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Jude's avatar

The biggest decision that you've ever had to make was?

Asked by Jude (32112points) April 11th, 2011

How did you decide on what to do?

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26 Answers

Mariah's avatar

Whether to get my colon removed.

It ended up being kind of a no-brainer, though. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get through college and therefore move forward with my life without getting it done.

zenvelo's avatar

Moving out to get a divorce. The stress and the arguments had been building for a long time, and her violence and emotional abuse were escalating. I had even gotten back into therapy to discern what part I had in it and what was abusive. I rented a place to have in reserve. Then one Saturday she woke me at 6 in the morning to tell me to leave so she could get my daughter ready for an event undisturbed. That’s when I moved out.

JilltheTooth's avatar

To proceed with the fight against the system for the right to conceive KatawaGrey.

Cruiser's avatar

Buying the company I work for.

erichw1504's avatar

1st place goes to… marrying the love of my life.
How I decided: I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

2nd place does to… joining the military.
How I decided: I wasn’t doing too well in college and I thought it would be a great way to make me more of a man. It worked well.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Taking both my mother and father off of life support.

TexasDude's avatar

This is actually a hard question for me to answer. Nearly everything I do is on a whim. I’m super impulsive, but someone upstairs must be smiling down on me, because everything has always managed to fall into place for me.

Seelix's avatar

Great answers so far, all of you. Some of them really are tough decisions, while others are just big decisions. Regardless, though, good on you all for doing what you believed to be right.

Mine is more a big decision than a tough one, really. I had been accepted into a grad program at Middlebury which would have sent me to study at the University of Florence for a year. It would have been amazing, but the funding I had been counting on fell through. My parents told me that they’d either pay for that one year, or help me financially throughout my PhD. I figured that I can take some time to really immerse myself in Italy once I’m through with my PhD, so here I am in the T-dot rather than in Firenze.

janbb's avatar

!. Confronting my abuser
2. Leaving the family business
3. What to do with the next 30 years? (Still pondering.)

muppetish's avatar

@Seelix my biggest decision was along the same lines. I was provisionally accepted into four graduate programs (which I never expected would happen) and found myself struggling to make a decision about where to study in fall. One of them was easy to nix since it was a summer only program and it would take me longer to acquire my masters. The next eliminated school was due to distance because I decided that I don’t want to study on the east coast (a huge leap considering I was contemplating studying all the way in Australia not too long ago.) The two schools that were at a stalemate for months were the school that offered the emphasis I wanted (children’s literature) and the one that would cost less (my alma mater.) I went with finances. I’d rather wait until I am gunning for my Phd to take out loans / run myself into debt.

I am also extremely thankful that this has been my biggest decision.

Coloma's avatar

Choosing to divorce my ex husband 8 years ago after 22 years of marriage and 26 years of relationship. Most of which was miserable living with a passive aggressive narcissist. lol

BEST thing I ever did!
8 years later and not a week goes by, although the intensity has calmed down, where I don’t acknowledge how HAPPY I am!

aprilsimnel's avatar

Cutting off contact with my aunt (who was my legal guardian from ages 4–18) and her son, my cousin, who were abusive to me throughout my childhood and were angry and more abusive once I called them on their stuff as an adult. They made it clear that I was to play the role I’d always played if I wanted to be a part of their lives.

What’s funny is if you told them that they were abusive, they’d swear up and down that they weren’t that sort of people at all. It’s hard to cut your immediate family off, even if they are abusers. I feel like I’m getting over Stockholm Syndrome.

It’s been quite a journey. Perhaps one day, I’ll feel safe enough to get in touch with my extended bio family, none of whom I really know, save for one married-in aunt who divorced my uncle after enduring similar abuse from him.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Whether I was going to keep fighting or just give up. I was in business with another person, they bailed out and left me in a mess. I had a very tough uphill climb facing me. So I wondered if it would be better to throw in the towel, and how far I was going to throw the towel. Yeah, I considered it. But I have some good things to live for. After a pretty tough period, I decided the good things in live outway the alternative and plus, I have too many people relying on me. I’m still fighting.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

1. To get sober.
2. To come out of the closet.
3. To divorce my wife, leaving my children, and live openly as a gay man.

The first one was a life or death decision. I was killing myself with my drinking.
The second one was killing me on the inside.
The third one was made to help me be true to my real self.

Jude's avatar

@hawaii_jake Wonderful that you were able to make it and be happy!

tinyfaery's avatar

This is impossible to answer. Lots of decisions seem huge at the time, but yield small results. The opposite is also true. Because of that I tend to make decisions on a whim. The only value in a choice is that it was chosen.

filmfann's avatar

1) Taking my Mom off life support

2) Going to war with an abusive boss, knowing I would be giving up any chance at management.

3) Going to court against my daughter.

I agonized over all three decisions, and I am comfortable with the results.

JustJessica's avatar

To get clean, luckily I chose to do it. I’m alive today because of it!

KateTheGreat's avatar

I had to decide whether I’d turn my uncle into the police once. Another one would the choice to move from Russia to the United States.

Jeruba's avatar

Clarification, please, @Jude: are you asking for any decision we were a part of—such as one made jointly with spouse or siblings—or only a decision made alone? Those are different experiences.

tranquilsea's avatar

Finally calling CPS on my sister. Strangely this decision was harder than the one I had just made to take my mom off of life support. My mom was dying period and I made the decision to make sure that all of her kids could be around her when she passed. If she had been left on life support she could have died at any time with no one around her.

My sister was a hard one. Any which way I thought about it the right thing to do was call CPS and squelch the feelings of betrayal that doing so brought on.

Berserker's avatar

I don’t think I’ve ever really made any big decisions much, because I sort of live by the day, and whether it’s good or bad, don’t think of the future much. Whatever happens happens, and when I do make decisions, they never really seem to be much of a big deal, since I always only vaguely think of the outcomes, and basically convince myself that whatever I predict will more or less come to be.
I know that’s bullshit because life has shown me otherwise, but somehow I can’t get rid of the mindset. I guess maybe this means I really haven’t been faced with any real big decision.
The closest thing I can think of is making big steps forward, whether good or bad. Like going back to school, which I’ve done and am still attending, or currently, trying to deal with this booze problem here. So I denno. Nothing ever seems like, this, or that?

Getting the Esper Ragnarok turned into a sword, or keeping it as is? Hmmm…

Coloma's avatar


Give time my darling, you are young enough to enjoy plenty more years of the big mind f—k decisions, rest assured, it’ll happen sooner or later. lol
I am sooo teasing you my friend!

Berserker's avatar

Lol I’m so looking forward to it. XD

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Getting divorced from my best friend.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Whether or not to give my sister, who was in the last stages of cancer, a dose of morphine that would put her out of any misery she might be experiencing. Why didn’t I do it? I just didn’t know if she was in pain. While she had lost the ability to talk and use facial expressions, I witnessed her reach up and brush the cheek of our other sister. I decided it was best to tend to her needs as well as I, and her friends and family, could.

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