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Soubresaut's avatar

What would you never forgive yourself for?

Asked by Soubresaut (13700points) February 27th, 2011

We all do dumb things from time to time, yeah? (And some people do downright awful things.) So the relationship and understanding we build with ourselves it vital, when we have to move on with our lives from something we regret doing.

What’s your threshold of forgiveness with yourself? The largest of the things you could let go and move on from, or the smallest of the things you could never get past?
The worst thing, in your mind?

How does this vary from how you’d forgive others?

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21 Answers

mcbolden's avatar

I would never forgive myself for settling for anything less than what I want out of life. I want to accomplish certain things in my career and personal life and make my parents proud of me. If I don’t accomplish these things or somehow greatly disappoint my family, I would never forgive myself.

global_nomad's avatar

I would never be able to forgive myself if I quit when something got difficult or tough to deal with. Sh** happens and you just have to deal. I’ve been in a lot of situations where I think God, I just really want to give up right now and it’s so enticing. But I never have and I hope I never will. It’s the standard I set for myself, but I in no way expect others to do the same. But, yes, we all do dumb, stupid things that we really just wish we hadn’t done and I am able to forgive myself for those things. I just could never forgive myself for quitting when the going got tough. If I quit every time I have felt like it, or even thought about it, I would have accomplished nothing. This may seem like a small thing to some, but I know that I would forever hate myself if I quit something that was difficult. I also can never forgive myself when I do something half-way, or when I know I could have done better. I hate looking back on something and knowing that if I had just tried a little harder…

peny113's avatar

If I lost someone I love without telling and showing them that I love them.

Scooby's avatar

I found myself in many situations in the past where it was just better to walk away, if I had followed my instincts I’d have spent my life locked away & never been able to enjoy the life I’ve had….. Had I done that, then I could never have forgiven myself, not only would I have let myself down I wouldn’t be here now to take care of my mother in her old age, as none of my siblings wanted the job….. :-/
For keeping my siblings at a comfortable distance I can forgive myself……

Sandman's avatar

Hurting someone who has expressed nothing but love for me. It is a raw and simple guilt, but a powerful one, all the same.

Austinlad's avatar

Hitting and killing someone with my car—especially (if there can be an “especially”) a child.

chyna's avatar

I couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t take good care of my animals at all times.

Blackberry's avatar

Hitting and killing someone with my car.

mrentropy's avatar

What @peny113 said. And I know what it’s like.

whattodowhattodo's avatar

I would never forgive myself for hurting my children.

partyparty's avatar

I would never forgive myself if, each and every day, I didn’t tell my loved ones just how much I cared for them.
Only the best for each and every one of them
This would also apply for my animals

janbb's avatar

If I abused my children or killed someone.

MilkyWay's avatar

For hurting/killing/abusing/bullying a totally innocent person who has caused me no hurt or problems….even if i did it unconciously.

cak's avatar

This is when I wish we could be anonymous. Typing this and throwing it out to the world might just be what the doctor ordered.

Not terribly long ago, I attempted suicide. I did a pretty good job, too. I’ve been sick (with various illnesses and surgeries) for well over 5 years and reached a point where I got news that made things worse.

I flipped one morning, after I got my son to school – daughter was gone, as well. I took pills and waited. When my heart rate really starting changing, I panicked. I told my husband. For the record, he sprung into action, but was highly annoyed with me. I spent time in the ER having my stomach pumped and having to correct the harm that I did. I spent a couple of days in a hospital room trying to convince everyone that I was desperate

The guilt and shame I carry with me now, it’s almost unbearable. I love my family. I love my husband, my daughter, my son. I have good friends, a nice house and money in the bank. I have more than some people can say. I was so selfish and reckless with my actions, I haven’t reached forgiveness yet.

Recently, we lost a friend do to a horrific motorcycle accident. She left behind a mother, grandmother and a boy, the same age as my son. The lost look in his face kills me. I would have done that to my son. My daughter, my husband and so many others.

I’m sitting here in tears, I’m fearful of what people think. But it’s the truth. I just don’t see how I can forgive myself yet, if ever.

dreamer31's avatar

@cak we all have our moments of insanity because of an insane circumstance usually beyond our control, so forgive yourself. Let it go, knowing that you will never take that chance again.

I am glad you are okay, thanks for sharing:)

janbb's avatar

@cak Many of us here have seen you over the years and know the bravery and humor with which you have faced a dreadful illness. I think we can empathize with your despair and I wish you could let yourself forgive yourself for succumbing to it once. You are a wonderful, brave and loving person and I know your family knows that.

chyna's avatar

@cak You are a fighter. You have gone through so much illness as those of us that have been here for awhile can atest too. I find it completely understandable how that could’ve happened and I’m so glad you put a stop to it. You did. Forgive yourself Chris. We all love you and will never judge you.

partyparty's avatar

@cak That was so very brave of you to share your deep and dark secret with us.
We all have moments when we feel we can’t go on. Thankfully you survived and came out of it a stronger person. You have your family around you to support you.
Don’t carry this burden any longer. Forgive yourself, be kind to yourself – you deserve it :)))))))

2CDenzy's avatar

I would never forgive myself or would have a hard time forgiving others if they get in the way of my dreams and aspirations. I figure life is really worth living as long as you have something higher to climb to and achieve.

If I trick myself into giving up or accepting defeat I would have to rethink my purpose of being. If other people get in my way I find a new path or find ways to get around the problem. I guess I am more forgiving of others than myself is because they don’t stop me on purpose. I, on the other hand, know when I am trying to thwart myself and just give up. I can’t stand people who just give up. I don’t want to become that.

tessygre's avatar

I am 57 years old and still have a problem with hurting a very nice boyfriend I had when I was 16 and he was 17,,,that was 41 years ago and from time to time I think about what could have been, if i had not have been so mean to him on our last date, i was so immature about how I handled breaking up with him,, I did get a hold of him 4 years later and apolgized to him, it probably helped him forgive me ,, but it just made me wish i still had him back,, I found out a few days ago that he had died two months ago of cancer,, he was almost 58.. It told of his 33 year marriage to a loving wife and 4 wonderful children and 3 grandchildren… i pray every nite now that he had a wonderful life,, not with me,,, but a happy life just the same,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, thanks everyone who reads this,, it has helped me to express this issue on here….....

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