Social Question

athenasgriffin's avatar

Do you believe in true love?

Asked by athenasgriffin (5964points) June 19th, 2011

If so, why?

If not, do you believe in something else?

Does anyone believe they are (or have been) in true love?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

46 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

What other kind is there?

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Define “true love” for me. I’m uncomfortable committing to any position on an issue I’m unclear on.

josie's avatar

As opposed to false love?
Answer yes.

athenasgriffin's avatar

True love as in either love that was destined or fated to be with one person.
Or just that there is one person out there who is perfect for you.
(Not perfect, just perfect for you)

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

No. I don’t believe in destiny or fate, nor do I believe that people are basically jigsaw puzzle pieces. I believe some people go better with others, and some people go really, really well together – but I think even in those relationships, you still have to work really hard to make things work. You can’t believe in soul mates without some kind of believe in fate and destiny.

peridot's avatar

Once upon a time I could answer that clearly. The “true love” concept as you describe it has gotten a little more complex over time.

athenasgriffin's avatar

@peridot Why can’t you answer it clearly anymore?
@MyNewtBoobs I sometimes agree with your view, but then my romantic side kicks in and I get all misty eyed.

If you don’t believe in my definition of true love, do you believe in some other definition?

Cruiser's avatar

Yes…only I have found this “true love” image I/we desire takes on deeper meaning as we plow through preconceived perceptions shattered by prior disappointments. True love for me has taken on a whole new meaning in my later years. It is now above and beyond anything I could have ever imagined it to be. I am glad I was able to finally experience that.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Probably not – but maybe there’s a definition that I haven’t found yet. But I don’t see a difference between love and true love.

athenasgriffin's avatar

@Cruiser That’s amazing. I suppose I wasn’t really expecting anyone to have actually experienced true love. I hope to be so lucky one day.

peridot's avatar

@athenasgriffin I was once totally bought and sold on the romanticized, Disneyfied version of “true love”. You know that moment when Ariel first sees Eric and she goes all moony-eyed, and how loopy she was the next morning? That’s what I believed it was all about… that high, skin-tingly “woohoo” sensation. (That and getting to wear a poofy white dress, but now we’re getting really maudlin.)

Nowadays I believe there are many layers, variations, and contexts. I love my cat dearly… I’d jump through fire to save her. I love my BF… I hope we work out (and I do get to wear that aforementioned white dress). I love nature… it’s a great way to recharge and get in touch with Spirit. Do any of them elicit that drugged “woohoo” sensation? Well, yeah… kinda, in different ways. And nowadays, I am also fully aware of their shortcomings and the bits about them I’m not too crazy about.

Back when I was so into the idea of “true love”, those less-than-glowing aspects would never have crossed my mind. And when they eventually asserted themselves in a guy I was “in love with”, it broke my heart and left me completely bewildered… how could such a fabulous creature not be as in love with me/ be an asshole/ be gay/ etc. etc.?

On the flipside, when I do truly love nowadays, it’s deeper and stronger, but maybe not so purely intense.

Hope that helps.

Cruiser's avatar

@athenasgriffin This is my definition and can’t expect it to define anyone else’s true love. But I will say this each time I fell in love it has seemed to eclipse the ones before I thought were it.

athenasgriffin's avatar

@MyNewtBoobs To me, the difference between true love and regular love is that regular love ends when you are done with the mourning period for the relationship. For true love, you never really get over it. You may love someone else again, but you never stop loving the one you were in true love with.
@peridot I don’t expect true love to be the stuff of fairy tales. But I do hope to find something that is a little stronger than what I have experienced yet in my life.

wundayatta's avatar

There is more than one person you can find true love with in this world. True loves can devolve into tolerance. People can have their true love die and still find another one. True love is an attitude and a way of being more than it is magic.

athenasgriffin's avatar

@wundayatta I’ve heard that notion from a few people that I admire. And for a while I believed it myself. But currently I believe that there is one person who is special. One person who you love more than all the other people. I think you can deeply love many people, but that true love is once in a lifetime. If that.

wundayatta's avatar

@athenasgriffin If you are right, I hope you find that person.

athenasgriffin's avatar

@wundayatta Thank you. If I’m right, I will. I’m not settling for less.

Although I suppose I run the chance of being alone. Luckily for me that doesn’t bother me that much.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Yes, my wife and I have that. : ))

SuperMouse's avatar

I believe in true love because I am living it.

athenasgriffin's avatar

@CaptainHarley and @SuperMouse It makes me so happy that other people are living true love, you have no Idea.

All of you have made me feel so much better about my belief in true love. Thank you!

ddude1116's avatar

Yes, I do, but I believe it is fickle. Any sort of deep and obsessive infatuation is love, but it isn’t structured and so it ends. But that does not mean it isn’t true, just unstable and soon-to-end. Foolishness and naivete fuel this, and experience structures it. But a strong heart keeps it going.

CaptainHarley's avatar

I never believed in it before I met my wife. I was of the opinion that there were a fairly large number of people with whom one could be quite happy. This may indeed be true, but there seems to be one person with whom you can share so deeply that it sometimes becomes difficult to tell where you end and they begin. I never realized that such a depth of feeling and sheer intimacy were even possible! : ))

cookieman's avatar

As in “one true love”?

No. Which is ironic as I’m happily married to the same girl I met 24 years ago – when I was sixteen.

But no; I think there are many people in the world you could have fallen in love with and be equally as happy.

Geography plays a much bigger role than we give it credit for.

athenasgriffin's avatar

@cprevite I have heard something about how much more likely we are to have a relationship with someone who lives near us. Just the task of meeting someone is difficult if they live, say, in Australia.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@cprevite

That’s what I use to think too. I no longer think that.

Jude's avatar

Yes.

I am now.

ucme's avatar

Oh yes, it says so on my tiger pouch thong type thingie XD

CaptainHarley's avatar

@ucme

Now THERE’S an image I didn’t need! Heh!

Jude's avatar

@CaptainHarley You’re lucky that it wasn’t his elephant thong with trunk and all. :)

CaptainHarley's avatar

OMG! SHRIEK! RUN! RUN! LOL!

ucme's avatar

You horny little biker you!

ddude1116's avatar

@ddude1116 I just spent a week excursion with a large group of people, but the group I associated with I’ve completely fallen in love with despite knowing next to nothing about each other. It’s just love in the spontaneous and naive way you talked about. It’s just fantastic, too…

athenasgriffin's avatar

@ddude1116 That sounds awesome. I think that the, “I love you while knowing nothing about you” love is one of the most sincere.
—As long as it is not drug/drink/I want your body induced.

cookieman's avatar

@CaptainHarley: Am I to believe that my (admittedly wonderful) wife is my “one and only true love” and she just happened to live a mile away from me, attend the same high school, work at the same store, and share some of the same friends??

So, if I had moved to, say…London at age ten, before I met her, I would have been screwed in the “one true love” department?

Nah, I don’t buy it.

Mind you, I have a photograph of my wife and I at a fair, as children, years before we met. Wonderful coincidence? Absolutely. Fate? Maybe.

CaptainHarley's avatar

I don’t believe in fate.

One of the major indicators of future success in marriage is a comonality of backgrounds and interests, enough so that the couple understands each other well, with just enough differences to keep life interesting.

cookieman's avatar

@CaptainHarley: OK, I’m confused. So you don’t believe in fate, but you believe in a one true love?! I think I lost ya somewhere. Sorry.

ddude1116's avatar

@athenasgriffin The drug/drink/Iwantyourbody love is just lustful and gross..

CaptainHarley's avatar

I believe that there is one person to whom you can be closer than with anyone else, but I don’t believe that meeting them is dependent on fate.

cookieman's avatar

@CaptainHarley: OK, got it. Thanks for clarifying.

Aethelwine's avatar

I was a kid (20 yrs old) when I met my husband. I’m 40 now, and I’m more in love with him now than I was 20 years ago.

I can tell you I truly love the man. Is that true enough for you?

CaptainHarley's avatar

@jonsblond

I know exactly how you feel. : ))

seekingwolf's avatar

Nope, I don’t believe in it.

I love my boyfriend deeply and I’m in love with him, but I do think you can be very happy with a number of people. There isn’t “that one”. It’s a nice, fuzzy thought and I can see why so many people believe it…makes them feel good about their life. But that doesn’t make it true.

Just because I believe that doesn’t mean I am not committed to my boyfriend. I am committed 200% and him to me because we believe that we are right for each other and an awesome fit. Is there a better fit? Maybe. But frankly, I don’t care.

And yes, geography makes a huge difference.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@seekingwolf

I truly believed the same thing for many, many years… until I met my Vicky. When the love is so deep and so intense that when you even think about each other, it makes you dizzy, that’s far more than just the usual, run-of-the-mill “love” which many people experience. Neither one of us is ever going to win any beauty contests, but when I look at her, all I can see is joy and love. Never experienced anything even CLOSE to this before. : ))

seekingwolf's avatar

I feel the same way about my boyfriend. He and I met several years ago, through mutual friends, but it was just online. We talked online everyday for a year before meeting (just best friends) and then met (even though we lived in the same town) and became best friends. He saw me go through 2 long term relationships with men much older than myself (ie one man was in his 50s and he and I were together for over a year!) and supported me when I was down no matter what, and I saw him go through a very tumultuous relationship with someone who didn’t treat him well. Our relationship is based on over 7 years of being best friends, talk-on-the-phone-for-3-hours-everyday and now, a deeper love with good chemistry. I’m rather overweight from a hormone disorder and he’s a string bean from being a crack baby but we still love each other.

I never could believe any of the fuzzy “romance” stuff. Maybe I’m flawed, maybe I haven’t “experienced true love yet”, or maybe I’m just too much of a realist for my own good. I think it’s something people say to feel good. Not that it’s bad though…by all means, say it if you believe it and believe it! I just never will buy it no matter the case stories. My grandparents were madly in love for 70 years before my grandfather’s death and neither of them believed in it either, they both told me. Luckily, my boyfriend feels the same. Maybe the fact that we AREN’T romantic and into engagement rings, big weddings, red roses, cards, romantic dinners, and “true love” talk that makes us right for each other. Maybe he is the only one who can understand me the way he does and vice versa….maybe not. But it doesn’t matter to me.

athenasgriffin's avatar

@ddude1116 I certainly agree. However I have known people who have drunk themselves into a stupor, participated in a one-night stand, and then declared themselves madly and truly in love.

The only surprising thing about this is that I’ve actually seen it form into a relatively functional relationship. I suppose love comes in many forms.

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