General Question

emeraldisles's avatar

Do you ever feel like you haven't been given a real chance in life and have been overlooked instead?

Asked by emeraldisles (1949points) May 13th, 2011

Case in point I just had a situation where I was not even considered for an opportunity which I really, really wanted. I had circumstances going on that was not my fault and I had to work around. As a result, I was completely overlooked and this opportunity went to the same people as it always does. I get sick of the same people again and again getting recognized where I am always overlooked. I’m not trying to sound bitter here but I worked incredibly hard. So when have you been overlooked or not even considered for an opportunity and have instead seen it go to someone else?

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19 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I don’t waste time feeling sorry for myself. If I don’t like something,I figure out a way to change it or accept it and let it go if I can’t.

EtherRoom's avatar

ALL THE TIME, sometimes. But at this point I’ve been trying to not give a damn about my “failures” or what other people think—- even what life thinks. Ya just keep moving foward, and living.

_zen_'s avatar

It’s ok to feel sorry for yourself once in a while. It’s natural. Pass the beer.

mazingerz88's avatar

Yes. But I make sure I understand the lessons that could be learned from that experience and try not to repeat the mistakes if any was made. If there were no mistakes made on my part and things still did not happen the way I wanted it it only means I did not pursue it enough to get it. However if there was deliberate injustice done to me I am quick to learn why and how I can rectify, without bitterness and with respect to myself and others.

It is not so much as assigning blame on any party guilty or not but understanding that things beyond yours and anyone else’s control might happen anytime. You mentioned “circumstances happened not of your doing and you worked around it” and this may have led to you being overlooked. Those things happening may have been your misfortune but it it may be that nobody planned it that way just to spite you. It just happened.

Dew58's avatar

Please take notice of these “failing” moments and then discern from that list what role you play in creating failure. Why not consider that you may not be “overlooked” because it is your calling in life.Is it possible that these failures are based upon your actions? Take ownership of your behavior and watch your life change, and maybe, you become the person you previously found annoying. Life unfolds for each of us;specifically, learn from mistakes, celebrate success, and strive to live a life of owned experiences,good or bad.

Blueroses's avatar

In any group situation, be it an office or social scene, there does seem to be a top echelon of people who get all the attention and opportunity. That used to make me really frustrated too. Then, instead of hating those people, I started to give thought to what makes them stand out in ways that I don’t. Is it a positive attitude? A willingness to give more than others? An ability to diffuse tense situations?
When I started to emulate successful people instead of merely envying them I found a lot more good things coming my way.

YoBob's avatar

FWIW, here is what I have observed in the corporate world when it comes to “opportunities”:

What you have actually done is much less important than the perception of what you have done by those who will be making the decisions on those opportunities in the future. Not only do you have to walk on water, you have to make sure that the right people know you are walking on water without your appearing to be bragging about it. (Bonus points if you can do this while at the same time not being perceived by your peers as grand standing or brown nosing)

aprilsimnel's avatar

What’s that line?

“I don’t like to toot my own horn, but, you know, ‘TOOT TOOT’!”

…is exactly what you must do. No one is otherwise paying attention. Seriously.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Yes, yes, yes. I think the secret is to not be so unassuming and so well-behaved, in order for people to notice you. You have to figure out what that means for each situation.

I have not quite figured this out yet, myself. Working on it, though.

gailcalled's avatar

It is also vital to match your skills, experience and realistic talents with the appropriate job description.

ratboy's avatar

I could have been a contender.

suzanna28's avatar

Not really.. but sometimes I wonder why from birth or very young some people are very clear on what their purpose is in life e.g say Michael Jackson

whereas most of us spend our entire lives trying to figure out what is the purpose of our lives and never find it out !!

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Have the others been there longer than you? Do they have bigger boobs?

_zen_'s avatar

@suzanna28 Was he? Or was his father.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

Feeling sorry for yourself really doesn’t get you too far in life. I used to dwell on that kind of stuff. But what’s the point? Nobody ever attended my pity parties and then I would just feel that much more sorry for myself. Instead, ask yourself how you can do better next time. How can you stand out more than the rest. Or if you feel you did your absolute best already and there was no room for improvement, move on and accept defeat. Come to terms with the fact that even though you might deserve something more than everyone else, it doesn’t always work out that way. It’s unfair but that’s life. Pick yourself up and start working hard towards your next goal.

Roby's avatar

I have always thought that attractive and intelligent people as a rule fare better in life. I sometimes reflect on this and take it with a grain of salt. God must have not wanted me to have much enjoyment in life or he would have created me good-looking and smart, in which I am neither. So as a result of this logic, I do the best of my ability and press on.

emeraldisles's avatar

Okay all good advice. I’m not feeling sorry for myself, I was upset about it for a while but am now like maybe it wasn’t meant to be and I again have to find something else to work towards.

gm_pansa1's avatar

This is a common thread in the fibers that I call my life.

emeraldisles's avatar

Isn’t that the truth.

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