Suffering from severe panic disorder and derealization disorder. Can anybody relate?

Hey people, heres a brief summary of my story. Im a 27 yr old male, who suffers from a severe panic disorder, derealization disorder for the past 11 years, ocd, and Im beginning to get agoraphobia. I know the main reasons why i have all these disorders for the most part, when i was younger ive been through alot of psychological and physical trauma. In my teenage years i smoked weed a little bit, (one of my biggest regrets) tried e pills a couple times (another one of my biggest regrets), and drank alcohol alot. The weed and pills are definitely the main reason for all this i believe, cause the reactions i used to get off of these were never like what my friends were feeling. Mine were always terrible and scary. It was hell and i dont really want to get into that but im pretty sure i am like this because all those things from when i was younger.

My main concern is that Im having a baby boy soon, he’s due in a couple of months and Im terrified that I wont be able to be the best father i can be because of all these disorders. Im a barber and have been in the same barbershop since I was 16, my clientele book is big, so Im crazy busy and stressed all the time. Ive never ever had panic attacks at the job but since the holidays Ive been getting the worst panic attacks ever throughout the day and certain clients are starting to become my triggers for the attacks, also attacks when its really busy. So lately I have been cutting hair out of my house cause Im afraid to go back to work. I cant go back to my psychologist anymore cause shes far from me and I have panic attacks as Im driving (keep thinking Im going to pass out for some reason). So I only drive within my comfort zone. Unless im with somebody im ok. She keeps telling me to get on medicine but Im really trying not too as Im afraid of any drug form. I had a bad attack the other night and went to the ER, the doctor prescribed me zoloft but i never took it. Yesterday i just found out what derealization and dp was, and Ive had it for years, so it just became normal to me, I never really researched it. I know the dr and dp sometimes make me have panic attacks because things look funny and hazy all the times, people who have it know what Im talking about. No one understands me even the doctors. All i can do is keep praying that i get better.

But Im sorry for talking your ears off, I really just dont know what to do anymore. Will this DR DP stuff ever go away? and If anybody has children and are sufferers any advice would be appreciated. I was going buy a house and a barbershop this summer, but thats not gonna happen and Im having a child. Should be happy but instead Im the saddest ive ever been, always stressed out and feel so lost and alone.

Also I quit drinking months ago, no drugs in years, quit smoking cigarettes last year. And two weeks ago I cut out all caffeine and sugar and began eating really healthy, exercise daily and I have been getting pretty good sleep and I feel all my disorders are getting worse in the past month???