Would you rather be hated for being who you are or loved for acting like someone you are not?

Oy.

But I can give you more lurve now so GQ.

As a general rule, I’d rather be hated for who I am. In practice, however, it’s a little more complicated. For one, it might not be worth being ourselves in some respects when around certain people. I have plenty of friends who don’t discuss religion—or even let on that they are atheists—around their parents. It’s simply not worth the fight for them. For another, “who we are” is somewhat relative. Our “selves” are at least partially created and defined by our interactions. So we might, in some sense, be one person with our mothers and another person with our spouses. This isn’t necessarily a character flaw, however, as it may simply refelct an understanding of the fact that those are two different relationships.

Generally I chose to go the path of most resistance as many around me do not think as I do. Therefore I am disliked or at least judged for standing up for what I believe in. I remind myself that at least I put my actions where my opinions and my mouth are, while those debating or ranting as it usually is are sitting on their asses doing nothing to create a difference.

I would rather be hated for being who I am for sure. I am not good at pretending. It feels wrong and insincere and like selling myself out. In saying that, I think we all conform to varying degrees and that’s how we manage to exist together and be productive members of society. There are certain norms and values we are required to adjust to. I would not want to be so ‘out there’ that I could not fit into society.

I yam what I yam. I don’t care whether you love me or hate me.

Oooooo. This is hard. I’d say generally that I live my life honestly and my actions are true to my moral compass. But I do want to be loved—I do care about that. I don’t want to be hated.

I’m relieved that I don’t have to wrestle with this on any grand scale. Boy, if I had to choose, if it truly got down to that, I suppose I’d try finding those environments and relationships where I could feel some respect without too much pretense. Your question certainly made me think—for that I send you some lurve.

The latter. (of your detail options, not the q)

Thank you @SavoirFaire for saying that it isn’t and either or proposition. Being loved and respected is very important to most people and sometimes, certain things just aren’t worth the fight (and loss of love and respect). Other things absolutely are. I think most people are open and honest with some people and completely hiding stuff from other people. And that’s ok. There has to be some kind of balance (for everyone) to continue to receive love and respect on one hand and risk being shunned by society on the other hand.

I don’t know. I’ve never fit anyone’s mold but my own and that mold has changed over the years until it fits me like my skin. People who like me, like me. Those who don’t usually stay away from me. I try to get along with people and don’t worry about it.