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SuperMouse's avatar

Do you stew about things or bounce back quickly?

Asked by SuperMouse (30785points) May 28th, 2011

When something frustrating happens, or something doesn’t go your way, something breaks down, an argument, etc, do you tend to stew about it for a while or do you deal with it quickly and keep moving forward? If you do stew and lament for a while, do you find it helps you deal with whatever it is you are going through?

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22 Answers

tom_g's avatar

In the past, I would stew to the point of getting physically ill. Since I have started my meditation (Vipassana) practice, I no longer stew.

Cruiser's avatar

I do stew about things and then bounce back like a Super Ball!! Man I am bouncin today!! Gonna do some polish the boat therapy to get my mind and boat ready for a great day flying up the river to the sand bar on Memorial day and go floating to faghettabout all my worries.

AmWiser's avatar

I can’t remember why I was frustrated or stressed about something long enough to stew about it. Therefore I deal with upsets quickly and move on.

marinelife's avatar

I’m a bounce backer.

JilltheTooth's avatar

I stew a bit to figure out what happened and why, then once I’ve ordered it in my mind I bounce back.

stardust's avatar

If I’m in a healthy place, I bounce back quickly. If I’m not, I’m a stewer and oh my do I know how to stew:/

chyna's avatar

I’m a stewer. I think about all aspects of whatever is bothering me, what they said, what I said, what should’ve been said, then after a couple days, drop it. If I just dropped it immediately, I would be so much better off.

janbb's avatar

I’ve stewed at times and I’ve bounced back at other times; the bouncing back is better.

blueiiznh's avatar

I don’t waste energy stewing.
Holy crap what a waste of time and energy.
I speak my side and feelings.
Past that, I remove myself from the situation to take time to think and review it.
There is also nothing better that a good nights sleep and a new day to help put it behind you or in a new light.

SuperMouse's avatar

I move past stuff pretty quickly. So quickly sometimes that it annoys people. However, I aM not convinced that stewing is all bad. It seems that if one goes about it in the way @Jillthetooth or @chyna goes about it, it might be a good way to review the situation and learn from it.

JilltheTooth's avatar

The downside to that, @SuperMouse , is that if I can’t figure it out I loop on it obsessively til it consumes me. Fortunately, I’ve learned a few tricks to stop that, mostly they work.

gailcalled's avatar

I was born to stew and it’s taken years and several different modalities to stop. One of my biggest challenges was to acknowledge that my obsessions, broodiness, and anger was ego-centric and helped neither me nor the situation.

josie's avatar

The quick bounce back is usually the healthiest thing to do. Everything else is the mental equivalent of eating fried food.

tom_g's avatar

Related to this – I was reading Zen Shorts to my kids recently. It contains the story of the old monk and the young monk who are traveling in the countryside. The old monk carries a woman across a stream, and she pushes him out of the way without thanking him. After hours of hiking, the stewing young monk finally expresses his disgust and asks how she could have been so rude. The old monk tells him that he put the woman down miles ago – “why are you still carrying her?”
(ok, I butchered it.)
Anyway, I like that story. It has sparked many valuable discussions with me and the kids.

Mariah's avatar

@JilltheTooth I need those tricks!

I’m a stewer. It’s a problem.

TheIntern55's avatar

I’m a socializer, so rarely does anyone make me mad. If they do, I forgive them quickly and everything is okay.

gailcalled's avatar

@tom_g: Story is fine. Watch how the punctuation and emphasis make it clearer. The old man says to the younger monk, “Why are you still carrying her?”

janbb's avatar

@tom_g That story is new to me and I like it a lot!

ucme's avatar

Bouncebackability is my middle name!!
Actually that’s not strictly true, I have no middle name, but if I did…..

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’m a quick stew, about a few hours and then I’m onto something better out of the whole ordeal.

Blondesjon's avatar

I’m actually a limit kind of guy. I tend to let things go until a line is crossed in my mind and then it’s bounce back time.

or as i call it, “time to cut the shit”.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I’m a total stewer! I’m still bothered by relatively small issues from five years ago.

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