Social Question

MilkyWay's avatar

Why is it that some women/girls are attracted to older guys?

Asked by MilkyWay (13695points) March 7th, 2011

And why, in some places, is this seen as weird and unusual?
What do you think?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

39 Answers

etignotasanimum's avatar

Well, from my limited understanding of psychology, women are attracted to men who are older (but not like Rolling Stones old) because they are more likely to stick around and help take care of the children that could potentially come from the relationship, because they are more mature/well versed in the ways of the world, blah blah blah. That is, they are more likely to do so than a younger male who might to find an alternative mate. So, from an evolutionary/psychological standpoint, this is more beneficial for the woman.

That being said, I’m not interested in dating an older guy, but have no explanation for it.

Lightlyseared's avatar

Older guys tend to have more money.

Seelix's avatar

I’m sure you’ve heard of the idea of girls maturing faster than boys. Older men are more apt to be mature, stable, and all that good stuff. Some women take that to the extreme, dating men who are a lot older, but it seems to work well when a man is 5 years or so older than a woman. My parents are 5 years apart, and a lot of my friends’ parents are, as well.

marinelife's avatar

Why are some younger guys attracted to older women?

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, anyone?

There’s no way to generalize.

Carly's avatar

Older guys aren’t as annoying. aka, they’re usually more mature, have more self-discipline, and have experienced more in life, which usually makes them more interesting. imo

cak's avatar

@marinelife GA

I had the biggest crush on Paul Newman. Those eyes. Wow.

How older are you talking?

MilkyWay's avatar

UM, about 5 to 8 years older.No more, no less. : )

cak's avatar

@queenie: Without falling into the generalizing of younger women liking older men; it’s probably the fact that they tend to be a bit more mature. Stability and maturity goes far in a lot of people’s eyes. Either male or female.

LuckyGuy's avatar

More money? Better job? Bigger car?
They last longer?

wundayatta's avatar

The stars.

cak's avatar

I have to mention something to the money answers. Now, my husband and I are only 6 months apart and I’m older. (no biggie) I have always made more many than he does and have no issues with it at all. When I was single and dating someone older than me, by 6 years, again…I made more. Not all of us are after the money.

MilkyWay's avatar

@cak exactly what I was thinking,,, though there are deffo some women out there whose sole purpose for liking a guy,, is his money…

BLITsZ's avatar

Because older guys are usually muscular!!!

cak's avatar

@queenie – very true. I just really don’t care. I guess I was taught not to depend on someone else. Also, a divorce and being flat broke reinforced that reality.

Stefaniebby's avatar

I always dated older guys, I think my reasons were maturity, dependability, and just the idea of the relationship in itself.

Now I realized all those guys are stupid and can’t maintain a relationship. Currently my boyfriend of over a year is 6 months younger than me. :x ;)

perspicacious's avatar

I don’t think there one answer for this. We are all different, and we are attracted to who we are attracted to. I have read that women who grew up without a Dad in their lives often prefer older men. I don’t know that to be true.

blueiiznh's avatar

A Father figure is certainly another possibility for some of it.

More are past the game playing, immature, self centered, real asshole, pompous phase?

Replaced hopefully with wisdom, sophistication, better dressed, better career, more patience, and deep blue eyes for @cak to enjoy

Austinlad's avatar

Because it’s such a challenge to fix us.

cak's avatar

@blueiiznh Okay, I’m starting to look like your stalker today.

Your answer does explain a lot, too. Something about, “_more are past the game playing, immature…” Absolutely.

blueiiznh's avatar

@cak you are far from the stalker point. However, I did just go lock my doors and put a lock on the rabbit cage.

cak's avatar

I would never boil a rabbit. However, if your phone rings…check the caller id. Make sure it isn’t your own number.

blueiiznh's avatar

i will refrain from making any leg crossing comments. opps….

cak's avatar

@blueiiznh Yeah. Nooooope. Not me. Anyway, I think the caution-orange cast would throw that off. And me out of the chair.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Only 5 to 8 years older @queenie? That would (in general) mean the male would be closer to having equal emotional maturity/intelligence to their female counterpart.

I’m about a year & a half older than my husband and he has a syndrome that causes a lower EQ (emotional intelligence) than the rest of the population…luckily his IQ is quite high, otherwise this wouldn’t be the best match for me.

MacBean's avatar

I’m not sure why and I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’ve been consistently attracted to men who are about twice my age since I was 13. I’m in my late 20s but I feel like an absolute creeper when I’m attracted to men who aren’t at least ten years older than me. I almost wish I could say I have Daddy issues and write it off as explained, but my relationship with my dad is probably the most healthy and pleasant aspect of my life, so… I have no idea.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@MacBean Intelligence & maturity? You seem quite intellectual to me.

mrrich724's avatar

Elektra complex?

ETpro's avatar

@queenie Because, “The Lord my God is a merciful God…”

CaptainHarley's avatar

Because older guys are kewl! : D

Brian1946's avatar

Perhaps some younger women misunderstand what a sexagenarian is. ;-)

FYI, I and the last two posters above me fit the aforementioned description. ;-)

ETpro's avatar

@Brian1946 I think the three of is put the “Sex” in “sexagenarian”.

CaptainHarley's avatar

LMAO! “Old Dudes” RULE! : D

blueiiznh's avatar

Another potential thought….
They are also more approachable and at first bluss outside what a younger is really thinking of or looking for.
So a conversation is unassuming and has no alternative motive, comfort sets in.
Once in a comfort phase attraction sets in because you realize that respect you for who you are inside and out.
Just my two cents.

picante's avatar

Older men have a patina that is either brilliant from the experiences they’ve had or craftily painted as a means of self-preservation (and deceit). Usually a combination of the two. And women have something similar, so I don’t want to be tarred and feathered for any perceived male-bashing here.

I’ve seen “money” mentioned a couple times above. That’s another aspect of the patina—the outward signs of money and/or the assumption of acquired wealth might be dead wrong.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I was attracted to my boyfriend (who is quite a lot older than me) because he has a great sense of humour, is compassionate, has a level of maturity that I haven’t witnessed in guys my own age, is intelligent and has knowledge based on life experience which I can’t help but find incredibly sexy and he makes me feel very special. I also find him very, very attractive physically.

Some of the things I have listed here have nothing to do with age (you don’t have to be older to be compassionate, for example) but all of these things together are what make me attracted to him and some are affected by age (life experience).

I don’t care if other people think that my relationship is weird just because he happens to be a lot older than me. That’s their problem.

mattbrowne's avatar

Evolutionary psychology and selfish genes:

Men looking for healthy women capable of bearing healthy offspring.

Women looking for powerful men capable of good support when raising the offspring.

WasCy's avatar

57 is the new 27. I’m just sayin’ is all.

ETpro's avatar

@WasCy My birthday was yestreday. 67 is now the new 27. :-)

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