Can you write down the last thing you heard or read?

“I hope you have a good time!” we’re watching a DVD

Sikh graduates US Army basic training.

“Baby…I can’t wait!” (Nu Shooz song in my head from the 80’s)

I just drove home, so I saw various signs lol. Although it was probably my apartment number on my door.

You mean this one, @Ladymia69 ?

“Not an ordinary computer simulated female.” on Star Trek TNG

“Heavy Metal Lover”

Welp.

If they’re amazing, they’ll get tickets straight to the next round. From: season premiere of So You Think You Can Dance?

Crack Baby Athletic Association

“Why the fuck did you just shoot me with a paintball gun?” – My brother

“Always pick the pink hippo. He has a knack for balls”.

Tosh.0 on Comedy Central.

Yes. “So why don’t we just not think about it for the next eleven minutes.”

My husband, on the fact that we haven’t made a dinner plan yet; postponing the inevitable moment of facing the question. Naturally I agreed. Thinking about it at 6 p.m. is probably nearly as good as thinking about it at 5:49 p.m.

It was the best of pies, it was the worst of pies.

Pass me a pen then, oh you mean type down ;¬}
“Do you want a coffee?” (asked by the wife.)

“This used to be a fun house, but now it’s full of evil clowns. It’s time to start the countdown. I’m gonna burn it down. ♥” -Hannah’s status.

“It really sucked yesterday.” (Overheard at work.)

“Bye, baby. Be sweet, be a treat.” – Mr. Fiance just left for work.

“I want to have your babies!!!” – Crazy chick at work.

“I am so happy to have been a part of your fresh start.” (From the TV)

… This question

It’s dried cranberries. But the box says “Figs”.

“Strike one.”

If this was what it was like to be the second favorite, I didn’t want to know what it would be like to be Fiona.

From “Some Girls”: My Life in a Harem

“When he took it out it exploded.”

”Well that’s [beep] crap, isn’t it Why don’t you open your eyes and get your head out of your ass?” (Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares)

“Does this look infected?”

“OH MY GOD! THEY GAVE YOU BALLS FOR LEGS!”

a @Blondesjon comment on a page of a question I’ve previously answered.

OK, I wrote it down… now what?

One thing that has stuck lately are these two quotes:

“The madness of love is the greatest of heaven’s blessings” – Plato
“Within you, I lose myself. Without you, I feel myself wanting to be lost again.” – Unknown

<NSFW redacted>

Sweeeeeeeeet emooooooootion. Blame Adirondackwannabe

Wasp in my eye!!

Do you prefer being a “top” or a “bottom”? Bottom? Then you like to be denominated.
me, explaining fractions to a fellow (adult) student

“Gustavo Adolfo: His mother says he’s a nice boy. I wonder if his seventeen victims thought that.”
I’m totally not googling serial killers…

I can’t repeat it. It’s something Fiddle Playing Dude just said.

Haha I know what you’re referring to.

Yes! And my eyes are burning, you brat! Gets the dish washing soap…

I just wrote down The Big Lebowski, Bottle Shock & Borat.

“He got some big-ass lips! Mick Jagger’s lips so big, black people be goin’ ,“He got some big-ass lips!”

Eddie Murphy from his first stand up show for HBO, Delirious.

I don’t want to discuss it.

@aprilsimnel LOL! He’s funny..except when he gets so potty mouthed….