What is the worst/dumbest gift you have ever received?

When I was 14 or so, I got five or six of the same pink remote control, dollar store Volkswagen Bugs for Christmas from my former step-father’s distant senile cousin I think.

Gad, what a hysterical question and answer on your part! The worst gift I’ve ever received was a dozen balloons from my dear friends on my birthday. They were mortified when it later dawned on them that I have a phobia of balloons and that it wasn’t the best choice. They received thank-yous anyway for their sentiment and for arranging it when I was far away from them at the time.

I got a pretend gun when I was 12. Then I got some earrings (my ears aren’t peirced).
Also got a top which was size 16…im a size 8.

A model helicopter from my boyfriend when we were 17. Next in line would be the iron. Ugh.

Preamble: I am not 4XL. Not even close.
The worst gift I ever received was a X-X-X-X-L piece of hot pink lingerie from my mother-in-law. I still grimace in horror just thinking about it.

When I was 17…...yes, seven – teen, my grandma very kindly knitted me a hot water bottle cover!?!?!?!? It was all purpley & stripey & everything. Bless, I didn’t have the heart to tell her I had other ways to keep warm in bed ;¬}

A ham. From a former boss who knew I was a vegetarian… every employee got a ham, so I know he wasn’t picking on me, just not too thoughtful.

A friend of mine and I exchange gag gifts for our birthdays and Christmas. I guess this doesn’t really count, but I got a set of butt plugs last Christmas. Most people would find that pretty awful, but I thought it was hilarious. :D

@Vunessuh so do I XD

@Vunessuh My friends and I do that too. Last christmas I received a blow up doll, a bra made of bacon, and an alarm clock that squeeled like a pig.

I got a book from my mother titled something like, “Why Don’t I Have any Friends?”.

Thankfully she didn’t get me any of the other books in the series, such as, “Why Am I Such a Loser?”. :-/

My first quarter in grad school, I had just started working in this lab and was terrified of not being taken seriously. Imagine a very straight-laced, uptight work environment.

On my birthday, I had been working on this experiment for like six hours straight, and was on one of the last steps, pipetting a carcinogenic fixing solution. It’s incredibly delicate and time-sensitive work.

In walks my birthday present: a singing telegram. Not just any singing telegram—a fat clown in drag playing an inflatable fake guitar. I finished pipetting, asked him to leave, and cried in the bathroom because I was so embarrassed.

At our last Christmas together my (now ex) wife gave me a large cardboard box containing a collection of cookery books, a packet of white socks and some free items ripped off from hotel toilets. There was also a packet of plastic clothes pegs attached to hangars.

@Vunessuh -That’s funny…I got that same gift…XD

A book about diseases from my grandmother for X-mas…when I was a teenager.

@lucillelucillelucille No way! XD

@Vunessuh To re-gift or not to re-gift?

@lucillelucillelucille I’m making earrings out of mine.

Wow. I can’t believe that a burned out, drunk old cynic like me is the only one who truly believes that, when it comes to gifts, it’s the thought that counts.

Granted, above is a list of poor judgement calls and undecipherable thought processes, but a gift is still a gift and that means somebody was at least thinking of you enough to make an effort, albeit a token one.

If any of you would like to get rid of your current or future shitty, dumb gifts, please, PM me.

to answer the question, i once received an evil monkey paw for my birthday and it ended very, very badly.

My stepdad’s mom gave me a Leggs plastic egg with hideous orangy suntan colored pantyhose inside one year for my birthday. I was 11 or 12 and wasn’t allowed to wear dresses so I don’t know why I needed to-the-waist yucky pantyhose. My mom and I acted excited, we thanked her and mom put them aside for someday. Bluuuuuuurch.

@Vunessuh For a second I thought you were going to end your sentence with “I thought it was handy”.

Well, I didn’t want to scare the kids, you see..

A bottle of wine from a co-worker who knew I didn’t drink. I ended up giving it to another co-worker who was an alcoholic.

Used underwear with a picture of a unicorn riding a unicycle holding an umbrella with a ukelele on its back going uphill with untied shoelaces wearing a umpires uniform and according to the person who gave it to me, the unicorn was an uncle.

WTH is a “butt plug?”

I can’t think of anything!

I am afraid…

I am afraid I shall go blind

AGAIN!!!!!

@Vunessuh Can I borrow a buttplug?

So when I was a teen, I always used to say ’‘I don’t give a rat’s ass’’. Even when speaking to my dad, in French, I’d say that, in English. So, on my birthday, as a joke, he gave me a small gift…a rubber rat’s ass. Just the bottom of a rat and its back legs and a tale. It had a hole so you could stick in on pencils and stuff.

It’s absolutely dumb and useless, but I loved it. :D

cufflinks. hmmmmmm…yyyeah.

@woodcutter (wink) ;)

@Vunessuh I’m WAY out my comfort zone even asking but…how many buttplugs constitute a set?

@woodcutter She gave me four antique butt plugs. Yes, it is very disturbing that they are “antiques” and were actually sold at an antique shop.

One @woodcutter?

@woodcutter Ok your question how many buttplugs constitute a set? is definitely the milk- spitting-out-of-my-nose award winning question of the day!

No I was just curious like, are they the same or do they graduate in size? Antique BP’s ? How long have they been in use to make them such? and what’s the difference between antique and classic BP’s. I suppose if Cleopatra had a set it would be an antique gold mine. That didn’t come out right :/

SHUT UP!!!! Argh! I’ve gone blind again!!! Or no…that was just frow up in my eyes. Next question.

A bible.

Anything my step-grandmother has ever given me. Its never appropriate (wrong sizes, weird shit, whatever) and tends to piss me off given the thought she puts into gifts for her “real” grandkids.

@klutzaroo I hate people like that.

a coffee mug when I was 15…from my sister who was around 45…..I didn’t even drink coffee!! :P