When it is acceptable, or even good, for a child to lie to their parent?

I think the answer depends on how old child is and what the circumstances are.

My kids lie and its not acceptable at all, I have my 10year old daughter standing here with my Im asking her why do you lie at times to your parents? Shes stuck…ummmm is all she can say, I’ll reply again when she comes up with an answer of her own. oh she has another answer I DONT KNOW. Thats the famous one.

Welp my daughter couldn’t answer but I did ask her if she lies? She responds quickly Yes. She is a good girl but at times with her brothers and sister she tends to point fingers THEY DID IT. awe kids gotta love them.

“I don’t know what mommy got you for your birthday (snicker giggle).”

Yeah, that is a perfectly OK lie.

@12Oaks What about lying about if they snuck a cookie? Or not telling you about all their friends?

Never.

@squirbel No matter what?

I agree with @JilltheTooth. I think the intent behind it is what really matters. Lying to hide a surprise party or a special gift is different from lying to hide a bad grade or in order to hurt the person. Saying ‘no I don’t know what you are getting for your birthday” can be much easier than dealing with the response when you say “yes I know, but I’m not telling”.

Ok, so what if the parent is abusive? What if the child is in late adolescence?

@MyNewtBoobs It would depend on the situation and the intent. Lying about getting a bad grade or getting in trouble at school will do nothing but delay the inevitable (unfortunately). If the parent is abusive, the child needs to let someone know so they can get the proper help. I know that is easier said than done, but lying to an abusive parent will only make things worse, even if the intent of the child is to protect itself.

@Seaofclouds In my experience, very few children who grow up in abusive families actually get help, even if they ask. How is it inevitable? Are you sure it would make things worse?

@MyNewtBoobs If the child lies about getting a bad grade, eventually the school is going to send home the test with the bad grade or their report card is going to show the bad grades. So, if they lied because they were afraid of the punishment they would receive at that time, they will just get it once the school sends the grades home (thus it would be delaying the inevitable punishment). I don’t see how lying to an abusive parent would not make things worse in the long run. I suppose it all depends on which issues set the abusive parent off. I’m sure many children don’t get the help they need, but that is a separate issue.

@MyNewtBoobs The cookies thing would be an unacceptable lie. Not telling me about all her friends? Not really sure what that means. If you’re asking if a lie of omission is acceptable, would say there is no easy blanket answer for that.

Though its never accepted when a child lie to his/her parents..but yes if there is something that you do not want to tel them, its better to keep the silence..