Social Question

silent4geeta's avatar

Ever had to choose between boyfriend/girlfriend and best friend ?

Asked by silent4geeta (93points) March 25th, 2011

I don’t think anyone should be given a choice in relationship if its an honest one between your close friends and your love relationship. What you think ?

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6 Answers

JmacOroni's avatar

I agree, for the most part. You shouldn’t have to choose. Someone that loves you shouldn’t ask you to choose.
There are common circumstances that result in this, though. Is your friend jealous of your relationship? Realistically, could you be making a really bad decision in your relationship?

At one point, in the past, I walked away from my best friend after her (3rd) abusive boyfriend consistently tried to pit her against me. He knew that I wasn’t tolerant of his behavior, and he made it his goal to get me out of the picture. She continually fell for his crap, so I ended up getting so fed up that I walked away. I couldn’t stand to watch her do this to herself anymore. Doesn’t mean that I didn’t honestly love her, actually it meant just the opposite.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

I had a friend feel I was neglecting our friendship by spending too much time with my girlfriend. I soon realised it was a destructive friendship (long story), and eventually had to end it. My girlfriend and I have now been together two and a half years.

If you ever have to choose, one or both of them have unrealistic expectations of you. Get rid of the right one, and it just might be the best thing you ever do.

marinelife's avatar

I have never had to choose, but that is because I have supported my friends when they made bad choices in mates. It is their life, after all.

Seelix's avatar

As others have said, you shouldn’t ever have to choose. If someone loves you, be it a best friend or a boy/girlfriend, they won’t make you choose. I guess it comes down to who knows you better and whose judgement you trust more. If my best friend of 22 years disliked my partner, I’d take a serious look at my relationship. She’s been my best friend for years for a reason.

john65pennington's avatar

I grabbed the bull by its horns and grabbed my now wife from the crowd and married her.

There was no question about the action I should have taken.

Chosing was not an option for me. My now wife came first before my friends old and new.

After we married, we both made new friends and that is a happy ending.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

A lover should never ask you to choose between them and a friendship. I once dated a man who demanded I spend all my time with him and got angry when I spent time with my best friend. That best friend ended up “accidentally” setting me up with my husband, and they are great friends also. I have to pass messages back and forth between them, while I’m on the phone with her, and they both crack me up.

A true love will not ask you to give up a friend.

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