General Question

stevenb's avatar

Ladies, when is it ok for a guy to give you a compliment?

Asked by stevenb (3816points) April 16th, 2008 from iPhone

Can a stranger tell you you have beautiful eyes, or that you look very pretty, or that you have beautiful hair, or just smile and say hi? Can a stranger say those things to you without you feeling weird? When are you ok with compliments?

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20 Answers

syz's avatar

I like unexpected compliments. I occasionally pass them out, too.

That said, there’s a fine line between complimentary and creepy (or intrusive or pushy or overly familiar, etc).

I usually say something casually (you have beautiful eyes) and then move on, making it clear that I don’t expect anything in response (i.e., flirting).

wildflower's avatar

genuine compliments are welcomed anytime. Of course there are times when one doesn’t want to hear anything at all, including compliments and other times when you’re looking for someone to tell you something you’re eager to hear about and instead they drop compliments that they could save for another time. But other than that, always nice to hear nice things.

Babo's avatar

Always!!!

nikipedia's avatar

There’s a fine line between “flattering” and “creepy”. As long as you stay on the right side of that, timing is irrelevant.

0o_Niques_o0's avatar

depends on the guy i guess… i would be pretty creeped out if some guy twice my age complimented me… but other than that i think it would be fine…

Sloane2024's avatar

Women def love 2 hear compliments, but the circumstance must be @ least relatively conducive. For example, if a girl is with a guy (bf, hint, hint) it’s a VERY smart idea 2 refrain from dishing out the niceness, or if she is surrounded by a large group of girls, it’s always good 2 wait, for if u compliment only her, she’ll get massive amounts of nagging afterwards. Just as it is clearly stated above, don’t cross the creepy line & consider the scenario so your compliment will b received with much appreciation.

babygalll's avatar

It’s nice to get compliments. I get them all the time and they are usually unexpected. I don’t mind when who I get them from, but if it’s someone giving me creepy looks after they said it. Then they crossed the line.

delirium's avatar

I absolutely adore them and usually squeal, blush, and hug the speaker.

Allie's avatar

I’ll take a compliment anytime. I think it’s ok for strangers to say nice things until it crosses the creepy line. If they start a conversation that’s ok, but if they follow you around a store or stand super close it’s kind of awkward.

delirium's avatar

Also, its inadvisable to do it when my SO is standing right next to me. He usually responds in a very cynical manner. (“And I Don’t?!” [have beautiful eyes/hair/etc.])

Kay's avatar

It’s usually welcome anytime unless the environment is inappropriate… I had a guy trying to hit on me while I was waiting for dilating eye drops to kick in at my eye doctor’s office the other week. So, maybe not doctor’s offices?

delirium's avatar

My cousin has a story of a guy who was flirting offhandedly at her when she went to pick up something at her doctors office and in the midst of it her doc walked out and loudly explained to her that he had the results of her pap smear right there and he’d like to do some more tests. (holy run on sentence, batman)

goldilocks's avatar

anytime! Its a huge confidence boost!

Kay's avatar

@delirium: Ack! That’s so hilarious and mortifying.

LunaFemme's avatar

Echoing most of the above sentiments, here. I always LOVE a compliment (especially since I just had my 40th birthday and they don’t happen like they used to.) And as I said before the creepy factor, for me, is an energy /vibe thingie that I can’t really explain.

Bottom line—compliments good / weird creepy inappropriate behavior…bad.

PS—My husband gets a kick out of guys hitting on me in front of him. I think he feels it’s a compliment to him that he has such a HOT wife. (And yes, I buy HIM presents every time he declares that publicly)

susanc's avatar

And the edge where “flattering” becomes “creepy”?
Is this intuitive?
I have a 73 year old husband who is quite handsome and has a beautiful speaking voice.
He’s not at ALL creepy but he’s observant and when he tells a young thing that she’s
beautiful or whatever, it’s love she’s getting, not creepiness. He’s just a clean guy.
No one, NO ONE, has ever been confused by him. How to account for this?

Allie's avatar

susanc: Sometimes you can tell because he hovers around a moment too long, or smiles a bit too much. But I think it is mostly intuition – a gut feeling. Some men just send off creepy vibes.

susanc's avatar

That’s what I think too, Allie. We can feel it. So the answer to stevenb’s original
question is, you can compliment a woman any time you want if you know how not
to give her what the child safety educators call “that uh-oh feeling”. Great. Let’s
hear it for uncreepy appreciations.

Allie's avatar

Way to sum it all up, susanc! One great answer point to you.

susanc's avatar

Great answer point to Allie for being willing to award an answer point to
a summarizer.

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