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WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

If Heaven exists- which person's presence would make you immediately run out?

Asked by WillWorkForChocolate (23147points) May 10th, 2011

Let’s assume heaven exists. You arrive at the gates and it’s gorgeous; it’s everything you ever hoped it would be.

BUT… when you pass through the gates, you see “name that person” standing there, and without a second thought, you run out screaming.

Who would make you instantly turn away from Heaven?

I think I’d run out if I saw Hitler there. Or maybe Gilbert Gottfried… could you imagine that voice for eternity? AAAAHHHH!

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38 Answers

Response moderated (Personal Attack)
cockswain's avatar

Pat Roberts

cockswain's avatar

@FutureMemory You’ll be modded for that, but that’s funny.

KateTheGreat's avatar

My biological mother.

ragingloli's avatar

God. Biggest. Dick. Ever.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@ragingloli Do you always have to take it to a rude place? FFS

FutureMemory's avatar

My runner-up would be that portly woman from the documentary Jesus Camp.

cockswain's avatar

The one that says “so you see, that’s really interesting when you realize science can’t really prove anything”?

I’m adding Christopher Columbus.

FutureMemory's avatar

The one that was obsessed with brainwashing children…she wore glasses and spoke in tongues if I remember correctly.

cockswain's avatar

I vaguely remember her. I remember that weird bald guy that taught about pro-life. I saw him in the background next to George Bush in “Bush’s Brain” also. That irritated me.

Cruiser's avatar

Carrot Top

Joker94's avatar

I dunno if anyone could make me run out of heaven…I mean, I’d be too elated with the fact that I’m in heaven to care…Lisa Lampanelli or Joy Behar

FutureMemory's avatar

@cockswain She makes her speaking debut at about 1:45

cockswain's avatar

Oh yeah, that lady sucks. She could single-handedly ruin heaven.

Also putting Jack Johnson on that list.

keobooks's avatar

@Cruiser @cockswain – you guys stole my first two answers!

Here is mine. The God Warrior herself :

AmWiser's avatar

Not a single soul. I’m there to enjoy heaven…dammit I earned it and I’m stayin.

filmfann's avatar

I will be thrilled at anyone being there. I will, no doubt, mourn those missing.

dxs's avatar

How do I know who is and isn’t in heaven?

cookieman's avatar

I’m hoping it’s a big enough place that i can easily avoid those who annoy or repulse me.

woodcutter's avatar

I would be so astonished at my making the cut I don’t think anyone could run me off.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

If I see Doreen,I’m not in heaven….;)

Blackberry's avatar

God, of course, who would argue that he/it/she isn’t a raging dick?

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I can’t imagine who I wouldn’t want to see in heaven. And if I saw my hordes of past enemies coming to greet me, that would truly make it heaven.

cockswain's avatar

Toby Keith.

Blueroses's avatar

If Nancy Grace is there, I’m going straight to the concierge to complain. That woman is a beast.

cockswain's avatar

But she’s the patron saint of kidnapped pretty white kids.

Allie's avatar

Adam Sandler. I can’t stand him.

woodcutter's avatar

@Blueroses that woman is THE beast. Also she was my pick for famous persons I can do without, thread tonight.

Blueroses's avatar

@woodcutter I saw that just after I typed it in here. I cheered for you and gave you lurve for it, I just don’t think of her as a celebrity. I see her as one sign of the coming apocalypse

jlelandg's avatar

Fred Phelps

woodcutter's avatar

@Blueroses Probably not celebrity although she is a legend in her own mind.

SABOTEUR's avatar

The born again Christian who told me I was going to hell because I wouldn’t say to him I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior.

augustlan's avatar

Sarah Palin.

Pele's avatar

I wouldn’t let anyone rain on my heavenly parade.

ucme's avatar

No one’s, but if Celine Dion ushered me past the pearly gates with her incessant warbling, then I would feel duty bound to kick her arse out of there. At least a dozen clouds away, as long as she’s out of range.

FutureMemory's avatar

@keobooks Your link is the best evidence I’ve ever come across that shows a real need for forced sterilization of certain segments of society. Not even kidding.

XYZZYtja's avatar

If heaven would excist, (to be clear, it doesnt, but thats my opinion) I would not run from anyone, if heaven would excist, it would be something where you can do anything you want, if you want people around you, or want to experience to be a dog, or experience being a ghost… It would all be possible, If heaven would excist, it would be like dreaming without limitations to what you can do, there also wont be time, because time is relative, and people made time up, if heaven would excist, it would be something nobody could ever imagine… Because it would be nothing, but everything.

That’s my thought of how heaven would be like,
Now, if there would be a heaven (and im going back to the original question), and I had to pick someone who I dont want to be with, it would be… Osama Bin Laden,

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