Social Question

john65pennington's avatar

Is remarrying your spouse, after many, many years of happy marriage, a waste of money?

Asked by john65pennington (29182points) June 19th, 2011

I really do not understand why a couple would want to remarry each other, after many happy years together. Question: what’s the point and why spend the money? Wasn’t one marriage good enough to last a lifetime?

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27 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

If that’s a waste of money, isn’t the first time around with (for some) tens of thousands of dollars spent just as much a waste of money? I’m thinking that if a couple wants to remarry after many years of marriage, that it is symbolic and a rarity.

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

I don’t think re-marrying your spouse is a waste of money if you choose “not” to spend too much, or if you can afford it. There are instances where a couple did not have a great or memorable wedding to begin with (let’s say they couldn’t afford a better wedding when they were young, or the circumstances were not favorable then for them to have a nice wedding), and now they are still very much in love and want something special, something they didn’t have when they first got married. Now’s the time to have another wedding, and further their bond and committment to each other. I think it’s great to celebrate again and solidify your loyalty.

chyna's avatar

I think it is whatever you get out of it. If it makes a couple happy to renew their vows, then they should do it.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Depends on who you’re marrying…;)

ucme's avatar

Once bitten twice sh…...only kidding ;¬}

JilltheTooth's avatar

Well, @john65pennington , it sounds like you think it would be a waste of your money, if you did it, but “waste” is a subjective determination. Was traveling to see my cousin’s widow a waste of my money when I had just seen her a few weeks before when I went to see my cousin before he passed? Not to me.
To each his/her own.

JLeslie's avatar

Remarrying after being divorced? Or, having another ceremony to renew your vows?

laureth's avatar

If you think of it as a theme party, does it seem like such a waste?

BarnacleBill's avatar

Weddings don’t have to be three ring circuses. Neither do vow renewal ceremonies. There’s something nice about saying publicly, “After 50 years, I would do it all again.”

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

There’s very little that someone out there doesn’t see as a “waste”. Tons probably saw your first wedding as a waste. Others see your tv as a waste, or those books you own as a waste, a flower garden as a waste… But there are ways to do it without it costing tons of money – my aunt and uncle renewed their vows at the Renaissance Festival’s romance themed day. It cost them $25 dollars.

Blackberry's avatar

Marriage is a waste itself, but if they feel they’re not going to make another mistake, goodluck.

BarnacleBill's avatar

@MyNewtBoobs, that’s very true. My neighbors find my dinner and cocktail parties, where I provide all the food and liquor for my guests to be silly and extravagant. When I go to dinner at some of their homes, I’m expected to bring my own meat for the grill, my own liquor, and a dish to share. To me, that’s not entertaining.

john65pennington's avatar

Blackberry, that hurt! But, I do understand your meaning. john

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@BarnacleBill Wow, to me, inviting someone over says that you’ll provide for their entertainment and needs (music/movie, food, drink, toilet with toilet paper, etc). If you can’t do that, just go out.

Sunny2's avatar

How one spends money is strictly a personal choice. What is important to one person may be foolish to someone else. (Obviously) I think it’s touching that they want to renew their vows. They want to say, “I love you,” all over again and have a party. Don’t go if you object.

Blackberry's avatar

@john65pennington Sorry John lol. I still believe in marriage, but maybe just not for me.

Cruiser's avatar

Renewing your vows can be almost as special as the first time you said I do. IMO if it generates those warm fuzzies all over it is worth every penny you spend.

Bellatrix's avatar

If it has meaning for the people renewing their vows, it is not a waste of their money and that’s really all that counts.

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t get what the problem is with spending the money if you have the money and you want to do it.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

John, look at it this way…there are probably many people who do not understand why you insist on purchasing bottled water for home consumption when they drink the same Nashville tap water or use some sort of filter system. As several have said, it is a personal choice.

JLeslie's avatar

He buys bottled water for home consumption? Is it distilled?

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

I would think that it could really be nice and helpful and healthy to actually say to someone after years of marriage that you would do it all over again; that you’re not just staying with them because divorce is too big of a hassle or marriage is the lesser of two evils or it’s too late for you to really start over. I get the impression that after being married for decades, many couples either don’t feel that they would do it over again or don’t communicate that they would, and the relationship suffers for it.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’m with @Cruiser: I wouldn’t mind paying at all in order to revisit the high of the “1st time” and to celebrate that with friends and family.

Of course I’m one of those weirdos who had a divorce party with my ex in order to celebrate the return to our friendship and to share that with our closest mutual friends and some family members..

Sunny2's avatar

@john65pennington It just occurred to me: you obviously think this kind of ceremony is a waste of money. Most of the jellies don’t see it as such nor do they think that it should matter to anyone but the couple. Is this a disagreement you and someone close to you have been having lately? Is it my of my business? Am I being too nosy? I apologize. It was just a thought.

Plucky's avatar

It’s not a waste of money if you think it’s worth it.

Hibernate's avatar

Making them remember their good times is always welcomed.

Though if a family is short on cash they should not try to make it an expensive one.

lonelydragon's avatar

A lot of people do this to “renew” the relationship. They want to reaffirm their commitment to each other, and many prefer to do it in a public venue with a recommitment ceremony. I would not do it, but if the couple feels that it is good for their relationship, then that is their perogative.

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