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ImNotHere's avatar

How can I stop my clumsiness from destroying my relationship?

Asked by ImNotHere (444points) March 19th, 2011

Hello Fluther:

I’ve been seeing someone for a few months on and off who likes to keep a lot of precious things around his apartment. I’m talking specifically about expensive electronics.

This is fine except for the fact that I am an uber klutz despite how hard I try to keep it under control! The other night I accidentally bumped his monitor with something and knocked out two pixels. I was mortified and had to apologize profusely to him.

This has been kind of a bone of contention between us and I’ve been trying to be better about it. This is the first dating relationship it’s affected but it’s also damaged me in the past via embarrassment and injuries. Does anyone have some experience with this? How have some of you effectively “trained” yourself out of clumsiness?

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12 Answers

incendiary_dan's avatar

Maybe try exercises/activities that focus on fine motor skills and being aware of how your body moves. It might help develop kinesthetic intelligence.

Edit: Maybe Tai Chi?

Seelix's avatar

I don’t have any advice for you, but I can tell you that Mr. Fiance has destroyed some of my most precious things. He’s broken an antique glass canister that belonged to one dead grandmother, and destroyed the vinyl upholstery on a chair belonging to another dead grandmother. I can’t even remember what else he’s ruined. There are certain things in the house that he is not allowed to touch. Ever.

BarnacleBill's avatar

@incendiary_dan, GA. Tai Chi will improve your balance and body control. Until then, when you go to his place, head immediately for someplace where you can be stationary.

blueiiznh's avatar

I would find it endearing!. Don’t sweat it. Be who you are. Shine in who you are and all you are.

chyna's avatar

Perhaps some dance classes will give you more poise and balance. I personally think it’s kinda cute when someone is a clutz.

ImNotHere's avatar

Yeah I’ve thought about taking up dance or yoga again. (Though I cringe at the embarrassment that would entail.) It’s funny too because in certain ways I am coordinated. At 6ft tall, I’m confident surfing NYC subways in high heels when there’s no available bars to hang on to. I used to waitress too and after a while, I wasn’t half bad at it. But I find that the clumsiness manifests itself in weird ways. I randomly bump into things lately and I just feel like an oaf. :(

ETpro's avatar

I may be off base in this, but I’m going to speak up because it’s worth considering just in case I happen to be right. It concerns me that your klutziness has become a bone of contention. All of us occasionally break things, and there really aren’t many people who are true klutzes. Those who are typically are suffering from some motion control or balance disorder and it is unfair to blame and berate them for something they truly can’t control.

The fact that your beau is on your case about breaking things and you are buying it runs up a red flag in my mind. You may be on the cusp of getting involved in an abusive relationship with a controlling person who assumes a stance of superiority and convinces you that his anger is all your fault. If you even think there may be some truth to this, beware. Things will only go downhill as the relationship matures.

creative1's avatar

Does is sometimes come out in situations where you aren’t as confident as others? Sometimes confidence helps alot.

faye's avatar

I’m kutzy if I’m nervous. Does he makes you feel nervous and clumsy? I second the tai chi, to make you very aware of your body’s movements.

longtresses's avatar

@blueiiznh Clumsiness is probably cute for a month…

There have been studies out there regarding compatible traits that sustain a long-term relationship. One of the traits include manual, or motor, dexterity. If the guy is the kind of guy who screws his toothpaste cap straight but the girl isn’t, then more likely than not her absent-mindedness will get on his nerves while she will find him @nal. If she’s the agile one, she will tire of babysitting him while he will resent her fastidiousness.

I think yoga, dance, or exercises that improve coordination will help immensely. More than that, I think you could be more attentive to the physicality of your body—since clumsiness is a result of the disconnect between thoughts and the body. For example, you can constantly monitor your body position, how you carry yourself, the way your hand moves, or how your body navigates through space, etc.

blueiiznh's avatar

@longtresses I said endearing, not cute. A bit of a difference.
I do concur with all the other wonderful suggestions to help that have been made.

chyna's avatar

@longtresses I’m the one that said it was kinda cute.

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