General Question

apple10's avatar

Best friends turn into something more, good idea?

Asked by apple10 (27points) April 27th, 2008 from iPhone

thereS this guy jake and we were say best friends in high school, started dating and it didnt really work out. now its about three years later we’ve been talking like we used to and I’m developing feelings towards him. Should I tell him? Should I leave it alone? Is it even a good idea?

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13 Answers

wildflower's avatar

It can go either way. If you are thinking of becoming more than friends, keep in mind that you tried before and it’s taken you this long to get your friendship back….are you prepared to risk loosing your friendship if it doesn’t work out?

gooch's avatar

Well my wife is my best friend. I think your partner should be your best friend. I could not think of being married to someone that was just as okay friend.

dayeshere's avatar

I have always heard that the best relationships come from being best friends first. Maybe the reason there was a 3 yr gap is because you both needed to mature and date other people. I always believe you save the best for last! Go for it!! You gotta keep us updated!

ninjaxmarc's avatar

better to try than not to.

You don’t want that lingering question of what if or regret for not trying.

Definitely your lover should be your bestfriend.

scamp's avatar

Sure give it a try! That’s the only way you will know. You said dating didn’t work out before tho. What happened? I hope it works out for you this time. Good luck!

lovelyy's avatar

that’s a tough call, if you are anything like I am I hate rejection but that is no reason to not give it a shot. give it a try and you never know it could come out good for you in the end.

apple10's avatar

update: I am sorry I didnt mention this before, he has a girlfriend. Ever since we’ve reconnected he tells me about how his relationship is close to the breaking point.

@scamp; our relationship didnt work out in the past is mainly because we were in high school; immature and stubborn.
sorry it won’t let me delete the lower sentence:)

the past because mainlhigh school.

Bri_L's avatar

If he is involved I don’t know if it is a good idea to tell him about your feelings. It doesn’t seem fair. If I were to put myself in the other womans place I would feel a little bad finding that out.

scamp's avatar

Bri_L is right. Now is not the best time for you to complicate his life any further. Wait until he is free before you say anything. He will need a little space to get over the girlfriend before he is fully ready to start something with you. Plus, if you really want a good relationship with him, you don’t want to be his “rebound” love interest.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

that little info about having a gf plays a big piece in your decision and opinions of others.

Don’t be a homewrecker just wait it out and be there for him until its over and after.

emilyrose's avatar

i would have him keep that info to himself if you think there is a future for you guys. your role if you two should date is not to console him through the break-up. also, i am very into the “he’s just not that into you” theory right now, so maybe see if he makes a move for you (after breaking up of course!)

Trance24's avatar

I would honestly not start up another relationship or bring it to their attention. You are happy now talking and being friends, and your friend will ALWAYS be there for you. A friend is there when the b/f or g/f is not. Wouldn’t you rather keep it that way?

skfinkel's avatar

I agree with those above who say not to interfere with another relationship. Be friends.

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