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nir17's avatar

Is talking to your ex ever more than you can bear?

Asked by nir17 (371points) March 19th, 2011

I haven’t talked to him in a week. Tonight I went out, and the simplest thing triggered a spiral into a memory that was entirely about my ex ex of four months. Do you ever find yourself in a situation in which you can’t forget about someone who meant so much to you and you can’t forget?

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13 Answers

kheredia's avatar

4 months isn’t long enough to get over someone. You have to give it time. I dated a guy on and off for a couple of years and it took me over a year to completely get over him. Now I’m about to get married with someone else and I find myself thinking about my ex only briefly when I see or hear something that reminds me of him but it doesn’t hurt anymore. Time heals every wound. You just have to move on and let life happen.

Randy's avatar

YES! But, not talking to her sometimes is just as bad. Both for different reasons.

creative1's avatar

They say you need as long as you dated someone to get over someone but I don’t always find that is true. I think you just need to give yourself time to grieve the loss of your relationship and you will have those times where you will miss the other person who meant so much to you at that point in your life. But as time goes on you will find that you will miss that person less and less and eventually they will not even come to mind or if they do it will be briefly and it will no longer bring you any pain.

TexasDude's avatar

Talking to them sends me into a spiral of memories, but I don’t think this is a bad thing. I love these kinds of feelings. As a writer, I feed off of nostalgia and feelings like that.

I’m also very close to every one of my exes. This all came full circle yesterday when I went on an 8 mile AT hike with my first ex, the one I’ve known for ten years and who I haven’t talked to or heard from in four. We hit it off just like we did before we dated when we were best friends.

In short, talking to my exes does flood me with memories, but it also makes me very happy.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

My only ex is a girl that I dated when I was 14. I have spoken to her a handful of times since, and she currently lives at the extreme opposite end of the country. It isn’t a problem for me. We’ve both moved on.

punkrockworld's avatar

Oh yes.. all the time. It definitely is hard to let go of someone you used to care for because you will always have that love for them.
You won’t get over it until you find someone else. The hardest part for me when me and my ex broke up was to talk to other guys. It is very hard because the smallest things remind me of him. It’s crazy!

Cruiser's avatar

Yes….especially when it is fresh and raw in my mind it was very tough not to think about everything laid bare by the exit strategy.

CaptainHarley's avatar

I have given up trying to block memories of my ex-wife from my mind. I just let them run their course, enjoying the memories of happy moments, tinged with melancholy. She is still the mother of my children, and deserves respect for having helped raise them so well.

Seelix's avatar

I have a hard time whenever I happen to see or talk to my ex. We broke up almost 10 years ago, but it was such a powerful (for lack of a better word) relationship and such an emotionally wrenching breakup that I still feel weird thinking about him. Don’t worry about it – it does get better with time.

CaptainHarley's avatar


I know how that feels. Every time I go back to NC to visit my children and grandchildren, I have to steel myself for when I run into my ex-wife. It’s not because I still love her ( I don’t, although I do care about what happens to her ), it’s because of all those years (36 ) and all we went through together. It’s impossible to carve out all those experiences and feelings, so you have to develop ways of coping with them. It’s not easy.

MilkyWay's avatar

HELL YES….it’s torturous.

CaptainHarley's avatar

36 years of my life… gone. : ((

Sher_King's avatar

I broke up with my ex last december. It was a long distance relationship even though we visted eachother quite often. Every goodbye was a complete emotional disaster which is why we cut it off. I loved him. It was super intense. I had relationships that lasted a lot longer than this one. But somehow, just somehow a little part of me cant get over him. Sometimes we talk… and it hurts. He’s gotton so cold towards me. As if he never knew me. I guess he’s just really good at moving on. And thats also something i cant get over. But like everyone here is saying…time heals all wounds :)

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