Social Question

Mariah's avatar

Should I room alone in college next year (see details)?

Asked by Mariah (25829points) April 16th, 2011

Right now I’m leaning towards rooming alone in college next year. I will be undergoing surgery 2 months prior to starting college, and I will still be dealing with some after-effects of the surgery when college starts. I may not have my full energy levels, and will probably have to use the bathroom multiple times a day, and probably at least once during the night. I don’t want to disturb a roommate with whatever my needs are, and I’d like to have privacy available to me if I need it.

I already have a group of friends at college, but I very much want to make more friends. My friend group will graduate a year before me, so I would like to have friends in my year so that I’m not all alone for my senior year. Will being in a single room necessarily make it much harder to make friends? Will I be denying myself an important college experience if I room alone?

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20 Answers

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Are we talking about in the dorms, or off-campus?

I say, room alone, in a house/apartment with other people.

Mariah's avatar

Ah sorry, forgot to mention that. As a freshman, I am required to live in the dorms on campus.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Mariah Ah. I thought you were going to be a sophmore or junior. Then… I don’t know. I could never, ever have done dorms, but I know lots of people that say they benefited from it. So I’m not really the one to help you out.

Mariah's avatar

@MyNewtBoobs I started my freshman year, but didn’t finish it. When I come back I’m going to be considered a freshman in all ways, including housing selection.

Well thanks for giving what advice you can give! I’m not sure how big of a difference it would make having a roommate or not – it’s not like it prevents me from meeting other people in the dorm, I just don’t want being in a single room to give people the impression I’m “closed off” or don’t want to talk to people.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Mariah I think it depends a lot on if you want a roommate in general.

math_nerd's avatar

“I just don’t want being in a single room to give people the impression I’m “closed off” or don’t want to talk to people.”

If anything this gives the impression that you have a room to party without someone else bitching to the RA.

Bellatrix's avatar

If I had a choice, I would always prefer to have my own space. You may feel a little emotionally fragile too after surgery. I am not sure what your surgery entails but those sort of invasive procedures can actually leave you feeling very vulnerable. I think being able to have your own space might be important and you certainly don’t want to have to be considering other people’s feelings if you need to be up and down to the loo. You can always go out and do things to connect with people if you want to.

Aethelwine's avatar

I think @Mz_Lizzy has some great advice. My oldest son is a freshman. He considered getting his own room after Christmas break because his roommate listened to crappy rap music late into the night. He couldn’t get any sleep. You never know who you’ll end up rooming with. You can also change to a shared room at a later time when you feel up to it.

Brian1946's avatar

I think having your own room would give you more social latitude. You can have friends visit you without having to consult with a roommate to avoid a scheduling conflict.

If your room has only one bathroom, you won’t have to worry about anyone besides a visitor of your choosing using it.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Mz_Lizzy is right – don’t underestimate how vulnerable and violated that kind of invasive surgery can make you feel.

JLeslie's avatar

I loved living in the dorm. You meet tons of people and for me it was a really big oart of the college experience. There is no way living in in an apartment or house gives you the same thing. Living alone will not prohibit you from still meeting a lot of new people. It is true that a dormmate can be kind of a built in new friend, and then you can quickly get connected with their friends, but it does not always happen that way anyway. I really liked living with my roommate, but I had a lot more in common, and became closer friends with other people in my dorm.

In your situation I think living alone in the dorm is the best option. If the room is the same size as people with roomates, but they just take a bed out, you can probably opt to add a bed a few weeks in if the dorms are crowded. My school had triple situations at times, and within a few weeks they usually got sorted out, and the third person was moved to another room.

downtide's avatar

When I was in my freshman year I lived in a single-occupancy room (actually I don’t think our dorms had any shared rooms at all, they were all singles). But there were plenty of common rooms and places we could hang out with friends; we had a massive kitchen that was shared by the 12 people on our floor. That, and the patio, were where we hung out together. Then, to be able to go to your room alone, close the door and just get some peace and quiet to work, was bliss. I would have hated having to share, and I don’t think being in a single room inhibited my ability to make friends at all.

marinelife's avatar

No, room alone. You can meet people in the hallways and at meals, and in classes.

Brian1946's avatar

This is probably the most ♫harmoniously unanimous♫ thread I’ve ever seen.

john65pennington's avatar

Mariah, friends are going to be your friends, room mate or not.

Is there any proof that a person living in a single room is any smarter than a person, living with a room partner? If this proof does exist, then I would consider a single-only room.

My only exception would be your upcoming surgery. A room mate would be there for you, if you experienced any problems with your surgery as compared to living alone.

If money is not an issue with a single room to yourself, I would really consider living alone.

Mariah's avatar

Okay, thanks everyone for confirming that rooming alone isn’t some terrible, social-life-destroying decision. I do think I’ll be much more comfortable alone, at least at first.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Singles are coveted. Most people make friends with people who are not their roommates, so you can have someone to complain about your roommate to when living with them gets difficult.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Mariah Even if it is a great way to meet people (which it really only is if you’re the type of people to become friends anyway – it’s not going to create some life-long, healthy bond between you and someone you’d hate normally), there are tons and tons of other ways to meet people.

HungryGuy's avatar

Sorry to hear about your medical issues. Hope you have a quick and easy recovery. I’m thinking if you have a really good friend to room with, that might be best for you, rather than being alone when you need help.

Now, that said, one semester, I paid double to have a private dorm room. It was wonderful. The following year, they tore down one of the dorms (it was old and crumbling), and getting a single was no longer even an option. After that, They even closed some of the lounge rooms and turned them into triples. Ugh!

mrrich724's avatar

I’d say having a roomie opens up social possibilities ALOT. Get a roomie, but make sure you have your own bedroom/bathroom setup (which would probably require off campus living).

It’s nice to have privacy and peace and quiet. But trust me, sometimes, it’s just nice to have someone there in the house with you. Sometimes when everyone has something going on, at least you’ll have the roomie to kick it with, and just lay back and watch TV.

And when it’s eerie out, having someone across the living room also helps :)

I know quite a few ppl who lived alone. Every one of them did it for only one semester, or one year. B/C they were constantly at friends houses b/c being alone just didn’t turn out to be what they wanted…

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