My mom is constently in a snappy crabby mood. How can I deal with her snappyness(with lack of a better word)

Just stay away from her and do what she says! I know exactly how you feel. There’s almost nothing you can do. Try doing things without being told and do your part. Don’t be messy, don’t act up. And doing something nice for her could help a bit. Just be understanding. She’s probably going through something bad right now.

Try to find when she is at her least crabby (first thing in the morning?). Ask her to sit down and talk with you. Perhaps buy her her favorite food treat and offer that to her.

Try some general conversation first about what’s going on in your life. Then when you’ve shared some, ask if there is anything she wants to tell you, because you have noticed that she seems short tempered lately.

See how she responds.

Write her an note and tell ther that you’re sorry she under a lot of stress, that you love her and you know she doesn’t mean to hurt your feelings by snapping at you.

Ask her what specifically you can do to help her be less stressed. It may be something like making sure the house isn’t a mess when she comes home from work, and that you give her enough notice when you need to go somewhere or need something. My youngest used to be really bad about bombarding me with needing to go places or get school supplies right away for something that she forgot. She started e-mailing me at work when she got home from school, so I knew before I left work that there were errands to run. That helped. I also did a lot better if there weren’t lots of kids at the house when I got home, and if the living room and kitchen were tidy. It made a huge difference in my mood. Not that I don’t like her friends; I liked having them at the house. Just not when I got home from work, to the stereo cranked up, and 8 kids eating in the kitchen.

Parents often have to face a lot of things in their lives that are totally beyond their control: the state of the general economy and how it affects their jobs, their bosses and their attitudes, their clients, taxes, spouses (whether present or not, or whether current or not), and other things. The fact that you didn’t say “she’s snappy and crabby to me because of X or Y or Z” means that she’s at least doing a good job of shielding you from her major concerns (outside of your upbringing), but that, at least, is something that she may feel that she can control and has to control pretty tightly so that it doesn’t get out of control. (You know how some kids can.) Obviously, if the rest of her plate is full, she can’t afford to have you get pregnant, get an STD, fail classes in school, join a gang, yada yada. So she may be attempting to control you too tightly, or at least too tightly for your comfort, and maybe more than is necessary.

She probably won’t want to tell you about some of the big things on her plate if she’s kept them from you this long. She doesn’t want you to take on her worry over things that she’s already having trouble with.

Show her that you’re on her side in small ways. Yeah, the note is nice, and the offer of various gifts probably won’t hurt, but you don’t need her to think that you’re trying to put something over on her or trying to cover something up. Definitely do tell her what’s going on in your life – at appropriate times, and not when she’s dealing with a million other things, or mad about something else. Just be clear with her what the rules are, and maybe (in a non-confrontational way, if you disagree with some of the rules) why the rules have to be ‘just so’, and then not only meet her expectations for you, but exceed them.

Take a look around the house right now, for example, and see something that needs doing, and then do that thing. Does the trash need to be taken out? Laundry done? Groceries put away? Dishwasher loaded or emptied? Living room straightened out or vacuumed? (You would not believe what a stress-reliever it is for a mother to come home after work, for example, to find the house picked up, your homework done, and the smell of a well-cooked dinner coming out of the kitchen. Or to wake up on a Saturday morning to the smell of coffee already made, a clean kitchen, and waffles.)

Get her on your side in small ways, and she’ll be more apt to take your side later when it’s a toss-up which way she’ll decide a thing. And if she knows that she doesn’t have to worry about you toeing the line, then she’ll be able to handle some of her other concerns better, too.

Give her a flower she likes without saying a word. If she is really deep down inside a mom, that will ease your problem if not take care of it totally.

I would approach her and ask her to talk. If she says yes, use a lot of “I” statements to describe the way she is making you feel and the way she has been acting. “I feel like I can’t talk to you anymore.” or “I feel like there is a change between our relationship that really bothers me”. These statements are more easily understood by the listener and will help her understand how you feel without feeling so guilty or blamed for your upset. This is preferred over the “you” statements such as “you have been so mean lately”. These will get her even more snippity. Maybe she needs to talk about something as well. Try to find the source of why she is so snippity, and maybe it will stop.

You should keep your mother in prayer. Try to be their for your mother even if she is not in a good mood. Try to help your mother around the house. Try to keep a good attitude. Maybe do something nice for your mother. (Make a cake or get her some flowers or give her a nice card. You could always tell her you love her even if she is not in a good mood. Will keep you in prayer.

The first thing to recognize is she’s no less human than you. If this is a recent change in her behavior, something must have triggered it. Adults have lots of stresses to deal with and often keep them to themselves, not wanting to concern their children with things the child can’t control anyway. You could tell her that she seems stressed out and peevish as of late, and ask her what’s wrong in a way that suggests you want to understand and help, not condemn her for her actions.

But the most important thing to realize is that in this life, the only person you can really control is you. You can’t remake your mom’s personality, and even if she shares here burdens with you, there may be little to nothing you can do to help her bear them. But you can change what you do to trigger her dark moods and how you react to them when they come. When she criticizes, think about what you did to provoke the criticism. If it’s something you can avoid, do so. Even if it seems unfair, as long as she isn’t asking you to do things that are wrong or harmful to you, changing behavior is worth it to keep the peace in the family. And if she criticizes for things that are completely out of your control, just recognize that it’s her way of dealing with whatever stress she is under and don’t let it get you down.

Good luck, and I hope her mood brightens soon.