Social Question

Jude's avatar

What do you think it means (if anything) that a woman gets along better with guys than they do girls?

Asked by Jude (32134points) March 9th, 2011

I resemble that remark.

I dress femme, yet, I am not interested in fashion (“femme, but, no more than 10 purses!”). I am emotional and freely share my emotions.

I just find that guys take less work. I don’t do catty.

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42 Answers

WasCy's avatar

Eh, who doesn’t get along better with guys than with women? Men are a whole lot simpler and less complicated.

Put it this way: Would you find it easier to deal with the mechanics of an oxcart or a Ferrari?

Oh, yeah, but which one would you rather drive?

picante's avatar

Jude, I think it means you haven’t experienced a large population of uncomplicated women. Come on over, and I’ll introduce you to some ;-)

In the universe of my acquaintances, friends, lovers and everything in between, I come out about even. I find that some men are very high maintenance and some women are just plain fun. To me, the perfect person (irrespective of gender) is one who is very open, not afraid to share intimate feelings, capable of having intimate feelings, capable of nurturing the intimate feelings of others, honest (but not brutally so), able to live without pretense, able to take pleasure in simple things, able to paint and work toward a vision of the future, able to take pleasure in the accomplishments of others, able to celebrate his/her own successes.

I could go on—but I have found these qualities in both men and women; and I’ve found them lacking in both men and women. I appreciate WasCy’s analogy, and I’m glad I sit on the Ferrari side of the equation.

It’s easy for me to see why some women cling to the “catty” role, as we’re absolutely saturated with that stereotype in the media. I rather look away these days and choose to seek out/maintain relationships that defy that stereotype.

Coloma's avatar

I’d say that everyones motives and likes/dislikes are subjective.
However, I have known quite a few women that prefer men over women because they are attention seeking and prefer male ‘friends’ to assist them with their female ‘helplessness’ and be their adoring fans.

I have always truly loved my female friends and have never had issues with jealousy or competitiveness.

I DO take issue with extremely insecure women that feel the ‘need’ for constant male attention and validation. Gah!

Taciturnu's avatar

I think it’s waay more common than you would think.

I actually think it means that you don’t like the stereotypical traits of women- obsessing over nails, acting like a bimbo or putting on a facade to the world, trash talking when people aren’t around, etc.

I don’t like them either. I tend to get along with men better, too… However, when women are real and down to earth, I get along fine with them. Sometimes they’re even a friend.

@WasCy LOL!!!

tedd's avatar

Most of the girls I know get along better with guys than girls…. its because girls are competitive and dramatic against one another typically.

Jude's avatar

“However, I have known quite a few women that prefer men over women because they are attention seeking and prefer male ‘friends’ to assist them with their female ‘helplessness’ and be their adoring fans.”

That is SO not me. I don’t need/nor want the attention.

I date women.

Aesthetic_Mess's avatar

I get along better with guys too, but some girls who also get along better with guys are friends of mine, and we had a good group going.
Women are too dramatic for me, and I don’t have a lot of girly interests like shopping for clothes and makeup. Absolutely have no interest in fashion.
I don’t think it really means anything.

P.S. what’s with these italics?

Coloma's avatar

@WasCy

LOL, well…guess it’s easier to tow an Ox with a ring in its nose than a Ferrari.

Jude's avatar

@Coloma Read my last statement.

MilkyWay's avatar

It’s exactly the same story over here…. I guess when women are together they are just naturally bitchy towards each other…. though, that’s not always the case…

Coloma's avatar

@Jude

Of course. Nothing personal.
I am not generalizing, but, for every woman that is down to earth and prefers hanging around with guys, there are 20 that are motivated by insecurity and the need for an audience for their attention seeking behaviors.

snowberry's avatar

My oldest spent far more time with boys than with girls. She says she’s always gotten along better with guys (she is now age 30). I don’t blame her for hating the drama queen scene.

Jude's avatar

I don’t get along with catty girly girls who are afraid to get dirty and like to shop for purses, but I get along with cool, laid-back chics who are down to earth and like to have fun. I’d have to say for the most part, I can’t stand egomaniacs, pretentious people, super anal-retentive and uptight people, people who don’t take initiative or responsibility for themselves, and/or frequently bitchy people. Men or women.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Coloma I am not generalizing, but, for every woman that is down to earth and prefers hanging around with guys, there are 20 that are motivated by insecurity and the need for an audience for their attention seeking behaviors.

I have to disagree with that statement. Being one of those girls that gets along better with guys, I tend to get along better with the other girls that get along better with guys. None of them were attention seekers. In fact, they are the exact opposite.

marinelife's avatar

I have men and women friends that I love equally.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I have very good girlfriends ,but one of my oldest and best friends is a man.I imitate Louie Armstrong and he still talks to me.That says alot. ;)
I like people that are straightforward and funny….male or female.

Coloma's avatar

@jonsblond

Maybe it’s a generational thing, I am 51 and in my observations this is much more true in the 40+ plus crowd, where traditional/rigid gender roles were still strong.
My daughter is 23 and had many male friends for the reasons others have mentioned. But..I have seen, countless times, many insecure women that ‘use’ men as ego props and play the ‘helpless me’ card.

KatawaGrey's avatar

I started making friends with chiefly boys in high school because it was boys who were playing Magic and that was really the only thing I had enough gumption to do in high school. This just kind of stuck through college because most of my free time is spent playing Magic and doing other things that only boys like to do.

I don’t realize how much I missing being around girls until I have the occasional lunch or outing with a bunch of female friends. My god. I am missing so much. I love my male friends and my boyfriend, but I recently realized that I really need regular contact with only women to keep my happiness and sanity.

Scooby's avatar

I find it’s a fifty – fifty thing for me, some people curve my interest towards them more than others, male, female, gay or straight. I tend to get on with most people but they have to respond to me…… you might be the greatest person in the world but the only way I’d ever be able to find out, is if we communicated with each other.. I must admit though that I myself can be a little reluctant to be open with some people, those people that prompt certain feelings of miss trust, I can be very sceptical some times of peoples motives :-/ you just know when you know about people sometimes, funny feelings in the pit of your stomach, Instinct. Makes me appear to be standoffish……..
I have a girlfriend much the same as you, she finds women’s company just annoying but then again she’s quite the tom boy, still married with kids & she comes out with the lads on a regular basis, with her husband of course who’s also my good friend…..I think it’s just the girly girls she just doesn’t approve of, all make up & no knickers…… :-/
I think you just get along better with guys than you do girls…… don’t worry about it :-/

Lightlyseared's avatar

It means you’re a girl who gets on better with guys. No more, no less.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I see gendere stereotypes are alive and well.

I don’t think it means anything. Why are all the men in your life exactly the same? Are the women?

blueiiznh's avatar

It simply means you prefer the company of them. You find more interest in sharing time and possibly activities.
There may be some underlying things like your family of origin influence, trust, etc.
Enjoy what you enjoy!

Jude's avatar

That’s just the way that it is, Simone. The men are more laid back (like myself).

Not stereotyping. Just going by my own experience.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Jude It’s a feedback loop. They’ve always been expected to be more laid back so they’re laid back. I’m not upset about it. I get along more with queer people, let’s say, rather than straight people.

Jude's avatar

I get what you are saying, Simone.

bob_'s avatar

Who likes a drama queen?

wundayatta's avatar

Meaning, as you know, is whatever you make of it. What does it mean that a woman gets along better with guys? I think it means that the people she likes happen to be guys. I don’t think it really means anything. I’m sure some people might think that she’s a slut or something. Maybe a fag hag. Or maybe it means that she likes the quality of attention she gets from guys compared to girls.

There is always a possibility of sexual tension if you are friends with someone of your sexual preference. That means that the attention and admiration you get is different than if there is no sexual interest at all. In my experience, that adds the element of flirtation to a friendship. And the flirtation can occur in any context (wherever you happen to be). People who do not have a possibility of any sexual interest with a friend, tend not to flirt.

That flirtation business surely is not operative in all opposite sex friendships. But I think it’s often there. It’s a kind of teasing that has an edge, hinting of possibilities, even where none exist. Non-sexual teasing is very different. I think it can get much meaner. Teasing between people who could be sexually interested in each other is more light, less vicious, because you have to make nice.

I think these friendships have a different dynamic than other kinds of friendships. I think it’s more flirty than most other kinds of friendships, and it’s probably also gentler, since there may be less compeition.

sliceswiththings's avatar

My grandma is one of these. At 84, she insists that women only want to talk about fashion and men, but men want to talk about opera, books, and politics. That’s why she prefers the company of men!

tranquilsea's avatar

anyone else having issues with comments from @everephebe‘s on being italicized?

I gravitate to people who are true to who they are be they male or female. I find I get along with men, generally, better than women BUT most of my friends are women.

tranquilsea's avatar

scratch that it looks like the whole site is italicized now

everephebe's avatar

@tranquilsea It’s not my fault I swear! :D As much as I’d want to be the “infamous fluther hacker of italics,” I don’t have the skill… that’s more up the alley of my big brother’s skills. But he wouldn’t harm fluther, ever! :D

tranquilsea's avatar

@everephebe reeaaally? I’ve suspected you are some kind of hacker for a while now mewhaha

augustlan's avatar

[mod says] It was @everephebe‘s initial post that caused the wonky formatting. Something about an open html code. I ended up having to delete the answer entirely to fix it. Sorry about that @everephebe! For the record, this was his answer:
——————————————————————————————————————————-
It means you get along better with guys than you do girls.

Growing up did you have brothers? Or were you close with your Dad? Could just be that.

@WasCy Ferrari. Does that mean I want to drive a woman?

augustlan's avatar

Also, I generally get along better with men than with women. I’m one of those women who is ‘one of the guys’.

tranquilsea's avatar

@augustlan lol that it actually was her.

everephebe's avatar

WHAT? @augustlan you’re joking? No way! You mean @tranquilsea was actually being accurate? Oh… that’s too bizarre! I said this not knowing the problem had anything to do with html.

Wait? Am I being gullible here? I’m shocked, shocked to find that there is gambling in this establishment.

@tranquilsea you were completely vindicated. This has been a strange day on fluther for me.

tranquilsea's avatar

@everephebe I could say that I’m not used to being right but then I would be lying <evil grin>.

augustlan's avatar

@tranquilsea Psst. I think @everephebe is a him.

@everephebe I could not for the life of me figure out how to fix whatever had gone wrong. Sorry I had to delete your whole answer! This has actually happened a few times before, so at least you’re not alone in breaking Fluther.

cak's avatar

I have a pretty equal amount of male and female friends, but probably tend to get along with the men a little easier. I relate to them easier, because of my upbringing. I think. I had a lot of male cousins and loved hanging around them, any chance I got.

I do know that the male friends I have I tend to have a main thing in common with them, something that not all of my female friends enjoy. Sports. I love sports. I’ve played many sports, in fact, it’s what got me through college. There isn’t a time during the year when I’m not following sports.

You just enjoy the company you enjoy. Just my theory.

everephebe's avatar

@augustlan ”..so at least you’re not alone in breaking Fluther.”

Oh… that’s a knife to my heart. Sorry. Yikes, it’s been a hellva day.
P.S. Everephebe, does not comment (yet) on matters of their gender, at least very much. :D Does my name give it away at all?

ninjacolin's avatar

I think every feature of a person is caused by something or somethings in the past. So, I would be interested in knowing things like:

How many sibilings do you have? Were you oldest, youngest, middle?
What genders are your siblings?
Which siblings did you spend the most time with growing up?
As for friends: what genders did you associate with mostly up til age 7? How about between 8–12. And 13 – 18?

My guess would be that you hung out with boys a lot growing up or perhaps a group of girls gave you a hard time in school and you found solace with boys. Or maybe you only had brothers or perhaps you only grew up with a dad.

Somehow I would figure this feature was caused.

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