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wundayatta's avatar

What are the top three things you want to know about a person when you first meet them?

Asked by wundayatta (58638points) March 16th, 2011

Do you want to know different things depending on whether this is a person you are interested in, but not for a Relationship, or if you are interviewing someone as a prospective Relationship partner? Why are these issues of such concern to you?

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11 Answers

Cruiser's avatar

Are they funny, smart and confident about themselves. People who aren’t funny or at least kinda smart are boring and people who are not confident will rely on you to help, assist or bolster their insecurities….major drain on your mental resources.

Coloma's avatar

Do they have integrity?
Which takes time to be revealed

I’ll parrot @Cruiser with the next two, humor and confidence.

Yes, no insecure types….gah, please take the pillow off of my face. lol

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

If he is funny, if he’s outgoing, and if he can be a gentleman.

bunnygrl's avatar

Whether I’d like this person to be a friend or something more (if i wasn’t already attached, which I am but theoretically speaking) the three things I’d want to know, I couldn’t possibly know from a single meeting. Only experience of travelling through life a little ways with this person will tell me these things. Life would be so much easier and less painful if we could all gain the answers to the questions I’d like answered on a first meeting with a new person…..
1…. can I trust this person?
2. ...Will this person ever hurt me?
3…..is this person damaged? (because this damage may well lead to him/her damaging others, albeit without meaning to)

This last one may sound cold, but speaking as a damaged person myself, and seeing how my limitations affect my husband, who I’d happily die for in a heartbeat (except of course that would hurt him the most) life is too short and too full of hurt to go looking for it.
@wundayatta this is a GQ, thank you honey <hugs> xx

jca's avatar

I took this question to mean more of the types of questions we may be curious about like “where do you live?” or “what do you do for a living?”

as far as if a person is trustworthy or not, will they hurt me or not, are they funny or confident, I think those things can only really be found out by knowing someone, not something you can ask and get a magical answer.

bunnygrl's avatar

@jca thats exactly what I said honey, and if you read @wundayatta‘s wonderful question, it asks what we’d WANT to know, not what we can ask re “where do you live?” Read the question again sweetheart, then re-read my answer :-)
huggles xx

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Integrity, where I stand with them, how they treat others.

Cupcake's avatar

unspecific answer to follow

Most things that I care about in others are based on their actions – not words, so I would want to listen to them enough to see if their words and actions match.

Also, I think it is valuable to find out what someone wants others to know about them. This gives clues about their priorities and their ego.

tianalovesyou's avatar

integrity, humor, and confidence (;

Earthgirl's avatar

I am answering this from an idealistic standpoint. It would be rare to find out all these things on a first meeting but these are the things I would want to know.
What kind of childhood did the person have?
What drives them right now?
What is it they want to get out of life? Do they even know?

Charles's avatar

Credit Rating
Net Personal Debt
Criminal record

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