Social Question

seazen's avatar

Would you like to attempt a rhyme?

Asked by seazen (6113points) March 4th, 2011

I have always like rhymes, I know I’ve said this many times.

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you ‘cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
—that is until I met your brother.

6. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

7. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Care to try it yourself?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

126 Answers

6rant6's avatar

My darling, my honey, my soul mate, my lover
You freeze off my ass when you hog all the cover.

6rant6's avatar

My love for you will brook no delay,
We can have sex while my wife is away.

6rant6's avatar

There’s just no denying you’re the hottest of chicks
But all of my lovers are required to have dicks.

6rant6's avatar

You’re the image of Lady Godiva I swear,
In the way that you whine you’ve got nothing to wear.

6rant6's avatar

Watching you sleep on your side I am torn
Shall I play on the X-Box or go search for porn?

6rant6's avatar

As much as I love you, my brown eyed beauty
I still prefer women who’ve got a nice booty

6rant6's avatar

A love like ours will never decay
If you and your sister give me a threeway

6rant6's avatar

Is this thing on?

SavoirFaire's avatar

I can stare at my love hour after hour;
But I dare not breathe for she will not shower.

sliceswiththings's avatar

Ha this is the worst time for Fluther for those of us in PST, people around the world are either sleeping or working! Since I’m also still awake, I might as well try one:

Your eyes, so deep, have their own blue language
But please focus them on making my sandwich.

(Eh, a bit of a rhyme stretch.)

Jenniehowell's avatar

My love for you is as deep as the ocean and the purest of the pure
and I hope it lasts longer than your stamina endures

JmacOroni's avatar

I only slept for an hour, so I don’t have anything creative.. but these are hilarious.

Prosb's avatar

You know you’re the only girl, the one of my life
However I didn’t mean it this way, with you holding that knife

Blueroses's avatar

For you, I’d swim oceans and keep sharks at bay
Yes, nothing will stop me from getting away.

seazen's avatar

Your lips, your hair, your breasts so compelling.
But all I can think about is Jeruba’s spelling.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Our bodies were moving in perfect rhythm.
Now everything’s covered in sticky jism.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Your rapturous voice makes me quiver,
But your pheromones smell like fried liver.

@6rant6, if I ever start that alternative line of greeting cards, I know who to hire as a verse writer!!!

janbb's avatar

The lovin’ was great and I wasn’t fakin’
But now that you’re gone, I get all the bacon.

Austinlad's avatar

Love was grand, and worth the try
But hard its end, and black the eye.

BarnacleBill's avatar

This question has me thinking of Tom Lehrer

shego's avatar

I love the way you smile,
But your breath is bad and vile.

shego's avatar

I told you your eyes look like the stars,
But really, you belong behind bars.

marinelife's avatar

You, my love, have an amazing smile
But so many teeth make me run a mile.

There’s love in your eyes
But not with those thighs!

6rant6's avatar

Our first night together I won’t soon forget
Because sleeping with you, I won a huge bet

6rant6's avatar

Your eyes are so deep, and your hair is so shiny
But you need to work on the shape of your heiny

seazen's avatar

Though I’ve contributed many questions to the fluther nation,
I fear this one is simply a floccinaucinihilipilification.

6rant6's avatar

A lovers’ kiss as we say good adieu
So I can go home and screw my husband too.

6rant6's avatar

Our role play romantic was just what I needed
To see just how far your IQ has receded.

ucme's avatar

My darling wife, you’re as beautiful & serene as Venus
guess where this one’s going, right?
I weep with joy when your arse flashes up & down on my p…......oh now come on! ;¬}

6rant6's avatar

My darling your man’s touch on my woman’s thigh
Has helped me to know that I’m gay and not bi.

6rant6's avatar

The list of the things that I love about you
Starts with money and curiously it ends there too

6rant6's avatar

A love is like a tapestry brought from a place old
In places it’s worn almost through and smells of dirt and mold.

6rant6's avatar

You tell me now your every want, and I’ll fulfill them stat
But first I have to ask you if you want some fries with that.

6rant6's avatar

It’s not so much the way you look but how you do strip tease
That makes me think you probably have some neurologic disease

6rant6's avatar

I found that you were on my mine when I awoke from resting
And your image, you should know, has ruined my digesting

6rant6's avatar

Omigod. The typos. I guess I’m not fully awake. Writing is rewriting. Unfortunately.

filmfann's avatar

Your lips are so sweet, your kisses like honey
It’s hard to recall how I wed for your money

filmfann's avatar

My love for you hungers, while down on my knees
In part cause your thighs look like cottage cheese.

filmfann's avatar

(sans poetry, this reminds me of the old Groucho Marx line “I can imagine you in our home bending over a hot stove, but I can’t see the stove).

filmfann's avatar

In you I found loving, you not just a tease
In me you found multiple social disease

LuckyGuy's avatar

Quickly now! Our love must not wait.
Tomorrow I’ll be without a prostate.

6rant6's avatar

I wish each moment we have shared I’d captured on recorder
How simple then it’d be to get a quick restraining order

6rant6's avatar

Of all the women I have loved I find you most exotic
It’s half because you’re such a perv and half that you’re psychotic.

BarnacleBill's avatar

You’re handsome, you’re virile, you’re a real sweet-talker,
Too late she discovered you’re a serial stalker.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Quick! liquor her up and take the leap,
Before she wakes and discovers she’s slept with the creep

lemming's avatar

I think your so gorgeous, so sexy and fine,
No only messing, it’s just for the rhyme.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Self edited.

lemming's avatar

When I look in your eyes I see all the angels and heaven,
Oh hang on just a sec, it’s probably Kevin.

filmfann's avatar

You make me horny like no other
With the possible exception of mother

SavoirFaire's avatar

Your face is radiant with feminine charms,
But nothing makes up for your masculine arms.

seazen's avatar

La la la: To all the girls I’ve loved before
Not including that little whore.

filmfann's avatar

Your voice is soothing with each inflection
Did you know you have a yeast infection?

seazen's avatar

Your skin so smooth, your shape like Venus;
Now please let go of my penis.

Blueroses's avatar

When I told you our loving was worth any risk;
I’d no idea how you’d use that wire whisk.

Blueroses's avatar

I told you I loved you before you got laid
But I’m holding you hostage until I get paid.

Blueroses's avatar

My lover, there’s naught that could e’er come between us
Eeek! It’s a worm! OMG, that’s your penis?

aprilsimnel's avatar

Sweetheart, darling, honey pie,
Your kick in my crotch just made me cry.

seazen's avatar

Your body lithe, tight, smooth – heaven;
Too bad you’re only eleven.

Hey – fuck off; I could’ve said seven.

Blueroses's avatar

but like Spinal Tap’s amp, @seazen goes to 11. That’s true class.

seazen's avatar

In fluther @Blueroses I knew you’d go far;
But why’d you go and change your avatar?

Blueroses's avatar

He who gave me the old avatar likes “11”
thought I’d best get Christ’s mom if I want to see heaven XD

flutherother's avatar

You are lovely on the inside there is no doubt
Would you please let me turn you inside out?

flutherother's avatar

Your teeth are like pearls and they shine out so white
From the jar by our bed where you keep them at night.

flutherother's avatar

Your breasts feel so shapely and nice in my hands
I would never have guessed they were silicon glands.

Blueroses's avatar

You swore endless love as we stood ‘top Niagra
I didn’t know then, it required Viagra

flutherother's avatar

Your hair and your eye looked so lovely and your leg was so shapely as well
I’m surprised all these parts are detachable and I promise I never will tell.

flutherother's avatar

I saw you in the distance and you looked just like a dream
But when you got up closer I could not repress a scream.

flutherother's avatar

You are lithe you are pretty you are charming as can be
Expected at the ripe old age of going on 93.

Blueroses's avatar

There’s no limit in harvest that our love will yield
So I cut off your dick and tossed it in a field.
ode to Lorena Bobbit
ok. stop me now

lemming's avatar

You’re the bee in my bonnet, the fluff on my chick,
Now hand me a bucket before I get sick.

6rant6's avatar

Our wild reckless lovemaking – boom, bang, crash!
Has left me with bruises and this gnarly rash.

6rant6's avatar

Nothing could ever come between us,
Except a man with a bigger penis.

6rant6's avatar

In the throes of passion, my name you did shout.
Now be a man and take the garbage out.

6rant6's avatar

The two of us have become one
miserable couple. What have we done!

6rant6's avatar

I can’t wait to make love to you again
We can watch TV until Viagra kicks in.

sliceswiththings's avatar

The love we make, so passionate and deep
Is all my dreams, the real thing puts me to sleep.

sliceswiththings's avatar

With you, I swear my whole body hums
Oh wait, it’s my stomach, go grab the Tums!

sliceswiththings's avatar

I thought that it would grow when it swelled.
Is it still in? I really can’t tell.

sliceswiththings's avatar

You look so cool with your alligator skin shoes
What? You’re barefoot? Well then, you lose.

shego's avatar

I would love to eat you on a dish
But your vagina really smells like fish

LuckyGuy's avatar

Your pulse quickens. The sex is great.
I wish you wouldn’t masturbate.

shego's avatar

I love to play with your banana,
But I told you to keep it away from Anna

shego's avatar

I enjoyed our time in Oaxaca
But you look just like Chewbacca

SavoirFaire's avatar

To my darling wife, whom I’ll always adore:
Guess how I found out your sister’s a whore?

AmWiser's avatar

I love your smile, your face and your eyes
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

Bluefreedom's avatar

Your beauty, your manner, your elegant grace,
Was improved by the truck that ran over your face.

6rant6's avatar

Your breasts so lovely in me arouse
A new respect for dairy cows.

AmWiser's avatar

I’m anticipating the feel of your sweet embrace
but please don’t take that paper bag off your face.

6rant6's avatar

I’m sure that love will make us happy
Me with your mom and you with my pappy.

filmfann's avatar

You are my foundation, my rock, my anchor
And the probable cause of my penile canker

Blueroses's avatar

“For you, my sweet mistress, I’ll do anything!” you said.
Then saw I had your wallet… and you… chained to the bed!

Blueroses's avatar

I adored how it felt when I fondled your breasties
Imagine my shock when I came to your testes

seazen's avatar

They are all good but @flutherother really made me guffaw:

Your teeth are like pearls and they shine out so white
From the jar by our bed where you keep them at night.

Thanks everyone for making me laugh. What a great thread, eh?!

sliceswiththings's avatar

Inspired by @filmfann:

I’ll give you all things, my sweet tortilla
In fact, I just gave you my gonorrhea.

seazen's avatar

You gave me flowers, a rose and a daisy
You gave me genital warts that itch like crazy.

sliceswiththings's avatar

Course now I’m going to wake up to “gonorrhea rhyme” in my search bar :)

Your skin must be smooth beneath your shirt and your slacks
But I won’t know for sure until you go get a wax!

6rant6's avatar

My lover fine it’s you I’m thanking
for giving me that fearsome spanking.

6rant6's avatar

Life without you I couldn’t stand
My favorite partner, my right hand.

shego's avatar

Your skin reminds me of a rose
But damn, you got some ugly toes!

BarnacleBill's avatar

Men may make passes at girls who wear glasses,
But not if they’re sporting double-wide asses.

harple's avatar

slightly off topic but couldn’t resist…

5K lurve and you’re still here?
Hurry, @seazen: disappear!!

seazen's avatar

@harple This time it’s til 10k. Thanks.

janbb's avatar

@seazen Really? We may get to hold a bar mitzvah party for you?

flutherother's avatar

With your curves and your sparkle you give me such bliss
It’s my bottle of Glen Morangie and I’m going on the piss.

janbb's avatar

@flutherother On the same theme:

You are so delightful, my heart’s in a whirl,
Not a real woman, it’s St. Pauli Girl.

flutherother's avatar

My wife you’ll never see no more, her darling name was Mabel
I dissolved her in an acid bath and drank her under the table.

6rant6's avatar

I’d cross the desert for the sight of you
Dying of dehydration too.

6rant6's avatar

My mind’s made up, it’s you I want
On Halloween, my house to haunt.

6rant6's avatar

Your body ripe, your feminine mounds
Could stand to lose about thirty pounds.

6rant6's avatar

I love how you smile and the way that you dance
I’d love you still more if you’d get big implants.

6rant6's avatar

I’ve loved you in the morning, I’ve loved you night and noon
Now I learn that you got loved as much by my platoon.

6rant6's avatar

Our nuptial bed inviting, just like what I’ve read
That is until I climbed on top and you seemed you were dead

6rant6's avatar

Champagne lead to romance and things only we’ll know
But it’s disturbing to wake and find a dwarf on your pillow.

seazen's avatar

You’re outgoing, friendly, you smile – you beam,
But did you have to go do the whole football team?

filmfann's avatar

You’re picturesque, and Reubenesque. Vivacious, full of grace
But I can’t hear the radio when you sit on my face!

seazen's avatar

Bluroses is sexy, sweet and a dear;
What a shame that I’m a queer.

Blueroses's avatar

Ah @seazen what’s not to lurve about those lines? Story of my life.

That magical night when we danced until dawn
and I wanted to kiss but you went home with Sean.

seazen's avatar

This Sean?

Cuz Sean Young’s a real nutjob babe.

Blueroses's avatar

more this Sean
Same thing.

seazen's avatar

Same temperament; different genital development.

MilkyWay's avatar

10 dimes,for 10 limes,...hear those chimes?
ooops,did i just talk in rhymes? yeh,i do that sometimes….

6rant6's avatar

Making love to you is magical and wonderous!
But we are going to have to clean the tablecloth that’s under us.

just so we can see what the OP meant.

flutherother's avatar

All wrinkled and creased your pink night dress hung down
But when I put on the light you weren’t wearing your gown

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther