Social Question

AllAboutWaiting's avatar

When should you stop using a dating site after meeting someone?

Asked by AllAboutWaiting (377points) April 7th, 2011

When should you hide your profile on a dating site and stop hosting inquiries after you’ve met someone? Should you put everything on hold, anticipating a positive match? Should it be before or after the first date, or after many dates and sex? Is it necessary to discuss it with the other person? The other person met you there, and will know if you’re still available for others to contact. Will poor judgment at this point be cruel or ruin a good thing?

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14 Answers

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

You should stop posting your profile on a dating site as soon as your current “date” turns into a relationship.

marinelife's avatar

Once you and the date decide on an exclusive relationship, you should take down your profile.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Just dating someone is not sufficient grounds to stop looking. Getting into a bonafide relationship with someone means that if it’s not just for sex, you need to drop everything relating to “looking.” Failing to do so means you don’t truly love them, and will destroy the relationship.

AmWiser's avatar

If you’re serious about your new relationship, you should stop hosting inquiries now. If it doesn’t work out you can always resume posting.

bob_'s avatar

After the birth of the first masculine child ~

creative1's avatar

You both should discuss it together and agree upon the decision, if you are able to I would suggest just disabling it rather than canceling it altogether incase things done workout, you won’t have to start from square one again on having to re-build your profile.

tedd's avatar

I have maintained a profile on two dating sites for some time. One of them for nearly 6 years, the other for around 1. If you stop using them frequently you are typically labeled as a likely to not respond person, and people stop messaging you. You can also make them “hidden” so they don’t turn up in search results. I am currently dating a girl I met on one site, and both of our profiles are still up. We actually get a kick out of looking at some of our messages.

6rant6's avatar

Seems to me that “playing the field” often gets in the way of relationships getting serious. I’d advise erring on the side of delisting too quickly. You can always get back out in front of people.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

The day before the wife/hubby finds your profile on the site.

filmfann's avatar

It really depends on how you are using the dating site. If you are just trying to hook up, you’re fine. If you are worried about upsetting someone you met, be honest with them.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

When we stop going on dates, and start dating, I stop responding (but I don’t actually take it down, because I’m lazy like that).

SamIAm's avatar

When you feel like you should. I met someone who I was completely happy with just casually dating – I would still check the site but wouldn’t respond to people’s messages or send my own. The relationship turned out to not be anything and I was able to just start up again like normal. Maybe talk to the other person about it and see what they’re doing. If you wouldn’t want him/her to keep dating, you shouldn’t either but that doesn’t mean you need to delete or hide your profile.

nicobanks's avatar

I think you’re making things needlessly complicated for yourself.

You’re really just asking: When should a dating relationship become exclusive?

The answer is: As soon as you and the other party involved have agreed to be exclusive.

There’s no objective truth about when’s the right time to be exclusive. Some people aren’t comfortable dating more than one person at once; some people are. Some people aren’t comfortable having sex with someone when not in a committed relationship; some people are. Some people aren’t comfortable being in an “open” committed relationship; some people are. It’s all fine, assuming you’re being honest about what you want and how you feel (with the other person and with yourself).

If you want to put your online dating activity on hold while you decide if your current date is the one, that’s up to you. Just don’t assume the other person is doing the same thing, and don’t mislead the other person about what you’re doing.

If you want to keep your dating profile up while in a committed relationship, that’s up to you. Just don’t assume the other person is doing the same thing, and don’t mislead the other person about what you’re doing.

So on and so forth.

Bellatrix's avatar

I haven’t read all the previous responses but I think as soon as you decide there is hope for you and the person you met. When you think, “yeah, this could go somewhere” you should focus on making that happen.

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