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Stinley's avatar

My husband has got a new job and we are relocating. Should I get a job or stay at home until the kids are settled?

Asked by Stinley (11505points) April 21st, 2011

My husband has got a new job in a different area. He has been on short term contracts for 2 years, currently works three days a week and before that he retrained as a teacher and ran his own business. Neither of which made money and I supported him through my full time, fairly well paid job. I am stopping work in a couple of months at the end of June as my contract is coming to an end. He finished his contract at the end June and starts new permanent full time job in September. I suppose I will need to get work at some point as living on one teacher’s salary would be difficult. But my question is should I stay at home for a few months to get settled in the new area, see that the girls are ok at school, organise the new house etc, meet new friends maybe? Or should I look for a job immediately and take anything that I can get since it may take a while to get a professional job? Is this question “which is more important money or time?”. Or is it more that is it my turn to not have the pressure of being an employee and going to work every day? Am I justified in thinking like this or should i just get off my backside and find a job?

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14 Answers

seazen_'s avatar

My wife and I were both part-timers for the first few months, and later on she became a full-time mom – for the first few years. Money was tight, but the kids had their mom with them and they even breast-fed for about 2 years. Nothing like a mom, or a dad, at home.

janbb's avatar

If you can afford it – and it sounds like you can, I think settling you and the girls into the new place first and then looking for a job is a great idea. You will have enough on your plate and having some time to make connections in the new place will both be enjoyable and serve you well when you do go back to work.

marinelife's avatar

It sounds to me as if the whole family would be off for the summer. You should join them. It could be a magical time (one you can never get back) for your family.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

It depends on whether the family could financially survive on one salary. If so, take a couple months off.

Stinley's avatar

@marinelife You’re right – I’m thinking that the summer off would be great.
@ItalianPrincess1217 We have some savings but imagine these would be pressed into use for moving costs. Or we could use some of the money invested in the house.

It’s a long summer for the kids because of different times for the summer holidays. If we sell our house by then we could go off in the caravan and travel Europe. technically homeless but with money in the bank…

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

How old are the kids?

Stinley's avatar

Both are girls and are 9 and 4. 9 year old is going to go into her last year of junior school, though it would be her 2nd last year if we stayed where we are. Little one starts school in September.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Stinley If you can afford it for a bit I would think stay at home for awhile. Those are tough years for kids. A little extra support might be good.

janbb's avatar

Just to reinforce what I said above, I definitely feel it would be benificial for both you and the girls for you to be home for them as they make the transition to a new location. Having a parent in the house when you get home from school can be very helpful and you will be able to support them as they make new friends and have play dates. Plus acclimating yourself to a new area takes time.

Stinley's avatar

@janbb thanks, you are probably right. i would love to let them have friends over after school as we’ve always been only able to do that at weekends. And the little one has only ever had one friend over to play. It’s the whole childcare issue as well, we’ve been lucky that I had my mum nearby and found a good childminder for the other days

Seaofclouds's avatar

As others have said, if you can afford some time of to get everything settled, it’s definitely worth it. We’ve moved a lot in the past few years. With one of the moves, I had a job planned to start the week after we got there. That was the most stressful move for me because I felt a lot of pressure to get our son set up in school, before/after school care, and to make sure things at home were all situated (unpacked, put where we need them, etc).

Judi's avatar

It’s a math and values question that only you and your husband can answer.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Save up a bit more if you can, prior to your move. Since you have child care now—-Maybe with a part time job? Maybe you could also sock more money away before the move by cutting back on a few extras, too?

Then, take off and enjoy it to its fullest. It’s a rarity for everyone in a family to be able to spend uninterrupted time together.

If you both sit down and realize you can’t afford no one bringing in a paycheck, maybe both of you could take part-time jobs just to bring in a bit of summer spending cash?

Randy's avatar

Why not try to do both? In my experience within the past two years, finding a job can be very frustrating and difficult. Especially one you’ll actually want. I’d suggest you start poking around but only at your connivence. That way, if you find something great, you can grab it up and since you’re only half-way looking, you’re not missing out on spending time with your family and getting things settled. If you don’t find anything then when it comes crunch time you can start really looking.

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