Social Question

Facade's avatar

Can sexiness be learned?

Asked by Facade (22889points) June 7th, 2011

Can it be learned or is it something inherent?
Better yet, what exactly is sexiness?

Inspired by this

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30 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Nice inspiration!

marinelife's avatar

It is mostly inherent. Take Kirstie Alley for example. Hers was apparent from Day 1 on Dancing with the Stars.

Luiveton's avatar

Sexiness is me.

WasCy's avatar

I think a talent for or awareness of it can be “developed”, and as your links show it can be “modeled”, but I don’t think it can be learned.

hermit's avatar

I think so. First, you have to feel sexy to look sexy. Being confident is the secret to bo sexy. Of course, you have to have the right attitude, the right body type to boost, clothes to wear and so on. But the real sensual or sexiness have to come from the inside.

Being sexy is absolutely a learned behaviour.

Luiveton's avatar

Pam Anderson definitely learned sexiness. Just saying.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I think @WasCy and @hermit both gave good answers.
That’s sexy as hell. ;)

rebbel's avatar

I think photographers who do models for glossies can teach you poses and tricks so you can act sexy.
But if you are sexy then is another thing.
One is sexy, or one isn’t, and what i think is a sexy person, can be someone else’s unsexy person.
A lot of girls seem to think that making duck lips is somehow sexy, but according to some anti duck lips sites, it is not at all.

Edit: …photographers who do models… are people who make pictures of models. Pervs.

Coloma's avatar

Sexiness is confidence, boldness, humor and a no nonsense ” I am REAL” attitude.

It really, ultimately, has little to do with age or body type.

Of course it DOES to the more shallow and un-evolved.

I have always thought one of the most bold expressions of sexiness comes from a big black woman singing some serious bad ass blues. :-)

Coloma's avatar


Yep, and this is from a little blonde white gal. lol

funkdaddy's avatar

Sexiness is playing to an audience, so as you learn what your audience likes, you can choose to emphasize those traits and be sexier. Some people find things sexy that we don’t have a lot of control over so those can’t be changed, but can be emphasized or minimized.

For example if my wife (my audience) thinks Vin Diesel is sexy. I can’t suddenly beef up, drop my voice three octaves and star in action flicks. Luckily she also thinks confidence, a genuine smile, and someone who makes her feel secure is sexy. Those I can handle.

So it can definitely be learned, but you can’t please everyone and you can’t be all things. Emphasize your strong points and people attracted to those will find you sexy.

ucme's avatar

You’ve either got it or you ain’t & baby…..I got it in spades XD
Said in my best Barry White voice (when he was alive, coz that would be just silly) ;¬}

AmWiser's avatar

Yes it (sexiness) can be learned. I know first hand.

erichw1504's avatar

I am the founder of sexiness and I will teach you the ways of sexiness, Daniel-san.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Depends on the kind of sexiness. Depends on who you’re trying to seduce. Yes, it can be learned. I’ve taught it.

Cruiser's avatar

Oh absolutely it can be learned and learned in a very sexy and provocative way! I knew many an ugly duck in grade/high school that were late bloomers as they say and nice clothes wasn’t just what did it for them….it was the new attention and positive reinforcement that they were able to realize they had what it takes and learned how to add attitude to the package and wound up getting tons of attention.

I have also noticed the sexy confident types almost always had pretty moms who appeared confident and hesitate to say…sexy! So they learned it from mom!!! ;)

Blackberry's avatar

Of course, look at the ugly duckling lol.

erichw1504's avatar

First you have to reach 22,000 lurve. After that it’s a piece of cake.

wundayatta's avatar

Sexiness comes from within, I believe. You don’t need sexy clothes or a hot body to be sexy, although they help. It’s an attitude that has to do with belief about your desirability. It is framed by eyes that penetrate every person and makes them think you are the one they want. Their movements suggest all the things they want to do with you, and let you know the sky is the limit. They say, “I want you.” They say it very clearly.

All these things can be learned with enough practice and the right tutelage. Sometimes, all that is necessary is to provide the student with the right inspiration. I’ve seen women whose inspiration by their man are out of this world. It’s a refreshing change from women whose sexiness is very understated.

JLeslie's avatar

I firmly believe it can be learned.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I think you can learn to act sexy, but the natural kind of sexy, from confidence and strength is nicer, IMO.

JLeslie's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe You can develop confidence in your sexiness. In my response I did not mean fake it, I meant people can become sexy.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@JLeslie That’s an interesting angle. That would be very sexy to me. When a person knows they’re sexy and just lets it show is nice.

answerjill's avatar

If sexiness can be learned, then when (or how) does one know that one has attained sexiness? :)

JLeslie's avatar

@answerjill Feeling sexy is half the battle in my opinion, because how we feel is usually conveyed to the outside world without us really even purposely doing it. Then I guess the other half is how people are reacting to you.

Earthgirl's avatar

I think sexiness has a lot to do with voice (tone, tempo, volume of voice and expression), eye contact (how long you hold a gaze and then look away, how direct is the gaze, little glances like looking out of the corner of your eyes, glancing up with chin lowered etc.) and body movements. There is the well known body language that everyone understands, Desmond Morris outlined it in his book “The Naked Ape” . Confidence, poise and grace are universally sexy. I suppose we all do learn what works for us, some of it consciously, some of it we just pick up on by example and internalize. It can be real or feigned. When it is feigned for seduction purposes with no real feeling behind it it is vastly inferior to the real thing IMHO. The real thing just happens naturally when we are attracted to someone as a human being not just as a piece of ass.

Crossroadsgrl's avatar

ANYthing can be learned. Absolutely sexiness CAN be learned, if you’re so determined. I didn’t read the other responses, but i’ve done this so I know it’s correct and it works

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