Social Question

LosingAtLove's avatar

Flirting on the internet..when it goes from harmless flirting to telling a girl what he wants to do with them but not doing it is that wrong?

Asked by LosingAtLove (35points) April 25th, 2011

I recently got back together with a teen love. We were apart for almost 20 years and have been back together for 6 months. He flirts online a lot which doesnt bother me, but he goes past that with telling the girls what he want to do to them. Is that wrong? I feel like I am being overly jealous. I don’t know if its the fact that in past relationships he hasn’t had someone care about him as much as I do and that he has had this done to him in past relationships what hes doing to me.

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15 Answers

math_nerd's avatar

I’m a male and would really be upset if my girlfriend took it to that level. I have no problem with chatting but when it pretty much turns into chat-sex I would draw the line. And by draw the line I mean break-up.

Hibernate's avatar

Indeed it’s time to take some actions.

Maybe it doesn’t bother you right now but it might be different in the future.

Twixt3's avatar

Sounds to me like he’s trying to keep his options open and interests going. I would run fast and run far! There’s so much better out there! Good luck!

gmander's avatar

20 years is a long time if he was a teen when you last knew him. That teen in gone. Don’t plan your future based on fond past memories. This guy sounds creepy. Move on.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Perhaps the reason that all of his past relationships have turned into past relationships is that this is not healthy behavior inside a relationship, but he hasn’t figured that out. There is a level of cheating that happens in your head. I he isn’t in to you enough to not flirt with other women on the internet, especially at the beginning of the relationship, he’s not into you. It sounds to me that he doesn’t respect women.

chyna's avatar

Creeper! I think I would talk to him about it. It goes beyond flirting and I really wouldn’t like him just flirting on a daily basis on the internet. That means he is taking time away from you and I’d think about spending time with someone who wants to spend that much time flirting with others.

FluffyChicken's avatar

Oh man…. I once had an online affair while I was in a relationship that was not online. I was ready to move to another state to be with this guy that I really didn’t know. In retrospect I realize that it was an immature attempt to end the shitty relationship I was already in. It was incredibly cowardly of me. I should have just ended it, and not gotten into that situation in the first place.

Cruiser's avatar

he sounds like a narcissistic, smarmy-jackass…is that someone you really want to know let alone date? ;)

stardust's avatar

@Cruiser Indeed he does.
You deserve more respect than this @LosingAtLove

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Well if you think it’s wrong then you have to tell him. I can’t tell you if it’s wrong because if my partner were to do that, I wouldn’t bat an eye but we’re not monogamous.

jca's avatar

Does he tell you he writes these things, or did you snoop and find them? How do you know what he writes?

I would not waste any time or energy on someone who behaves this way. If you are “seeing each other” and not committed, not monogomous, than maybe it’s ok. However, if you are considering this person for a long term, committed relationship, then not ok in my book.

If you tolerate it I would wonder if you have self esteem issues.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Life is too short to be with someone who lacks respect and consideration for you.
Good luck.

diavolobella's avatar

I would move on. It’s not harmless, especially if it’s hurting you. Your time is too valuable to spend it with someone who doesn’t understand boundaries.

Judi's avatar

It’s cheating and disrespectful as far as I’m concerned. It would be a deal breaker for me.

Kardamom's avatar

Today must be the day of missed red flags. Why on earth would you be OK with him flirting with other women online in the first place? He’s clearly not content to be with just you, he’s pursuing relationships with other women!!! He doesn’t have to actually touch another woman to be involved in a cheating relationship with her.

If I were you, I’d drop him like a hot rock and then try to figure out why I would put up with this kind of crap and not even be able to recognize that it is crap.

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