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Cruiser's avatar

Are you ready for the Zombie Apocalypse?

Asked by Cruiser (40421points) May 19th, 2011

Apparently the CDC of all Government Agencies thinks you should be prepared for it. They have a Web Page that you can get all sorts of wigets, posters, how-to’s for becoming prepared to survive the next Zombie Apocalypse! Go to this Page to read about how are tax dollars are being spent to help you prepare for this potential disaster!

Is this nuts or what???

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36 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

Humans are doomed, and not because of zombies, but because of sheer stupidity. This has to be a joke.

zenvelo's avatar

I am ready!

The CDC did this to publicize their disaster preparedness. Putting their brains to work before they become lunch.

erichw1504's avatar

I don’t think it’s nuts at all. A zombie apocalypse, as funny as it sounds, could very well happen. I think if the CDC hadn’t created that, they’d be sorry when it did happen.

And no, I am not prepared.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

It wouldn’t last long, that is if it actually does happen.

mazingerz88's avatar

How are we to know that CDC workers themselves are not yet zombified? But no I’m not prepared yet. What I’m doing these days is read this very good book on zombies, World War Z which was suggested by a Fluther jelly in a post. It’s great reading. Scary.

This thing by the CDC is either the most radical gimmick of promoting disaster preparedness I’ve ever seen or they know something is afoot and we are being readied without panicking. Creeeepy! If Obama appears on TV seemingly looking very worried then something wicked this way comes. Bwahahaha!

GladysMensch's avatar

I have a wife and 2 kids. Unfortunately, I love them all. If the… who am I kidding with “if”... when the Zombie Apocalypse comes I’ll stay with them in a futile attempt to prolong their lives. My inability to leave them and solely look after my own interests will drastically decrease my chances of survival. Lousy families and their love getting me eaten by zombies

GoJessGo's avatar

Totally ready. I have a sawed of shotgun and my son’s theory that the rooftops are the place to be.

Jude's avatar

I have some brains stashed away for them. MUNCH MUNCH.

Maybe, they’ll be full and leave me alone.

Rarebear's avatar

It’s just the CDC trying to get people interested in emergency preparedness. If you drill down, the stuff they talk about is just regular emergency preparedness stuff. If it takes zombies for people to read that they should keep a supply of water, food and medicines, then I think that’s great.

TexasDude's avatar

>>Reads article.
>>Not a single mention of the best way to arm yourself against zombies.
>>CDC, I am dissapoint.

@GoJessGo, I’d be careful mentioning owning a sawed off shotgun online. Depending on the barrel length, they are regulated by the NFA and having one without a tax stamp and appropriate documentation can land you in Federal Pound-you-in-the-ass prison.

As for me, I’m armed to the teeth, I have basic first aid training and equipment, a Jeep, and extra food and survival gear. In the event of zombies, the party is at my house, except I won’t be there because I’ll have already gone inna woods.

ucme's avatar

Fuck yeah! No different to being in Glasgow on a Friday night…...sheesh, those hairy arsed drunken scotsmen are scary buggers ;¬}

YoBob's avatar

Isn’t the Zombie Apocalypse supposed to start on May 21, 2011 ?

That’s day after tomorrow!!!!

Note to self: break out the good scotch on Friday night….

YoBob's avatar

Actually, all sarcasm aside, I think the whole Zombie Apocalypse is a brilliant chunk of marketing by the CDC. Everybody needs an emergency kit and a plan ready to go, and most kits contain the same stuff regardless of the emergency. So… be prepared for whatever comes along, be it Zombies, terrorist attacks, natural disasters, or the rapture and subsequent destruction of earth.

Kudos CDC!

TexasDude's avatar

@YoBob, nope, May 21 is the Jesus Apocalypse, which, at least according to some interpretations, may or may not involve zombies.

Dammit, the 21st is Saturday, right? I have to help the tile guys out. Shit, that’s really going to screw up my schedule.

erichw1504's avatar

I had an extravagant weekend planned out, which involved feeding my fish and choosing new bed linen at Walmart. Now it’s all ruined!

YoBob's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I thought that a part of the rapture was that a bunch of dead folks were supposed to rise up from their graves to receive their eternal reward. I’m no expert, but dead folks rising from their graves sounds pretty much like Zombies to me… ;)

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Oh crap, this is the first I’ve heard of this. Jeez, I hope they don’t start picking people off early! I gotta go get my emergency kit and run down to the <dragged off by Zombies>

erichw1504's avatar

<shoots Zombies in the face> Aha! I saved you @WillWorkForChocolate! Come on I’ll bring you to <dragged off by zombies>.

lillycoyote's avatar

That is awesome; that the CDC is using the zombie apocalypse to educate people about disaster preparedness. Hilarious, a government agency with a sense of humor.

Begeara's avatar

My friends and I spent a few weeks devising a Z.A.P (Zombie apocalypse plan) mostly just for fun. Its a large file that contains plans and maps and the like… If the dead truly did ever walk the earth I think my buddies and I are pretty well prepared :P

incendiary_dan's avatar

Why yes, yes I am. Actually, my kit has increased since then.

I was just listening to the CDC page on NPR. Haven’t read it yet to see if it’s decent advice. I think it’s a good way to get people to do some minimum emergency preparations.

amujinx's avatar

@YoBob Yes, part of the rapture does entail zombies rising from their graves, but it occurs 5 months after the rapture, so wouldn’t happen till October 21st.

Axemusica's avatar

Funny, they didn’t mention anything about this.

rock4ever's avatar

All I have to say is people are stupid, just plain out stupid.

Rarebear's avatar

@rock4ever Why do you say people are stupid?

YoBob's avatar

@amujinx Great! That gives me an extra 5 months to enhance my kit!

I’ll throw a cross and bible in there for good measure…:)

rock4ever's avatar

@Rarebear zombies are made up. Zombie apocalypses are made up. The idea that there could be a zombie apocalypse is a made up scam to get peoples money. People are actually falling for it and that (sorry for being so blunt) is just plain stupidity.

TexasDude's avatar

The idea that there could be a zombie apocalypse is a made up scam to get peoples money.

Wait… so who exactly is actually profiting off of people who really think that a zombie apocalypse is possible?

rock4ever's avatar

Whoever is the ones making and selling those how to guides about zombies and anything else to “help us” in case of a zombie apocalypse.

TexasDude's avatar

@rock4ever, you know that almost all of those books have a label on or near the UPC code or in the library of congress info section in the first few pages that they should be shelved in the “humor/entertainment” section of libraries and bookstores, right?

I bet you my left testicle that these companies and the people who buy from them all have their tongue planted firmly in cheek.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@rock4ever LMFAO! Honey, the whole Zombie Apocalypse thing is a joke. The whole thing is to make people more aware of how to prepare for emergencies, while having a laugh. The CDC is not seriously saying that Zombies will be sucking your brains out in a few days.

rock4ever's avatar

Oh because the news station I watched was being all serious about it!!!!!!!!! Haha I feel a bit ridiculous right now. :D

dxs's avatar

So many apocalyptal stories. Apparently some insane old evangelist or whatever named Camping predicts that because saturday because it is 5★10★17★5★10★17 days from Jesus’s crucifixion, which we all know what day that was! Those numbers are “holy” and it’s coincidental it’s why we’re being judged that day. Big Deal! Get over yourself—that’s too vague and you’ve been wrong three other times already! It angers me

TexasDude's avatar

@rock4ever, don’t worry about it. Let this be a lesson about interpreting things you see on the news.

incendiary_dan's avatar

@rock4ever Also, there are numerous fungi, parasites, and viruses that could easily mutate into something quite zombie-like. Take toxoplasmosa gondii for example, or the fungi that take control of ants to make them bite things or hang out where they’d get eaten. Unlikely, though.

Really, the whole zombpocalypse thing is emergency and disaster preparedness taken to the extreme; it’s a sort of worst case scenario to prepare for so that real disasters are a breeze by comparison.

Rarebear's avatar

Right. It’s just a joke by the CDC to increase awareness of disaster preparedness. After all, how many “get prepared for an earthquake” articles can you read without getting bored?

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