Social Question

Dutchess_III's avatar

Have you ever been in a situation where someone thought they were being polite, but in reality were creating a cluster of confusion and frustration?

Asked by Dutchess_III (39824points) March 19th, 2011

Example: Our stop light downtown was on the blink the other day. Literally. The one facing Main street was blinking yellow, which means use caution. The one facing the intersecting street, 14th, was flashing red. That means stop. It’s not rocket science.
Well…I don’t know why but some random people on Main took it upon themselves to STOP at the flashing yellow, to let people on 14th have their turn. Fine and dandy, except it’s a four lane. If you’re turning left and one person stops, you have three other lanes of traffic that may, or may not stop. The “nice” person is motioning for you to go on….and there is traffic coming!
It’s the same thing at stop signs. Someone will reach a stop sign a few seconds before you, but then just sit there and wave you through,when you’re turning left in front of them. Which leads to a stop-start kind of situation since nobody knows for sure anymore what the other person is thinking.

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9 Answers

silent4geeta's avatar

yes this happens all the time with a few family members lol they are way too nice and end up creating a problem at the end all they say is” i am really sorry if this was my fault is there anything i can do to help ” please dont lol

Coloma's avatar

Yes, I have a friend right now that I am having to ‘manage’ for some manipulative behaviors.
She’s the type that ‘offers’ something and then has a hidden agenda. Adds to an agreement without asking, makes sure she squeezes out every bit of the ‘favor’ in her favor.

Manipulation by niceness is real. lol

funkdaddy's avatar

“What do you feel like eating?”
“Ohhh I don’t know, what do you feel like eating?”
“Ohhh, you know me, I’m easy, what sounds good to you and we’ll go there”
“No no no, you pick”

marinelife's avatar

I hate that. I also hate it when people go out of order at a four-way stop or wave someone else ahead.

It is not polite; it is foolish. That’s what rules of the road are for.

optimisticpessimist's avatar

When people reach a 4 way stop at the same time, I realize the person on the right has the right of way. However, many people seem confused by this so I will wave someone through so they will go ahead of me instead of hit me.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@optimisticpessimist You can see that situation developing a long way off. I judge where everyone is in relation to me, then either slow down so that I’m obviously the last one there, or speed up so that I’m the first one there, then go before they’ve stopped all the way.

optimisticpessimist's avatar

@Dutchess_III That really depends upon the four way stop. You cannot see two of the directions until you are within spitting distance at this particular intersection. Trees and business block the view. I have also seen people stop ten feet shy of the line to ensure they were stopped first. Is that really technically stopping at the intersection? I do not think so, but I let them have the right of way because they obviously want it badly.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I like being in control because no one else seems to know what they’re doing. They’re too busy talking on the phone.

Aster's avatar

People are getting killed with those blinking yellow lights if that’s relevant. To me, it IS rocket science! I want it simple!

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