Want to play the "If celebrity x were y, then he/she would be z" game?

If Keanu Reeves felt sick to his stomach, then he’d be Keanu Heaves.
(Brad Pitt)

@erichw1504…give me a name

@yankeetooter Sorry, I edited it.

ah, thanks
If Brad Pitt expectorated alot, he’d be Brad Spit
(Shelly Long)

If Shelly Long were a smoker, she’d be Shelly Bong.
(Christian Bale)

I knew you were going to go there…
If Christian Bale did poorly in school, he would be Christian Fail…
(Mickael Keaton)

If Michael Keaton took a trip to the Sun, he would be Michael Heatin’.
(Natalie Portman)

If Natalie Portman were a brand of cookies, she would be Natalie Voortman
(Jack Nicholson)

If Jack Nicholson were Elmo, he’d be Jack Tickleson.
Lame, but whatever.

Mike Huckabee.

If Mike Huckabee swallowed a bee, he’d be Mike Suckabee.
(Rachel Wood)

^ This.

If Rachel Wood was a talented actress, she’d be Rachel Good.
I think she’s good, though, but whatevs.

Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris turned into an animal, he’d be Duck Norris.

Steven Tyler

Back to the drawing board. ~Thanks @erichw1504

If Steven Tyler were a helium balloon, he’d be Steven Mylar.
Angelina Jolie.

@AmWiser Now we’re back to the drawing board since you failed to provide us with a new celebrity! ~

Arnold Schwarzenegger

If @troubleinharlem washed with a lot of soap, she’d be Bubble in Harlem.

Jack Black.

If Jack Black was made of building blocks, he’d be Jack Stack.

Ben Stiller

If Ben Stiller was a murderer, he’d be Ben Killer.
Angelina Jolie.
I’m back on track:D

If Angelina Jolie was a priest, she’d be Angelina Holy.

Heath Ledger

oooh! good one @erichw1504
If Heath Ledger was a river rat, he’d be Heath Badger.
John Wayne.

If John Wayne got run over, he’d be John Payne.
Kate Winslet

If @troubleinharlem Needed a shave, she’d be Stubble in Harlem.

Art Garfunkel. Queenie: I got you covered

@seazen_: Hardy har har. xD

If Art Garfunkel was an alternative fish, he would be Art Gar-punkel.
Bill Gates.

Kate Winslet!!!!

It should be a rule that if you forget to put a new celebrity, then the next person gets to do one of your username and make fun of you!

If Kate Winslet was a fruit, she’d be Date Winslet.

Lady Gaga

Word

When Lady Gaga was younger she was called Baby Gaga

Sade

If Sade was swimming, she’d be called Wade.

Elton John

If Elton John went into drug dealing, he’d be called Elton Don.
Sylvester Stallone

If @queenie was rude, she’d be called @meanie.

George Clooney

If George Clooney went mad, he’d be called George Looney.
Sylvester Stallone

If Sylvester Stallone had nobody, he’d be called Sylvester Alone.
Oprah

If Oprah suddenly became depressed, she’d be called Moprah.

Ryan Gosling

If Ryan Gosling needed dental care he’d be Ryan Floss string

Bill Gates

If Bill Gates made millions selling ceramic dishes, he’d be called Bill Plates.

Steve Jobs

If Steve Jobs fixed his front door, he’d be known as Steve Knobs
Judi Dench

If Judi Dench didn’t use deodorant she’d by Judi Stench.
Lucille Ball

If Lucille Ball tripped, she’d be known as Lucille Fall.
Joe Jonas. (someone make up a good one for him, I hate him)

If Joe Jonas worked the corner at nights, he’d be called Hoe Jonas.

Meat Loaf

If Meat Loaf were a vegetarian, he’d be called Beet Loaf.

Sharon Stone

If Sharon Stone had an exact look alike, she’d be known as Sharon Clone.
Matt Damon

If Matt Damon was a fish, he’d me called Matt Salmon. (close enough?)
Reese Witherspoon

If Reese Witherspoon and Matt Damon were necking, I’d say Get a room.

Ben Afleck.

If Reese Witherspoon was made of candy, she’d be called Reese’s Withersppon (count?)

Will Smith

If Reese Witherspoon became a retard, he’d be known as Reese Withergoon
Will Smith

@seazen_ Your’s, in no way, abides by the rules.

If @troubleinharlem were into geology she’d be Rubble in Harlem.

Steve Buscemy (fix your typos guys)

If @seazen_ were a jerk, he’d be @sleazin_. I can do this too! xD

If Steve Buscemy had a cold, he’d be Steve Bus-phlegmy.
Bruce Springsteen.

If Steve Buscemy went into a mission of turning lead into gold, he’d be known as Steve Alchemy
Will Smith

If he was happy he’d be known as Will Bliss

Florence Nightingale

If Will Smith got in trouble with the law he’d be Will Pleads the Fifth

Hannah Montana

If Hannah Montana was sweating, she’d be called Fannah Montana.

George Lopez

If Hannah Montana went mad she’d be known as Hannah Banana
Florence Nightingale

If Florence Nightingale wore a light bulb suit, he’d be called Florence Brightingale.

Halle Berry

If Halle Berry went on a sailing trip, it’d be Halle Ferry
George Lopez

If George Lopez ate a million tacos, he’d be called Gorge Lopez.

Conan O’Brien.

If George lost his candy dispenser, he’d be George No-Pez.

Lindsey Lohan

If Lindsey Lohan was herself, she’d be called Lindsey Hohan.

Rob Lowe

If Rob Lowe were a glass maker, he’d be Rob Blow.
Don Juan

If Don Juan was a bird enthusiast, he’d be Don Swan.
Johnny Depp

If Johnny was a cheerleader, he’d be Johnny Pep
Gilbert Gottfried

If Gilbert Gottfried was a comic strip character, he’d be called Dilbert Gottfried.

Barack Obama

If Barack Obama was made fun of on the playground, he’d be Barack YO-Mama

Sandy Duncan

If Barack were to move to a different state, he’d be Barack Alabama
Sandy Duncan

You both thought of Sandy Duncan?!

If she played in the wizard of oz she’d be Sandy Munchkin

Mandy Patinkin.

If Mandy Patinkin got sand up her bikini, she’d be called Sandy Patinkin.

Vin Diesel

If Vin Diesel got spots and was ill, he’d be Vin Measle
Robin Williams

@erichw1504 Mandy is guy :P

@SpatzieLover @erichw1504 Snigger

@SpatzieLover That’s his parent’s fault, then.

Robin Williams

If Robin Willams was a big crybaby, He’d be Sob-in Williams.
Lou Dobbs

It’s back. Sorry about that. If Lou Dobbs drowned in the ocean he’d be Lou Bobbs
Kevin Bacon

If Kevin Bacon was not really an actor, he’d be called Kevin Fakin’.

Jane Lynch

If Jane Lynch turned into a robber, she’d be known as Jane Pinch
Jim Carrey

If Jim* Carrey had a beard, he’d be called Jim Hairy.

Steve Carel

If Steve Carel had things that annoyed him, he’d be Peeve Carel
Whoopie Goldberg

If Whoopie Goldberg had diarhea she’d be, Poopie Goldberg
Donald Trump.

If Whoopie brought down the Titantic, she’d be called Whoopie Iceberg
Yoko Ono

If Yoko Ono played card games, she’d be called Yoko Uno.

Donald Trump

Since Donald isn’t happy with anyone he should be Donald Grump.
Sarah Palin.

If Sarah Palin tries to become president again, she’ll be called Sarah Failin’.

Courteney Cox

If Courtney were answering @wundayatta’s box questions she’d be known as Courtney Box…If she were Jewish, maybe she’d be known as Courtney Lox and when she was in that Springsteen video, she was known as Courtney Fox!

Bruce Springsteen

If Bruce Springsteen was an agreeing man, he’d be called Truce Springsteen.

Anthony Hopkins

If Anthony Hopkins were not successful as an actor, he’d be Anthony Flopkins.
Bill Murray

If Bill Murray saved rescued a dying cat, he’d be called Bill Hooray!

Charlie Sheen

If Charlie Sheen didn’t do drugs, he’s be Charlie Clean…
Al Gore

If Al Gore was a delicious campfire treat, he’d be called Al S’more.

Chris Brown

If Chris Brown stopped being funny, he’d be Chris Frown
Drew Carey

If Drew Carey wore a tutu and could fly, he’d be called Drew Fairy.

Mariah Carey

If Mariah Carey were a virgin, she’d be Mariah Cherry.
(You guys are having way too much fun with this.)

Bob Hope.

If Bob Hope became Catholic, he’d be Bob Pope
Bill Cosby

If Bill Cosby created puddin’-pop-flavored cupcakes, he could be called BIll Frosting.
(let’s go with that.)

Farah Fawcett.

If Farah Fawcett was a dentist, she’d be called Farah Flossit.

Gene Simmons

If Gene Simmons were more feminine , he’d be Gene Womens
William Shatner

If William Shatner was a steam roller operator, he’d be called William Flattener.

Leonard Nimoy

If Leonard wasn’t Jewish (he is) he’d be Leonard The Goy.

Jessica Alba

If Jessica Alba was part of the media, she’d be Pressica Alba
Elvis Presley

If Elvis Presley shook his hips anymore, he’d be called Pelvis Presley.

Buddy Holly

If Buddy Holly’s belly shook like a bowl for of jelly, he’d be Buddy Jolly.
Rowan Atkinson

If Rowan Atkinson were in crew, he’d be Rowin Atkinson.
Prince Charles.

If Prince Charles liked crepes stuffed with cheese, he’d be Blintz Charles

waiting for a new name so I can jump into the game

oops
Princess Diana

If Princess Diana had used autotune she’d be Princess Rihanna

Gordon Ramsay

If Gordon Ramsay spoke the word pig in pig latin, he’s be Gordon Amhay
Lawrence Welk

If Lawrence Welk were an animal he’d be called Lawrence Elk.

Simon Cowell

If Simon Cowell was much nicer, he’d be Simon Pal
Luke Perry

If Luke Perry was a nuclear scientist, he’d be called Nuke Perry.

Jason Priestley

If Jason Priestley treated everyone horribly, he’s be Jason Beastly…
Jerry Seinfeld

If Jerry Seinfeld was a jolly good fellow, he’d be called Merry Seinfeld.

George Costanza

I’ll resist the urge to use “Can’t stand ya”
If George Costanza starred in a remake of a family western show, he’d be George Bonanza
Michael Richards

If Michael Richards lived in Alabama, he’d be called Michael Prichards.

James Franco

If James Franco was a woman honored in England, he’d be Dames Franco
Cosmo Kramer

What James looks like when he speaks into a camera, James Blanco. (I know, I cheated.)
Sugar Ray Leonard

If Sugar Ray Leonard had a cold, he’d be Booger Ray Leonard.

Kanye West

If Kanye were amusing, he’d be Kanye Jest

Jason Mraz

If Jason Mraz delved into a different genre of music, he could be called Jason Jazz.

Adam Levine

If Adam Levine became the lady in charge of a whore house, he’d be Madam Levine
Cosmo Kramer

If Cosmo Kramer was a coach, he’d be called Cosmo Trainer.

Edward Norton

If Edward Norton was really tired, he’d be Bedward Norton
Chrstina Ricci

If Christina Ricci had tourettes, she’d be called Christina Twitchy.

David Spade

If David Spade was the person I dream about, he’d be David _____ ooh, nevermind!
If David Spade wore leather products, he’d be David Suede
Chris Farley

If Chris Farley made Reggae music, he’d be Chris Marley

Patricia Heaton

If Patricia Heaton was abused, she’d be called Patricia Beaten.

Kevin James

If Kevin James was an underwear model, he’d be Kevin Hanes.

Ron Perlman

If Ron Perlman digs for gold instead of diving for pearls, he will be Ron Goldman

Annette Benning

If Annette Benning was an author, she’d be called Annette Penning.

Albert Einstein

If Albert Einstein was a fashion designer he’ll be Albert Ann Klein

John Malkovich

If John Malkovich was allergic he’d be John Hasanitch

Betty White

If Betty White flew the first airplane she’ll be Betty Wright

Harrison Ford

If Harrison Ford had an NPR radio show, he’d be Garrison Ford

David Sedaris

If David Sedaris was a star he’d be David Polaris.

Christian Slater

If Christian Slater was a troll, he’d be Christian Hater.

Cameron Diaz

If Cameron Diaz was a carpenter, she’d be Hammeron Diaz
Raul Julia

If Raul Julia was in the bathroom, she’d be called Stall Julia.

Nicolas Cage

If Nicholas Cage had anger issues, he’d be Nicholas Rage.

If @yankeetooter played an instrument, she’d be called @yankeefluter.

Mark Anthony

If Mark Anthony took off all of his clothes, he’d be Stark Anthony
Herman Munster
sorry for forgetting the name, that was funny @erichw1504

@erichw1504 Raul Julia is a man. I’m still snorting laughter over your response about Mandy Patinkin

If Herman Munster was from Frankfurt, he’s be German Muenster.

Alan Rickman

@Pied_Pfeffer Son of a…!

If Alan Rickman was a jerk, he’d be called Alan Prickman.

John Lithgow

If John Lithgow was frowning at this moment, he’d be John Withscowl
JK Rowling

If JK Rowling had the shape of a ten-pin and a head like Charlie Brown’s, she’d be JK Bowling.

Charlie Brown

If Charlie Brown was the King of the World, He’d be Charlie Crown

Linda Rondstadt

If Linda Rondstadt lived in Chicago, she’d (she is a girl right?) be Winda Rondstadt.

Michael Jordan

If Michael Jordan rode a bike everywhere, he’d be Cycle Jordan
Cal Ripken

If Cal Ripken was a robot, he’d be called Hal Ripken.

John Travolta

If John Travolta was arrested for criminal acts, he’d be Con Travolta
Ted Danson

If Ted Danson had a thick mustache in the 70’s he’ll be Ted Bronson

Charles Bronson

If Charles Bronson had tangles in his hair every morning, he’d be Snarls Bronson
Rhea Perlman

If Charles Bronson made frozen dinners he’d be Charles Swanson

Katie Couric

If Katie Couric lives in a foreign country, she’d be called Haiti Couric.

Bruce Willis

your’s is better @GoJessGo

If Bruce Willis was is better shape, he’d be Spruce Willis
Jim Nabors

Since Jim Nabors left acting, he’s put on a ton of weight and does charity work. He now goes by ‘Slim’ Favors.

Ewan McGregor

If Ewan Mcgregor was feelin ill he’d be called Spewing Magutsup
Clint Eastwood

If Clint Eastwood is facing the opposite direction he’ll be Clint Westwood

Faye Dunaway

If Faye Dunaway bought a lot of rifles and pistols, she’d be Faye Gunaday
Liam Neeson

If Liam Neeson’s belly starts to bloat switching to comedy acting he’ll be Liam Gleason

Mark Hamill

If Mark Hamill goes off to live in the desert, he’d be Mark Camel
Carrie Underwood

If Carrie Underwood were a guy and didn’t shave the nether regions, she’d have Hairy Underwood

Ricky Gervais

If Ricky Gervais was a hedgehog he’d be called Pricky Gervais
Cheryl Cole

If Cheryl Cole was filled with Lucky Charms and milk, she’d be called Cereal Bowl.

Rick James

If Rick James was a detective, he’d be called Dick James.
Parker Posey

If Rick James was a lion, he’d be Licks Manes

If Parker Posey was a warm coat, she’d be Parka Cozy

Clay Aiken

If Clay Aiken decides to play as a guy he’ll be Clay Faiken

Bruce Lee

@mazingerz88 Or “I Be Fakin’”

If Bruce Lee was a fir, he’d be Spruce Tree

Maria Shriver

If Maria Shriver wed her chauffeur she’d be set to Marry her driver
David Beckham

If David Beckham turned out to be Kevin’s lost brother he’ll be David Bacon

Santa Claus

If Santa Claus married Monica Lewinski he’d be called Santa Monica
Frank Sinatra

If Santa Claus was a kitty, he’d be Santa Paws.

Peter Cottontail

If Peter was a Furry he’d be called Peter Gettintail.
Phyllis Diller

If Phyllis Diller was a saleslady she could be called Phyllis Schiller

Pee Wee Herman

If Phyllis Diller was a slut with a sexual disease she’ll be Syphyllis Drillher

Tom Jones

Ahem, what about Frank Sinatra, I did get their first! Come on, play fair people.

If Frank Sinatra was a drug commercial on TV everyday he’ll be Frank Fenestra

Cary Grant

If Cary didn’t take his Viagra, he’d be Cary Can’t.

Susan Sarandon

If Susan Sarandon invented plastic to wrap food with she’ll be Susan Saranwrap

Pee Wee Herman

If Pee Wee Herman were a tank he’d be called Pow Wow Sherman
Daffy Duck

If Daffy Duck gets beaten by Donald Duck in a wrestling contest he’ll be Daffy Suck

Tom Jones

If Tom Jones were anorexic he’d be called Tom Bones
Owen Wilson…....@mazingerz88 respect for tidying up the thread :¬)

If Owen Wilson were a tailor, he’d be Sewin’ Wilson

Jon Stewart

If Jon Stewart bought a new wardrobe, he’d be Jon Newshirt.
David Letterman

If David Letterman stops having sex with his office staff, he’ll be David Betterman

Isaac Newton

When Isaac Newton eats beans, he’s Isaac Tootin’.
George Carlin

If George Carlin grew gills, he’d be George Marlin and talk about the seven words you can’t say underwater.

Steven Spielberg

If Steven Spielberg was clumsy at drinking a lot of beer he’ll be Steven Spillbeer or Steven Spielburp

George Lucas

When George Lucas catches a cold, he turns into George Mucus.

Carrie Fisher

If Carrie Fisher were a Genie, she’d be Carrie Wish-er

Bob Barker

If Bob Barker went to Transylvannia to get Dracula’s signature he’ll be Bob Harker

Kirk Douglas

If Kirk Douglas was a porn star he’d surely be called Dirk Digglas
Kylie Minogue

If Kylie Minogue wrote, produced and directed an interesting feminist stage act, she may be called, Kylie Vagina Monologue

Marlon Brando

When Marlon Brando goes free ballin, he’s Marlon Commando.
Johnny Rotten

you guys are still going at this? wow.

when Johnny Rotten gets very old he’ll be Johnny Forgotten
Jeff Bridges
@troubleinharlem Yep, you’re game is brill!

Long day, but I’m baaack!
If Jeff Bridges were a potato chip, he’d be Jeff Ridges
Ryan Seacrest.

If Ryan Seacrest had a plane, he’d be Flyin’ Seacrest.

Albert Brooks

If Albert Brooks was a corner, he’d be Albert Nooks.
Mila Kunis

If Mila Kunis was a game, she’d be known as Mila Draconis
Love her as the voice of Meg on Family Guy:D
Henry Winkler

If Henry Winkler had an enlarged prostate, he’d be Henry Tinkler.

Rob Lowe

If Rob Lowe was a gardening tool, he’d be Rob Hoe.
Jesse Eisenberg

If Jesse Eisenberg were a hoarder, he’d be known as Messy Eisenberbg.
Wilt Chamberlain

If Wilt Chamberlain was an old female hotel worker he’ll be Wilted Chambermaid

John Leguizamo

If John Leguizamo really needed money, he’d be John Beguizamo.

Justin Timberlake

If Justin Timberlake went water skiing, would he be Justin Riverswake?
John Malkovich

If John Malkovich drank a lot of dairy, he’d be called John Milkovich.

Jennifer Anniston

If Jennifer Anniston clucked all the time, she’d be Hennifer Anniston

If @yankeetooter smelled bad, she’d be called @stankytooter.

Ray Romano

I did it again
If Ray Romano got castrated, he’d be Ray Soprano
Fred Flintstone

If Fred Flintstone ate too many Peppermint Patties, he’d be called Fred Mintstone.

Daffy Duck

We’ve already had Daffy Duck, but hey, who cares?
If Daffy Duck was a porn star he’d be called Daffy Fuck
Joe Pesci

If Joe Pesci didn’t clean up after himself, he’d be called Joe Messy.

Macaulay Culkin

If Macaulay Culkin were in a bad mood, he’d surely be called Macaulay Sulkin
Burt Reynolds

If Burt Reynolds was terse with everyone he met, he’d be Curt Reynolds.
Loni Anderson

If Loni Anderson were a pasta, she’d be called Macaroni Anderson.

Pierce Bronson

If Pierce Bronson went around biting people in the shin, he’d be Fierce Bronson.
Gary Coleman

If Gary Coleman worked as a stripper, he may be named Hairy Poleman
Jessica Alba

If Jessica Alba was a strange type of lettuce, she’d be Cressica Alba
Estelle Getty

If Estelle Getty were a large, cold, out of focus creature, she’d be called Estelle Yeti.

John C. Reilly

If John C. Reilly told a catalogue of lies, he’d be known as John C. Really??
Nancy Reagan

If Nancy Reagan was not a Christian, she’d be Nancy Pagan.
Jimmy Carter

If Jimmy Carter had too many beans for dinner, he’d be called Jimmy Farter.

Bill Hader

If Bill Hader were in drag, he’d be Bill Masquerader.
Monty Python

If Monty Python went around saying “Aaaaaa” alot, he’d be Fonzi Python
Henry Winkler

If Henry Winkler watered the lawn, he’d be Henry Sprinkler.
Frank Zappa

If Frank Zappa were a daddy, he’d be Frank Pappa
Ron Howard

If Ron Howard was scared of the dark, he’d be called Ron Coward.

Adam Sandler

If Adam Sandler were always asking for money, he’d be Adam Panhandler
Lorne Greene

If Lorne Greene were female, he’d be called Theresa Greene
Tommy Lee Jones

If Tommy Lee Jones were skeletal, he’d be Tommy See Bones.
Richard Whidmark

If Richard Whidmark shit his pants, he’d be called Richard Skidmark. Too easy.

Richard Simmons

If Richard Simmons was into kinky sex, he’d be known as Dick Strapons
Paul Newman

If Paul Newman drove fast cars, he’d be called Paul Vroomin’.

Hugh Jackman

If Hugh Jackman was overweight, he’d be known as Huge Assman
Tobey Maguire

If Tobey Maguire gained weight he’d be Tobey Sparetire

Kevin Costner

If Kevin Costner used a lot of yeast, he’d be Leaven Costner
Daniel Radcliffe

If Daniel Radcliffe was a dog, he’d be called Cocker Spaniel Radcliffe.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

If Joseph Gordon-Levitt sped on the highway, he’d be Joseph Gordon-Rev-it
Brendan Frasier

If Brendan Frasier moved v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y, he’d be Brendan Glacier.
Paris Hilton

If Paris Hilton was getting tipsy, she’d be called Paris Tiltin’.

Robert Pattinson

wooooooooow.

If Robert Pattinson was a kitty sleeping in the window, he’d be Robert Catinsun
Robert Palmer

@troubleinharlem You came up with a winner!

If Robert Palmer was a subdued kind of guy, he’d be called Robert Calmer.

Morgan Freeman

If Morgan Freeman was just released from prison, he’d be Morethan Freeman
James Earl Jones

If James Earl Jones got rickets, he’d be James Curl Bones.

Nancy Pelosi

If Nancy Pelosi was always asking questions, she’d be Nancy Nosy
Henry Ford

If Henry Ford was a sharp weapon, he’d be called Henry Sword.

Danny McBride

If Danny McBride were female, she’d be called Fanny McGroom
Brett Favre

If Brett Favre played guitar, he’d be called Fret Favre.

Carmelo Anthony

If Carmelo Anthony were roasted on a stick over a bonfire, he’d be Marshmallow Anthony.
Tommy Emmanuel

If Tommy Emmanuel got a sex change and had a child, he’d be called Mommy Emmanuel.

Larry Bird

If Larry Bird were a cow, he’d be Larry Curd.
Davey Crockett.

If Davy Crockett carried things in his clothes, he’d be Davy Pocket.
Jim Bowie

If Jim Bowie liked to cut the grass, he’d be called Jim Mowie.

Sammy Hagar

If Sammy Hagar was always overacting, he’d be Hammy Hagar.
George Washington

If GW were the grand canyon, he’d be Gorge Washington

Joel McHale

If Joel McHale was terrible at life, he’d be called Joel McFail.

Chevy Chase

If Chevy Chase held back water in Louisiana, he’d be Levee Chase

Mitch Hedberg

If Mitch Hedberg bought a used mattress, he’d be Mitch Bedbu-r-g

Donald Duck

If Donald Duck was related to Donald Trump he’d be Donald Bucks.
LeAnn Rimes

If LeAnn Rimes never spoke, but communicated with motions, she’d be LeAnn Mimes.
Dolly Parton

If Dolly Parton were a creepy Japanese pedo’s dream, she’d be Loli Parton

Steve Irwin

If Steve Irwin wore dead animal skins, he’d be Steve Furwin.

Minnie Mouse

If Minnie Mouse drank lots of Tanqueray, she’d be a Ginny Souse.
Stephen Hawking

If Stephen Hawking followed people everywhere they go, he’d be Stephen Stalking.
Steven Spielberg

If Steven Spielberg were a revivalist, he’d be Believin’ Spielberg

Graham Norton

If Graham Norton suffered osteoporosis, he’d be Graham Shorten.
Humpty Dumpty

If Humpty Dumpty was in a bad mood all of the time, he’d be Grumpy Dumpty.
Little Bo Peep

If Little Bo Peep cleaned the floor with an old, straw broom, she’d be Brittle Flo Sweep.
Mother Goose

If Mother Goose always brought up the rear, she’d be Mother Caboose.
Mack the Knife

If Mack the Knife married, the little woman would be Mrs. Mack, the Wife.
Frank Sinatra

If Frank Sinatra was an island in Indonesia, he’d be Frank Sumatra.
Bobby Darin

If Bobby Darin were a female stripper, she’d almost certainly be called Booby Darlin
John Travolta

If John Travolta were a brothy soup containing noodles filled with meat, he’d be WonTon Travolta.
Kevin Spacey
Bobby Darin’s a guy, by the way

If Kevin Spacey was one of the Chilean miners he’ll be Cavein Crazy

Macaulay Culkin

@yankeetooter Duh, no shit Sherlock, I just bent the rules a little that’s all.

FINALLY. IT DIED.

@troubleinharlem Mind if I resuscitate it into life again?
If Macaulay Culkin ate lots, he’d be Macaulay Bulkin
Orlando Bloom

If Orlando Bloom was motel in central Florida he would be Orlando Room.

Woody Allen

When Woody Allen gets up in the morning, he’s probably Woody Allen.

Sly Stallone

What died @troubleinharlem? Ouch, @ucme

If Sly Stallone had no S/O, he’d be Sly Alone…

If @yankeetooter again forgets to give a name…
then @yankeetooter is the one who ends this game.

Geesh! Sorry everyone, I’m just tired…give a girl a break

excuses, excuses and still no name

that was only a comment, not an entry in the game
If @Blueroses keeps asking for a name, they’ll be known as Who?roses.
Abraham Lincoln

hee hee illegal use of mockery, but forgiven because of cuteness

If Abraham Lincoln’s job was emptying porta pottys, he would have been called Abraham Stinkin’

Cary Grant

If Cary Grant was always complaining about the freshness of his milk, he’d be Dairy Rant.
Fred Rogers

If Fred Rogers played the role of the dodger in Oliver Twist, he’d be Fred Dodgers
Tommy Lee Jones

If Tommy Lee Jones had kidney rocks, he’d be Tommy Pee Stones.

Sarah Jessica Parker

If Sarah Jessica Parker got a tan without putting sunscreen on, she’d be Sarah Jessica Darker
Colin Firth

If Colin Firth made people sneeze where ever he went, he’d be Pollen Firth.
Mr. T

If Mr. T wet himself, he’d be Mr. P
Christian Bale

If Christian Bale worked for the postal service, he’d be Christian Mail.
Bill Bixby

I f Bill Bixby became a plumber he’d be Bill Fixby.
Keanu Reeves

I think this was the first name given..
If Keanu Reeves was always laying on the ground in the fall, he’d be Keanu Leaves.
Samuel Jackson

This thread is too fun to let die…!

If Samuel Jackson was the face guy for beer, he’d be Samuel Adams.

Ralph Fiennes

If Ralph Fiennes were a pair of Levi’s, he’d be called Ralph Jeans.

George Bush

If George Bush got squished, he’d be George Mush.
Kirsten Dunst

Careful now . . .
If Kirsten Dunst were full of herself, she’d be Burstin’ Dunst.
Toby McGuire

If Toby McGuire decided to serve his country, he’d be Toby Squire
Paul Bettany

If Paul Bettany was a cat, he’d be called Paul Pet-a-me.

Tom Hardy

my favorite author
If Thomas Hardy were always late, he’d be Thomas Tardy.
Somerset Maughm

@yankeetooter Not Thomas Hardy, Tom Hardy.

If Somerset Maughm was a chill dude, he’d be called Somerset Calm.

Hank Aaron

If Hank Aaron went on a cruise and drowned, he’d be Sank Aaron.
Steven Brahms

If Steven Brahms was a number 2, he’d be Even Brahms.

Mark McGrath

oops

If Mark McGrath didn’t like showers, he’d be Mark McBath.
Guy de Maupassant

If Guy de Maupassant were a shopaholic, he’d be Buy de Maupassant.
Mahatma Ghandi.

If Mahatma Ghandi was a delicious treat with an accent, he’d be Mahatma Cahndi.

Julius Caeser

If Julius Caeser had a urine fettish, he’d be Julius Pees-her.

Roberto Clemente

If Roberto Clemente hardened after time, he’d be called Roberto Cement.

Anna Torv

If Anna Torv studied the human body she’d be known as Anna Tomy
Benito Mussolini

If Benito Mussolini was Mexican, he’d be called Burrito Mussolini.

John Noble

If John Noble dissapeared, he’d be Gone Noble.
Al Capone

If Al Capone had a boat, he’d be called Sail Capone.

Joshua Jackson

If Joshua Jackson bought the fast food chain McDonalds, he’d be Joshua MacSon.
Leonardo Da Vinci

If Leonardo Da Vinci didn’t like Christmas, he’d be called Leonardo Da Grinchy.

Jennie Garth

If Jennie Garth sat in front of the fireplace a lot, she’d be Jennie Hearth.
Maureen Stapleton

If Maureen Stapleton were Canadian, she’d be Maureen Mapleton.
Pierre Trudeau

If Pierre Trudeau were a counterfeiter, he’d be Pierre Falsedough.

Alfred Hitchcock

If Alfred Hitchcock was a watchmaker, he’d be Alfred Hitchclock.

Charlie Chaplin

If Charlie Chaplin was a motorcycle, he’d be called Harley Chaplin.

Barry Bonds

If Barry Bonds was a shrimps dish in New Orleans he would be Barrie Prawns.

John Quincy Adams

If John Quincy Adams ran a “house of ill-repute,” he’d be John Quincy Madams.
Josh Groban

If Josh Groban was Arab, he’d be called Josh Turban.

Bob Saget

If Bob Saget had a tail, he’d be Bob Wagit (I didn’t go for the low-hanging “fruit”).
Billy Joel

If Billy Joel was an exotic dancer, he’d be called Billy Pole.

Luke Evans

If Luke Evans were a mistake, he’d be Fluke Evans.
Ludwig van Beethoven.

If Ludwig van Beethoven wore a hairpiece to a farm on a rainy day he’d be called Mudwig van Beethoven.

Star Jones

If Star Jones were bar-b-que ribs, she’d be Star Bones.
Danny DeVito.

If Danny DeVito was foreign, yet familiar, he’d be called Uncanny DeVito.

Michelle Pfeiffer

If Michelle Pfeiffer were serving lots of time for heinous crimes, she’d be Michelle Lifer.
Uma Thurman

If Uma Thurman was a hot beverage container, she’d be called Uma Thermos®.

Val Kilmer

If Val Kilmer were always taking stuff that wasn’t his, he’d be Val Pilfer.
Judd Hirsch

If Judd Hirsch loved beer, he’d be called Bud Hirsch.

Jim Parsons

If Jim Parsons hung from branches in a tree, he’d be Limb Parsons.
Alan Alda

If Alan Alda decided to ditch his friends, he’d be called Bailin’ Alda.

Kaley Cuoco

If Kaley Cuoco was always acting crazy, he’d(?) be Kaley Loco.
Loretta Swit

If Loretta Swit were daft, she’d be Loretta Twit.
Florence Henderson

If Florence Henderson was tons of water flooding in, she’d be Torrents Henderson.
Linda Lavin

If Linda Lavin was a road construction worker, she’d be called Linda Pavin’

Katy Perry

If Katy Perry asked a lot of questions, she’d be Katy Query.
Taylor Swift

If Taylor Swift went out to sea, she’d be called Taylor Drift.

Beyonce Knowles

If Beyonce Knowles had lots of plans for her lofe, she’d be Beyonce Goals.
Plain White T’s

If Plain White T’s were my lover, he’d be my Main Night’s Squeeze!!!
Vanilla Ice

If Vanilla Ice was overflowing herbs he’d be Vanilla Spice .

Katie Couric

If Katie Couric took her show on the road, she’d be Katie Tour Chick.
Dan Rather

If Dan Rather got booted from CBS, he’d be Dan Rather Not.

Harry Houdini

If Harry Houdini wasn’t allowed to play basketball, he’d be Harry TooTeeny.
Michael Jordan

If Michael Jordan likes two-wheeled vehicles, then he’d be called Motorcycle Jordan.

Bart Simpson

If Bart Simpson were a jelly filled pastry, he’d be Tart Simpson.
I took the high road on that one, lol!
Peter Griffith

If Peter Griffith was an abuser, he’d be called Beater Griffith.

Ned Flanders

If Ned Flanders were the Director of Marketing, he’d be Head Branders.
Buzz Lightyear

If Buzz Lightyear was deaf on his left side, he’d be Buzz RightEar.
Charlie Brown

If Charlie Brown was hanging around the ‘hood he would be Charlie Downtown.

Bugs Bunny

If Bugs Bunny was a stand-up comedian, he’d be called Bugs Funny.

Hank Hill

If Hank Hill were spending $50—$70 bucks all the time, he’d be known as Tank Fill.
not really funny, I know!
Yosemite Sam

If Yosemite Sam loved being the center of attention, he’d be called Yosemite Ham.

Philip J. Fry

If Philip J. Fry were very timid, he’d be Philip R. Shy.
Gore Vidal.

If Gore Vidal told stories that put people to sleep, he’d be Bore Vidal.
Peppermint Patty

If Peppermint Patty wore the “fashionable” animal-print fabrics, she’d be Leopardprint Patty.
Jude Law

If Jude Law was a New York Yankee playing in Camden Yards, he’d be Booed Law.
Lucy VanPelt

If Lucy VanPelt got a bucket of water thrown at her, she’d be Lucy VanMelt.
Ellie Golding

If Ellie Golding was some leftovers from my fridge I recently threw out, she’d be Smelly Molding.

Lucy Lui

If Lucy Lui was a silly acting person, she’d be Goosey Lui.
Kelly Rippa

If Kelly Rippa pole-danced, she’d be Kelly Strippa!
Lady Gaga

If Lady Gaga was a comedienne, she’d be called Lady Haha.

Regis Philbin

If he ever retires, Regis Philbin will be Regis Hasbeen.
Anderson Cooper

If Anderson Cooper ate too much fiber, he’d be called Anderson Pooper.

Ronald McDonald

If Ronald McDonald had dyslexia, he’d be Donald McRonald.
Sylvester Stalone

If Sylvester Stalone were a vibrant South American icon, he’d be Sylvester Peron.
C.S. Lewis

If C. S. Lewis was an accountant, he’d be called C. S. Jewish.

Spongebob Squarepants

If Spongebob Squarepants were compensated for posts on Fluther, he’d be Spongebob Paidplants (aka Plaidpants).
Bruce Hornsby

this post is getting really slow

Then somebody needs to make part dos!

If Bruce Hornsby had an erection, he’d be called Bruce Horny.

Deuce Bigalow

If Deuce Bigalow sold his “services,” he’d be Deuce Gigolo.
Fernando Lamas

If Fernando Lamas was an English teacher, he’d be called Fernando Commas.

Kate Beckinsale

If Kate Beckinsale liked to watch the boys walk by, she’d be Kate Checkin-Male.
Gregory Peck

If Gregory Peck were a crappy actor, he’d be Gregory Dreck.

Jean Paul Sartre

If Jean Paul Sartre was a junk man, he’d be Jean Haul Sartre.
Carole King.

You know you guys can go to Part 2 of this thread.