Social Question

AllAboutWaiting's avatar

Do girls really like bad boys and what makes them bad?

Asked by AllAboutWaiting (377points) April 11th, 2011

Is it true that girls like bad boys? When I think of bad boys, I see dirty bikers with long dirty fingernails, long unkempt hair, dirty beard, hair in the nose and out the ears, dirty mouth with few teeth, old dirty cowboy boots, jean jacket (dirty) with the sleeves torn off and a dirty emblem on the back. I guess I could go on, but is this attractive? If this isn’t the bad boy they speak of, then is it the guy that is rude and abusive to everyone, doesn’t tip, lies cheats and steals and takes you for dinner at McDonalds? Who are these bad boys and what do they look like? What do you call the girls that like these bad boys?

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29 Answers

jlelandg's avatar

I would guess assholes, cheats, and pervs…but most every man is one of those at one time or another.

optimisticpessimist's avatar

I think both of your definitions of bad boy are a little skewed. However, the definition would be a little subjective anyway so I cannot give you a true definition of bad boy. I think it would have something to do with going against the grain of society. A preppy can be a bad boy but his actions would be going against his social norm. The bad part does imply that it is not done in a nice way.

Since I cannot give you a real definition of bad boy, I will try to help with the appeal part. I think the appeal of bad boys may come from:
1) Confidence – it takes a certain level of confidence to successfully pull off being a bad boy.
2) Rebellion – girls who like bad boys may want to rebel and either the bad boy helps or can be a vicarious source of rebellion.

JLeslie's avatar

Bad boys does not equal dirty, rough looking men always. It is more about the guy being an asshole. They tend to be men who walk around with a lot of confidence, have very outgoing personalities, and yes, tend to have a sort of edge. Might be they look a little rough, or have a really cool car, or ride a motorcycle, or wear really stylish clothing, but it can be almost anything. What makes them bad is they wind up being controlling, many times liars and cheaters, and very self centered.

I know men who ride motorcycles who are very sweet, loving men. You can’t completely stereotype these things.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@jlelandg Up yours. You probably got what you deserved.

LuckyGuy's avatar

And then they’re surprised when the guys dump/abuse/leave/cheat… them.
Nice guys make the best husbands. Most women figure that out eventually. Often, too late.

@Adirondackwannabe I’m getting all tingly. How’s that approach workin’?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@worriedguy Thanks, It’s too early on a Monday and lumping me in with the assholes pissed me off. I’ll mellow a little.

JLeslie's avatar

I think in school, it is usually more of a comment that the boys who are smart and less outgoing are ignored or overlooked. The nerds are usually thought to be not cool enough when we are young. The trick is when grown up, they are the cool ones. The women who never grow out of liking the “popular” boys who are really good looking and not very focused on education or career success usually wind up in crappy relationships. There are actually many men who are good looking, smart, and focused, but the good looking should not bebthe main thing.

I have two friends who if you ask them what do you look for in a man, one of their top 3 requirements is: good body, muscular. They have really crappy relationships generally. It’s not that men with good bodies cannot be great guys, it is that the women are not focusing on what will really matter long term.

roundsquare's avatar

My experience is that younger girls do like bad boys but as everyone ages that changes.

Bad boys show confidence which girls like. Nerds develops (and learn to show) confidence later on in life and are successful people.

FluffyChicken's avatar

It is scientifically proven that there is a “dark triad” of bad-boy behavior that attracts women: exploitation, thrill-seeking/callous behavior and self-obsession.

The article I read about it failed to mention why, but my suspicion is that it’s evolutionary psychology and those behaviors seem, to our primitive baby-making parts of our brains like survival behaviors.

Seelix's avatar

My bad boy was 5 years older than me; a high school dropout with an apartment downtown. Aside from that, he was one of the sweetest, kindest people I’ve ever known. But he was “bad” enough, being a punk rock guy with a leather jacket, that my parents disapproved of our relationship in the beginning. That was enough for me.

I think a lot of women (at least when they’re younger – late teens or early twenties) are intrigued by someone who’s not the “type” of which their parents approve. That’s a time when a lot of people are coming into their own, trying to forge their own identities, and dating a “bad boy” is one way of breaking out of the mold.

As a side note, I’ve actually been the “bad girl” before. When I was 20, I briefly dated a guy who was 17. His mom forbade him from seeing me, though she had never met me, based on my age and the fact that I had an apartment. (shrug)

LuckyGuy's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I interpreted it as you being a bad boy. I think most people did too. Jerk wad!
(I’ll let you know if I get any offers.)

JLeslie's avatar

I think part of it might be that when we are young the bad boys are fun and a break. A break from parents telling us what to do, from having to study, and also they are very good at making us feel pretty and wanted.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@JLeslie But it’s the nice guys who really mean it.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I was never much attracted to boys that couldn’t make smart choices.XD

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Some girls like bad boys. Some girls like nice boys. Some girls like Jedis. Girls can’t really be generalized – they’re all different. If they do like nice boys, they’re probably not the best girlfriend material, anyway.

JLeslie's avatar

@worriedguy They possibly both mean it. The bad boy might be more likely to be more forward about it, and he also might have a more temporary feeling about it, until he moves onto the next. Bad boys walk right up to women, flirt, and tell them how beautiful they are. They have a boldness, and self assuredness about them. We can call it confidence, but it is from a huge over inflated ego. Nice guys generally have a more stayed (not sure if stayed accurately describes it, I am very stressed this morning, vocabulary lacking) way of going about their approach. It is actually more respectful, they are waiting for the clues that indeed the woman is being receptive to their advances.

Aethelwine's avatar

The description of a bad boy the OP gave in the details in the best laugh I’ve had all week. too funny, haha

aprilsimnel's avatar

I don’t think your definition of “bad boy” is what most people mean when they say that about a guy, although there are women who’ll date men like that for whatever reason.

It’s the _confidence_the boy shows that certain women like, not the “bad” element. Self-proclaimed nice guys can be whiny and privileged and that turns girls off (e.g., “I’m a nice guy! Why won’t Angelina Jolie date me? She must be a shallow bitch!”)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@worriedguy Turns out I just proved @jlelandg was right. I was an asshole. He’s a guy. That’s what I get for assuming.
My apology jlelandg.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I didn’t get lucky either. I guess women don’t like bad boys after all. ;)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@worriedguy Maybe my bait is bad. I tried trolling along with my pants unzipped and didn’t get a single strike.

KatawaGrey's avatar

Has it ever occurred to anyone that maybe there is a certain type of guy who is attracted to those girls who like bad boys? I am so sick and tired of hearing men complain about how all women only like bad boys and assholes and blah blah blah. Yeah, some women like that but, guess what? The girls who like nice guys most of us have either settled down with nice guys thus taking ourselves out of the singles pool, or else they’re just not interested in a guy who whines about how all women like bad boys. Also, sometime men have a tendency to overlook the ladies who are interested in them. I can’t tell you how many times I was thrust unwillingly into the friend zone and had to listen to the boy I had a crush on tell me that all women sucked and no girls were interested in him while it was all I could do not to bust out crying because he had no interest in me. Right. Yeah. What a “nice guy.” And I’m the one who only likes assholes.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@KatawaGrey Not to mention that guys who whine about how girls like bad boys tend to refuse to take any responsibility for the failure of past relationships and failure to meet new women; it’s always her fault, not his.

KatawaGrey's avatar

@MyNewtBoobs: Exactly. This whole idea that no matter what, the woman is always to blame when she doesn’t want to date a Nice Guy just pisses me off. I am dating a genuinely nice guy who doesn’t get angry if I don’t want to have sex with him and recognizes that he has to do a fair amount of legwork for a relationship to work. Jeez.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@KatawaGrey Well, that’s because he’s a nice guy and not a Nice Guy.

chyna's avatar

I think @Adirondackwannabe and @worriedguy are both a little strange.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@chyna You’re looking in, I’m looking out. Be very afraid of what’s looking out.

Winters's avatar

Though yes there are many of those bad boys who act a bit more or less behaviorally sociopathic to an extent (the whole lack of care torwards everything but themselves which is expressed in different ways) because they simply are that asshole.

However there are almost just as many who pull off that facade as a protective measure for themselves and truthfully they do want a good relationship, but they’re just as scared that the girl they fall for may hurt them. This is normally due to a past trauma that has left some sort of lingering effect on their perception of attachment, bonding, boundaries, and “love.” These are the guys who, if they can truly come to trust someone, reveal that normally, they are really a batch of great guys, though that jerk demeanor may still somewhat remain, though more prankful than deliberately trying to hurt/manipulate someone.

@Adirondackwannabe I’m on the outside, and I’m looking in, I can see through you, see your true colors. lol

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