Are you now or have you ever been a stud?

MIlo here: You really have to ask? http://tinypic.com/m/2lvtpy/2

I have a good sense of style, lots of confidence and…what was the third thing?

Oh, yeah, I invented hygiene.

My solution is the two large and muscular but very polite bodyguards I keep at hand.

I use to be a stud before I got married. Like so many people I suppose lol. To be a stud, you need 3 things; A good sense of style, confidence (even if its faked…you fake it long enough and it will become natural), and hygiene. I swear to god its that simple. All the details and such will fall in place after that.

Heyyy, How you doin ?
Yes when I was 17 -19 I had the good Job good car and hot girl, after a year I split with my girl and OMG was there a queue to take her place so many girls in my town after me that things started to turn nasty. Girls were getting twisted and extremely catty with each other and many Guys disliked me.
“why do I think people were attracted to me?’ Well as I said the material things and promise I showed but I was also deep and mysterious, I listened and was very respectful to women.
‘Did you try to accommodate everyone? For a few months after my break up, Yes I did, thats when it got messy, Its like I was simon Cowel and was auditioning people, and we all know nobody really likes a Simon.
I moved away to Greece a couple of years later and became a nobody again but my ego still suffers from the experience. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2i0QWXvOn0

No, not even in my mind. Must have missed the “shallow train” back when it was running. It was probably for the better.

I had a really good few years around 19–22.

Maybe

I had my moment, yep. Those were good times. It becomes a self-perpetuating cycle, I think. I think people, at least in part, are attracted to your confidence -which is boosted by all of the attention, which in turn attracts more people. I could be wrong, I’m sure being a pretty girl in my early 20’s helped.. but I think the confidence was a huge factor.

@woodcutter why is this considered shallow? @wundayatta asked a question and people are answering honestly. I think many people look at people who seem to have everything pulled together and who seem to send out a good vibe that people respond to and wonder how they do it. If it can be replicated.

Me? I’ve had a lot of attention at various points in my life and it makes me uncomfortable. I tend to walk away from situations like that.

DISCLAIMER: This is a sort of sensitive question, because women are not considered “studs” or looked upon admirably when they are promiscuous, highly flirtatious, or with several people in a short period of time.

And unlike @JmacOroni I was not brimming with confidence, but everyone wanted a piece of me at one point in my twentieth year. I had just gotten out of a violent, destructive relationship, subsequently raped, and then met the man of my dreams, who ran away from me a month after we started seeing eachother, directly before this period of promiscuity began. So I chalk my behavior back then up to self-destructiveness. I am saying this now as a person with eleven years of hindsight on my side, but back then, I thought I was hot shit (even though I was numb inside) and I dressed and acted like it. I had approximately 20 sexual partners over the course of that winter.
Luckily, the man of my dreams came back the year after, and we got back together, and haven’t been apart a day since. :)

I am, always was, and always will be a stud. Except I’m lying.

I am very studly, people quake in my aura. They don’t think I see, but I do cuz their faces are like“Dayuuum, shorty is zaftig!”

Yes :)
I lost about 40 pounds at one point of my life.
I was lookin Geewwwddd…..
Well I felt good, I’m not really sure if I was…but girls and boys were after me like flies on…well..you know…but anyway…I guess people saw the confidence in me, I seriously had random people complement me and hand me their numbers….it was weird..I didn’t like it…Now I’m back to my old fat self…..yay.

@ladymia69 , DISCLAIMER ?
Get over yourself ! The OP explained what they meant by “stud”

Not even in my dreams.

Ah, buts stud spelled backwards is ‘duts’. So that proves it! I was right all along and everyone else was wrong or, at best, only partially correct, which is the same as being wrong.

Hey sweet thang! Said in the voice of Barry White chewing on a mouthful of wasps :¬)

Nah. I went from lonely, introverted geek to slightly-more-confident geek with a nerd girlfriend to much-more-confident adult geek with a nerd wife.

Nowhere in my social biography is the word “stud”.

@cprevite: As one of your two adoring ethermoms, I have always thought you were extremely studly.

@gailcalled: See, now there’s the kind of positive reinforcement I always needed. ;^)

Thanks ethermom-one.

Milo here: I, your ethercat, concur, and my standards are much more rigorous than dimbulb Gail.

Best thing about an ethercat…no allergies.

@cprevite: Similar to an etherchocolatechipcookie…no calories

@gailcalled: exactly.

not in this lifetime lol. I always lacked confidence, and that shows. Though if I was back on the market, I might have a shot since I have changed alot….......nah I will never have the type of personality that people (girls in particular) flock to. I have been passed over many a time for the more ‘macho’ or more ‘outgoing/extroverted’ guys.

HMMM, no I’ve never been a stud exactly, though I most definately stand out in school because of my weirdness. People just seem to notice me, get curious, approach me, ask lot’s of questions, and then leave me alone.I’m not exactly popular but everone knows me in school as I’m different.

As @cprevite‘s ethersister, I have always considered him a stud.
I’ve never been a studette.

As @chyna‘s ethermothe also, I consider her a thing of beauty and an esthetic delight.

Why yes, Wundayatta – once I was considered a “stud”. Recently actually. I convinced myself and tried to convince my therapist that having several attractive men (and women) at my beck and call was the only way to live.

Then one of my “harem” and I became more like friends and he really told me to look at what I was doing to myself. Lying to myself, thinking that there was some intimacy in this… when we both knew I CRAVED intimacy really, not this rationed-out sex in the disguise of love. He actually had me make a list! A list of all of them, their qualities, how we met, how they ranked. There were 7 or so “regulars” on the list. I think this exercise he presented me with changed me ultimately (in addition to lots of therapy). I could see myself hiding in that list.

They say awareness is key, because I have been seeing a great man who I am monogamous with now. My therapist couldn’t wipe the shit eating grin off her face as she asked me “so…. can you be monogamous with this person?” Of course the answer was yes.

It was easy to be a stud. I never had to deal with emotions or “overnights”.
Having a relationship is much harder, and consequently worth it all.

My friend mentioned above would be tickled to read this

So, to answer your questions:
If so, why do you think people were attracted to you?
Maybe because I didn’t care. Maybe because I felt free… maybe it’s easier for females of this nature because it is so rare. The men dig it. The men dug that they could tell me their stories – their “boring dating lives” and I wasn’t trying to be one of those women. Of course, all the men I attracted were unavailable so that is a completely different tale.

What did you do about it? Did you try to accommodate everyone?
It was a perfectly oiled machine. Their schedules were all different, and I was honest, so there was no issue. Mostly, they never asked about the others. Sometimes, we compared notes. sometimes I saw more than one in a day

Did you turn everyone away except one? How did you handle it?
There was a “main guy” the one who had been around for 8 years or so. He was most definitely a stud. Due to his own activities, there was no consistency in our get-togethers. He was also the least well-behaved.

Surprisingly they all seemed to be glad for me that I found someone I love. Yet, they all kinda said under their breath: “oh, you’ll be back”

we’ll see about that

@Odysseus Get over yourself…I am entitled to my opinion. If you don’t like opinions, you won’t like fluther, sweetheart.

I suppose I was a “stud” from the age of 17 until about the age of 24. I think it is because I am confident, dominant without being domineering, and respectful. In the end, I didn’t accommodate anyone. I only dated people completely separate from the group surrounding me, one of whom I wound up marrying. The ring on my finger seems to be what stemmed the tide of women throwing themselves at me, though it still happens in subtler ways from time to time. Much less often, however, for which I am grateful. As I am still friends with all but one of the women in question, I’d like to think I handled it well.