Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Is there anything you restrict your spouse, mate, lover, etc. from wearing when you are not with them?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26829points) April 4th, 2011

When my (b/f, g/f, husband, wife) is out alone (he/she) is not allowed to wear A, B, C, P and Q, and certainly not X? Not limited to clothing, can be a sent, jewelry, type of makeup etc.

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34 Answers

optimisticpessimist's avatar

Nope. No restrictions by me for him or for me by him.

zenvelo's avatar

No. She can wear what ever she wants. No one has the right to impose such a restriction on a partner.

GracieT's avatar

My husband is 45, and was choosing his own clothes for 23 or so years before he met me. He was doing just fine on his own before me, and because of our relationship he takes my feelings into account when he chooses what to wear.

josie's avatar

No way to impose such a restriction without an eventual negative consequence. Attempts to control other people, be they SO’s or taxpayers, will eventually blow up in the controller’s face, one way or the other.

atomicmonkey's avatar

I think anyone who dictates what their partner should wear in their absence has issues. Like serious control-freak issues.

Having said that, I really hate it when my wife wears skirts or low cut blouses or lace-up shoes or anything that’s colored red, green or orange. In fact, I really prefer it when she stays indoors and has no contact with the outside world. Especially those friends and family of hers. They have no idea what’s best for her.

Lightlyseared's avatar

No. That’s bordering on emotional abuse and really not healthy for a relationship.

marinelife's avatar

No. I did suggest to my husband that he not wear a Hawaiian shirt to the banquet at his national convention a couple of weeks ago.

tedibear's avatar

Nope. He is always neatly and appropriately dressed for wherever he’s going, with or without me. And there’s nothing that he owns that would be flirtatious or sexual that would concern me.

deni's avatar

No, I can’t ever see this really being an actual problem unless the girl was an obvious hoochie.

Seelix's avatar

What? No, that’s ridiculous.

crisw's avatar


I have to ask- why are you asking this?

GoJessGo's avatar

I prefer he not wear the nipple clamps I gave him for Christmas, but other than that…all is well. :)

YARNLADY's avatar

Nope, even when he wears sweat pants to the grocery store. I have asked him to change clothes when we go out to dinner sometimes.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Yes, but he requests that I assist him. He would wear navy pants, with a black sweater, tan socks and brown shoes otherwise. :)

If he will be gone for business he insists I leave notes on what items to wear with what. Usually I pack, so the shoes/socks will go with anything in his suitcase.

Seelix's avatar

There’s a difference between helping a colour-blind man not look like he threw on the first thing he put on and actually forbidding him to wear certain things.

Plus, I think the “when you are not with them” part of the question is more important.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@crisw During a few conversations with people acquainted with and friends revolving around fashion some stressed there would be trouble if their man decided to go to the beach or a pool without them wearing Speedos or very snuggy boxer brief type trunks (providing they had the body for it) or out alone in a Latin styled silk shirt wearing “their sent” the body splash he only wears on their special night out, or guys saying the same trouble would insue is their woman decided while goin out with out them she was going to wear her snuggiest “painted on” skinny jeans, makeup she normally don’t wear, a tight top with plunging neckline, or a mini etc. One gal said her man would not let her out the house in any dress that was more than 5 fingers above the knee, and didn’t even like her wearing it when they were together.

That got me thinking you may not think you do, but everyone has something they just would not sit well with if their mate was out wearing it alone even if they know he/she would not have cheating on the mind.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

There is nothing I would object to, that my husband would wear out in public. Unless he were to walk out of the house butt naked, holding a cardboard sign that said, “I want sex”. I might have a problem with that.

Seelix's avatar

Honestly, there’s nothing that I’d have a problem with him wearing if I weren’t there. Nothing.

Maybe if we had special bedroom dress-up costumes or something, but really, anything he owns is okay to wear anywhere. (I mean, obviously I wouldn’t want him wearing just underwear or his bathrobe or the pants that shrunk up to above his ankles, but that’s totally different. That’s just a matter of what’s appropriate in society, not having anything to do with me.)

chyna's avatar

Speedos. They’re not for everyone.

downtide's avatar

No but if he’s going out with me, I insist that he at least wears something that’s clean.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No. When together though I like that he wears clean clothes and he likes me to not wear baggy clothes.

augustlan's avatar

Nope. I did suggest he not wear his favorite (read: holey, ripped, and raggedy) shirt out of the house anymore, though. ;)

tigerlilly2's avatar

No, it’s absurd. I was in an abusive relationship years ago and one of the things that sticks out vividly in my mind is how he would ridicule and belittle me for not ‘dressing up’ for him. He would say things like ‘when I’m around you need to look nice’ and if other males were present he expected me to dress like a nun.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@tigerlilly2: I had a man for 7yrs who would freak out if he thought I wasn’t going to put on a bra when company came and if we went out then his favorite saying to me was, “try not to dress like a villager, get dressed and be my queen”. What was at first quirky and light hearted morphed into nitpicking and belittling. erghs.

tigerlilly2's avatar

@Neizvestnaya I’m sorry you had to deal with that, it’s just ridiculous :(

Taciturnu's avatar

No, I wouldn’t forbid him from wearing anything, nor has he forbid me from wearing anything.

Actually, I lied a little. There was one tracksuit that I forbid him to wear, ever. It was cobalt blue, too big on him and read “CRACKER” in white letters outlined in navy blue on the chest. He bought it in Bulgaria without knowing what a “cracker” label means. Of course, my protests were a matter of his safety in public.

Haleth's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central It sounds like all those people revealed a lot of insecurity and jealousy. If they’re worried about their significant others showing too much skin, two obvious things spring to mind. They don’t trust the judgment of their significant other, or they are worried that their S.O. will purposely dress provocatively to get sexual attention.

If anyone distrusts their S.O.‘s judgment and discretion that much, it’s really not a healthy relationship. Likewise for needing to control an S.O.‘s sexual expression. If someone I dated “let” me do something or “didn’t allow” me to do something else, I would feel deeply uncomfortable and I would leave. That kind of controlling behavior doesn’t have a place in a relationship between two adults.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Yes. He has a sweater with a noticeable hole in it. I would prefer that he not wear it if he is going out, and offered to have it repaired or patched if he was that attached to it.

ucme's avatar

She can wear whatever she pleases, only I draw a firm line when it comes to my Jimmy Choos. Uh huh, no way pedro…..I mean Jose. Those babies are mine girlfriend, back off!!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

What? The word restrict isn’t in our world.

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