regret is having more.? Hahahahaha.

@filmfann worker bees are contributors to society. Where would we be without them? All honest labor is honorable.

Hi Filmfann, your post was very touching. Your kids are doing the best they can and I don’t think we can ever expect more than that of our children. Sounds to me like you did a good job not a lousy one.

@filmfann You sound like a sweetheart with a wonderful family. (; You’ll be fine; I can tell.

No, but I wish I could go back and not do the things I did wrong…..

@YARNLADY It’s hard for some to understand, but it is possible to fully love, be involved with, sacrifice for and hurt-for a child that you’ve raised, even if it’s not biologically yours. That was a bit clunky, but you get the picture. You have kids. Doesn’t matter where they came from.

@filmfann It hurts, doesn’t it. My kids are all good, hard workers, and not into drugs, but I wish they were in a better place…..even the one that I adopted.

@Dutchess_III I’m sorry I was so insensitive. I fully believe adopted children are yours, and I didn’t mean to imply otherwise.

I know @YARNLADY. It’s OK. But even if you never adopt them they can become “yours.” My daughter was “mine” for seven years before I was able to adopt her. It happened the same month that I gave birth to my first baby. What a month!!
There were so many people who just didn’t understand…they’d say things like, “But she’s not even yours…” And one family reunion some idiot got the idea of designating kids who were adopted with a dotted line or some such shit. That was very painful for my oldest…and I was very pissed.