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How can you deny how you feel about someone?

Asked by wundayatta (58617points) April 26th, 2011

In answer to a question about why anyone would want to “love” someone who didn’t love them back, @yankeetooter wrote, “you can’t always help who you are attracted to, or who you feel deeply for. That doesn’t mean that you act on such feelings if you know they are unavailable, but you still can’t help how you feel…and I at least am not always willing to give up on those feelings…a form of self-torment, no doubt.

Do you believe that once you have a feeling about someone, there is nothing you can do about it? You just have to bear it? If so, why do you believe your feelings are out of your control? Does this mean you do not have any responsibility for your feelings (while still being responsible for your actions)?

If you don’t believe that, and you do believe you have some control over your emotions, how do you exercise that control?

If you had a choice, would you prefer your feelings to control you, or to be able to control your feelings? Why?

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