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justneedanswers's avatar

How should I deal with my aggressive and hostile father?

Asked by justneedanswers (11points) March 21st, 2011

Me and my brother, both have stress. Reason being ,our father. He acts impulsively and at times he hits me. I have this strong feeling now that there is some mental problem with him because this is what has happened with him also in his childhood. I have lived with fear, more than respect or love for him since my birth. And this really frustrates me now because I cant find ways to part. What tactics should I use to handle such behavior of my dad?

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15 Answers

MilkyWay's avatar

Hey,so sorry this is happening to you…trust me I know.
It’s sad how many parents don’t realise just how big an effect their unruly behaviour can have on their kids,,,sometimes they don’t even care.
If you want, I could give you some advice as I have been in A VERY similiar situation.
Just PM me : )

marinelife's avatar

How old are you? Are you old enough to leave home?

tinyfaery's avatar

Are there any relatives you can go to about this.

stump's avatar

Find someone to talk to, like a teacher or guidance counselor. They will help you take legal action to remove either your father, or you from the house, so the abuse can’t continue.

janbb's avatar

Find an adult to talk to; keep looking if the first one isn’t helpful. You should not have to tolerate this.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Again, how old are you? I hate it when some random stranger comes on, posts a question like this, and we never see them again…

john65pennington's avatar

I told some other person the same thing I am about to tell you.

As a juvenile, you have rights, just like adults. I am not familiar with your age. You have a right to call the police, when you feel your life is threatened or you are intimidated, without just cause, from your dad.

I say this based on your words that his father had a mental problem and maybe it has passed to your dad.

You may be correct. The only way to help yourself and your dad is to call the police and let your dad be psychologically evaluated. I am also saying this for your safety.

justneedanswers's avatar

First, thanks all for showing concern.
I am a major and my college schedule doesnt permit me to work.
2ndly, when my brother tried to stay at 1 of our relatives home due to some reason, my dad burst out at them and the relations went a little sour.
I repeat I fear of him and thats the reason I am not able to take a major step.
A very tactical person, he knows enough startegies. Its a kind of “do or die” situation for me.
And so I want you all to help me figure out ways so I can deal with such situation srtategically, if arises again.
Please help me!

augustlan's avatar

If your father is hitting you, you need to report this to someone. If you’re an adult, call the police. If you’re under 18 and in school, report it to a counselor or another adult you trust. Please, please get the help you and your brother need.

marinelife's avatar

You need to report your father to the police. Get a restraining order against him.

I really think that you need to move far away from him.

Dutchess_III's avatar

What do you mean you’re a “major?” And are you in college? If so, then you are old enough to get the hell out. You may need to go to work full time, get your own little place, and finish your studies part time, and have your brother move in with you. How old is your brother? Is he old enough to bring in some sort of income to help?

And I agree with @marinelife…move as far away as possible.

Where is your mother in all of this?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Also, you’re asking for “strategies,” but not clarifying exactly what the war is beyond vague, random abuse.

janbb's avatar

@Dutchess_III I think it’s a “major” as opposed to a “minor.”

Dutchess_III's avatar

I’m still confused any way!

Redhelper's avatar

I have read your messages and the responses of others to this problem – and It IS a problem.
You MUST get over the fear of informing someone – I have had to do the same thing myself – so i am writing from 1st hand experience. I know the thought of Involving the police is daunting, however, they are incredibly understanding and will ask you what YOU want to happen. They WILL protect you and please DO NOT fear your fathers reaction. The truth is, he will continue to act and behave the way he does anyway – by reporting the problem they can not only get YOU help but also get help for your DAD (he will benefit from this – not suffer) – You MUST be strong, for you and your brother…you do not want this to effect you more than it already has OR have a negative effect on the behaviour you and your brother take forward into later life. It is a POSITIVE move to report the problem…it is your ONLY move. Be Strong, be Brave and do the right thing. Good Luck!

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