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Mtl_zack's avatar

Have your parents given you "the talk"?

Asked by Mtl_zack (6765points) April 16th, 2008

im 18 and i guess they thought i would learn it naturally, or through the school system. did your dad or mom give it to you, or did they hire someone to do it (i know someone who did this to his kids)? maybe it was an uncle or aunt?

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24 Answers

Randy's avatar

I never had it, but I still learned. It makes for an awkward scerno when this is talked about between parent and child. Its strange for both parties. Kids will find out one way or another.

Fallstand's avatar

Nopee.. and I’m glad..It wasn’t that hard to figure out in the first place

ppcakes's avatar

my brother and his best friend basically gave me the talk.

delirium's avatar

My parents have always been very open and to the point. They and I agree that acting like sex is this unspeakable thing is very negative. They weren’t creepily open about it, but they answered questions when I asked them and explained protection. They asked me to wait to have sex until I was 18, and I did, out of respect for them.

I actually learned most of what I do from books, and accidentally coming across Kinsey in the psychology section (in my house, not in the library) and reading it.

iCeskate's avatar

no but mom wold rarely try to bring up “body changing” conversations

peedub's avatar

No. I think he knew I had my own sources of information.

Riser's avatar

I was molested when I was four, knew I was “different” when I was 12, replaced the “different” with “gay” four years later, then, for good measure and religious animosity, I came out again at 18.

in other words:

Had to walk before the talk

iCeskate's avatar

@riser so you are or aren’t gay? I got lost

Mtl_zack's avatar

@randy: ya i know what you mean. its always awkward when i try to talk to them about sex.
come to think of it, i never have talked to my parents about it. i guess i never needed to and now i dont know where to start. any suggestions?

jrpowell's avatar

My mom was confident that I couldn’t get my Nintendo pregnant so she never gave me the “talk.” By the time it was a concern I was old enough to know what was going on. The talk wasn’t really needed.

Riser's avatar

iCeskate: I came out to my parents when I was 16, however I was in a Christian home (something I have no resentment toward and still respect) and my parents encouraged me to go to Christian counselors and attend “ex-gay” meetings and revivals. After two years I finally admitted I was uninterested in being “fixed” and officially came out, this time more comfortable with my decision, I am now happily engaged to a wonderful guy.

Sorry for the confusion.

Breefield's avatar

@Riser, It’s nice to know the back story.

My parents gave it to me around…6th grade I suppose.

lovelyy's avatar

my parents never gave me “the talk” I guess since both my siblings were pregnant by seventeen they thought I just already knew the consequences. .

wildflower's avatar

I don’t think they ever did. I recall my mum reminding me to be careful, but that’s about it.

BirdlegLeft's avatar

I had various “talks,” all of which were probably a little late in the game, but appreciated because I knew I was free to talk.

On the other hand, my wife and I have already started the dialogue with our two boys(aged 8 and 10). We in fact started years ago. We talk about protection, responsibility, life-styles, masturbation, and whatever else may come up. I’d rather they be informed before they need to know so they hopefully make “good” decisions.

Sloane2024's avatar

My mom gave it 2 me. She’s always been incredibley open with me about anything sexual I want 2 know. She said she’d rather tell it 2 me herself than have me learn about it from an alternate source.

deepseas72's avatar

Yep. Thirty one years ago.

iceblu's avatar

nope, no talk to me, i think they knew i learned at a young age, considering i was 14, i think they might have thought they had more time…

lifeflame's avatar

My parents left around a really great book on the bookshelf. I can’t remember the name but I remember it being extremely informative, helpful and had really happy sketches.

It was only much later – after the fact that I obviously knew – that my mother and I could talk about sex. One thing I’ve noticed is that my mother prefers to use English, rather than Cantonese (our mother tongue) to talk about these things / anything related to our private parts. So for example she will say a sentence in Cantonese, and use the English word, “period” (as in menstruation) and continue her sentence.

I’ve never talked directly about sex (as in, in the personal, rather than in the general) with my father. Which, when I think about it, is rather bizarre.

wildflower's avatar

I don’t think that’s bizarre…....I’ve never even talked about sex in general with my dad. But then, maybe it’s a cultural thing, we are cold, emotionally reserved Nordics…...

lifeflame's avatar

I mean, culturally, given that we are Chinese, I’m sure normal that fathers don’t talk with their daughters about it. But when I think about how close my father and I are in so many ways, and how fundamental sex is, I do think it is odd that it never comes up/we leave it as a completely private thing.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

It was really silly for me… My mom bought me the “body changing” books around middle school (a little bit late, seeing as I was pretty developed before sixth grade started, which may make my username make more sense), but never really had a sex talk with me. In high school, however, I was dating a guy long distance and I went on a college visiting trip with my dad, seeing my boyfriend two weekends in a row. In between the two weekends, in a lull in conversation, my dad asked me if I had any questions (I didn’t have the heart or nerve to tell him that I had had sex just a few days prior), but I just declined and moved on quickly. The next time I went to see him, I was staying in a hotel in his town for a few days. Before I left, I was grocery shopping with my mom and she very awkwardly asked me not to bring him into my hotel room when I was there. I agreed, but we essentially spent the whole weekend there. So I never really got a talk, nor am I sure that my parents know I’m not a virgin. My hunch is that my dad suspects, but doesn’t want to know, and my mom doesnt really know, or is in severe denial.

derektherock42's avatar

I can’t remember if my parents gave me the talk… It doesn’t really make a difference, does it? You’ll figure it out eventually anyway.

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