Social Question

_zen_'s avatar

Religion aside, if it were legal, and even acceptable, would you be inclined to have multiple partners?

Asked by _zen_ (7854points) June 21st, 2011

Two wives, maybe three husbands. A harem?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

74 Answers

chyna's avatar

Heck no. One would be enough.

woodcutter's avatar

Not any more than I would want to play around with matches and a case of dynamite.

SABOTEUR's avatar

No.

(Too much work. Besides…who wants multiple women telling you how worthless you are?)

woodcutter's avatar

@SABOTEUR they would all say that to you?

Aethelwine's avatar

I do enough laundry as it is.

No.

Kardamom's avatar

And wipe up more pee off the floor and walls? No thanks!

Jeruba's avatar

Yes. I’d take two more husbands. And a wife.

_zen_'s avatar

Pick me, pick me.

jrpowell's avatar

I can barely deal with myself.

SABOTEUR's avatar

@woodcutter

Absolutely.
There’s power in numbers.

Cruiser's avatar

No…the right woman trumps a harem.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Son, ah got all ah kin do to take care of ONE! Heh!

_zen_'s avatar

@Cruiser You romantic you.

Wow – we have 10 jellies here at the same time – it’s a fluther-harem.

Coloma's avatar

Hell no! Way too much work! lol

wundayatta's avatar

I think I would. The happiest time in my life was in my twenties and I had three regular lovers (lived with two of them). They all knew each other and we all knew about our relationships (each had other relationships as well—this was pre-AIDS).

It’s different bringing up kids. There’s more commitment and more responsibility and I think that it could be harder to manage people’s feelings of jealousy. But it’s possible.

The main issue, I think, is time. So to have a harem, I think you’d need women who were pretty independent. I have no idea how it would work out or what all the problems would be, but I have always been interested in the problem. If the laws and social mores were to change, I’d certainly see if I could try it. Dunno if there would be any women I was in love with who would be interested. But I seriously doubt I’ll ever find out.

It’s definitely fun to think about.

JLeslie's avatar

No. I don’t think I could take the competition. In theory the idea of a sister wife is nice. Someone else to do the laundry or take turns taking care of the children, more parents, more love, another girlfriend to spend time with, etc. But, what if the other wife is much neater, or always looks pulled together, or gives better head. I mean, the best thing about being only with one SO is hopefully overtime it is you and him/her against the world, and it begins to feel like it would be impossible to picture life without them. If there is another one already there in the house, well, it just seems like a risk. Like I would always have to be on my toes.

Another husband for me? Men are too demanding of attention, so that seems almost impossible.

I guess a harem is a whole other level. I need to think about that. If I had all the freedom I wanted and the guy was super wealthy, which is something I associate with harems, maybe I would be willing.

AmWiser's avatar

Nah! One is enough.

_zen_'s avatar

@JLeslie—Just to dispel a myth here: there’s no such thing as giving “better” head. Its something guys say so that you’ll do it more – to “improve”. It actually takes as much time to learn and perfect as it does to peel a banana. And all head is like pizza: hot cold or a day later – it’s all good.

Jeruba's avatar

I’d have a spiffy, shiny, cultivated husband no. 2 to go to the opera and ballet and museums with me and dine out and do everything else that requires dressing up and sitting still and being on your good behavior. That way husband no. 1 would not have to be pestered to do things he really doesn’t enjoy, or feel guilty when he turns them down. He could just be his smart, funny, quirky self and never have to put on a necktie or go to a party. I’m no party girl myself, but once or twice a year would be nice (and husband no. 2 could have another wife if he wants a lot of that sort of thing).

I’d have a buff, energetic husband no. 3 for all kinds of handy-man projects and also other more, ahem, athletic activities, not omitting the occasional hike, sailboat ride, and other outing far away from anything electronic.

And as for the wife: well, of course, somebody has to be domestic. Actually I wouldn’t care if this one were male or female as long as he/she loved cooking, cleaning, shopping, gardening, and all those other delightful homemaking activities that just make me want to run away and read a book.

SABOTEUR's avatar

@zen What’s head?
(Joking…few and far between in this neck of the woods…)

_zen_'s avatar

@Jeruba You should give it some more thought first.

~

JLeslie's avatar

@zen Thanks for that little tidbit of information.

Jeruba's avatar

Something wrong with my reasoning?

perspicacious's avatar

No. I think it would never be in my nature to have more than one lover.

_zen_'s avatar

@Jeruba There, I tilded the thing for you.

JLeslie's avatar

@Jeruba All you need is money and a some close girlfriends. Unless sex with all of these people is very appealing to you? Or, is sex not even in the equation?

Jeruba's avatar

@JLeslie, I have absolutely no idea how the sex part would work, but I’m confident that we can figure it out.

wundayatta's avatar

@zen Just to dispel a myth here: there’s no such thing as giving “better” head.

Dude. I am struck dumb. Can’t even come up with something snarky to say about that. Are you sure you know what we’re talking about here? I mean, “head” does not mean doing math or something.

Kardamom's avatar

@Jeruba I have a very good gay male friend that escorts me to ice skating shows, the symphony and other stuff like that, that my SO would prefer not to attend. LOL.

woodcutter's avatar

@SABOTEUR Holy crap that would be brutal!

_zen_'s avatar

@Jeruba and @JLeslie—In my harem, it would be very simple; @JLeslie would watch us for a while and learn how to perfect the art of giving head, and then she would have Tuesdays and Thursdays to blow me.—

@wunday – you can blow me too.

JLeslie's avatar

I am pretty sure I think @wundayatta is right, it is my guess many men think there is good head and better head.

Meanwhile, I was thinking about @Jeruba‘s ideal situation, and it occurred to me that indeed it does not have to be 1 woman and 2+ men; or, 1 man and 2+ women; it can be 2 men and 2 women or any combination we want for the sake of the question. So, then the sex problem possibly gets easier with more multiple choice. This is if everyone is heterosexual. If some people are gay or bi that is a whole other thing altogether.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No. I barely have the energy for the one I’ve chosen and it seems like we never have the time we’d like to have to spend together. More than one would just be a distraction and balm for not being able to enjoy the one in the ways I’d like.

I’m very lucky in my choice because like me, he’s able to go grubby to spiffy with no problems- he likes it all and can even use a few tools too.

_zen_'s avatar

@JLeslie That’s what I said, pay attention: You, Jeruba, Wunday and me. 2 Men and 2 women. And I said: there is good head, and better head – but no bad head. So practise makes pefect: blow me.

JLeslie's avatar

@zen It’s almost 11:00pm my time I guess I am getting tired, slow on the pick up.

JLeslie's avatar

Actually, another woman here to give the blowjobs is sounding better by the minute. Lol.

_zen_'s avatar

LOL. Sorry dear, just teasing. It’s a lazy sunny 6 a.m. here. And you started with the blowjobs – always a fascinating subject. My favourite, next to boobs.

Coloma's avatar

Well, that would be a benefit of multiple females, if one’s not in the mood, sub it out. lol

SABOTEUR's avatar

Can’t continue this thread. These constant reminders of how lacking my sex life is is making me depressed. Thanks for nothing.

JLeslie's avatar

I would like to go with @Jeruba to the ballet (classical ballet please) and museums, and the symphony.

Why do we need the men again?

bob_'s avatar

@zen You’re my older brother, and I love you. But don’t ever take sides with anyone against the idea that there is better head again. Ever.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’d add a spouse not interested in sex and treat her very well if she’d be more of an in house servant so I could have lots more time to have sex with my partner but still have meals, clean clothes, clean house, tended pets, bills paid, etc.

FutureMemory's avatar

No.

I only have one brain, I can’t focus on more than one partner at a time.

I also only have one penis.

Jeruba's avatar

That’s what the wife is for, @Neizvestnaya.

JLeslie's avatar

@Neizvestnaya Again, I have said this to others all you need is money, not multiple wives.

JLeslie's avatar

Actually, other countries have that figured out. America has the wife, or even the couple, doing everything to exhaustion. Work, kids, cooking, cleaning, errands. We just all need a maid or a gentleman’s gentleman. Some sort of help.

aprilsimnel's avatar

No. No. One man’s enough.

Coloma's avatar

I’ve enjoyed a harem the last 10 years or so. Have my gardener buddy, my computer tech, my spa guy, my house call mechanic, my house call vet, um, OH…and my gardener doubles as grave digger, barn cleaning boy and all around handyman. lol
PLUS, he brings me some extra shrubbery to bake my happy brownies with. It’s ALL good!
Coloma’s a happy little wood sprite! haha;-)

bob_'s avatar

@Coloma Plus the hot tub?

wundayatta's avatar

@zen I don’t think you would want me to give you a blowjob. I think you would change your mind about head only coming in two varieties. As to why you would dramatically change your opinion… well, that I’ll leave to your imagination.

I trust you have health insurance, don’t you?

Coloma's avatar

@bob_

Right. And no male harem could ever compete with the turbo jets. Sorry, man vs. machine.
Machine wins, ‘hands down’. lol

tinyfaery's avatar

My wife and I always joke about how we need a husband to go out and make the money so we could stay at home all day together. George Clooney is still available, right?—

Photosopher's avatar

Erm nu… being single is too much fun.

GladysMensch's avatar

I’ve seen myself, and I live with myself. There’s no way I’m finding another woman who would want me.

Kardamom's avatar

Can I have Niles from the Nanny and just watch Fran and Maxell do their thing??? ; – P

Jellie's avatar

Oh yes. As long as my men/women know the arrangement and are okay with it. Love it.

ucme's avatar

No, for my dick is not a universal screwdriver. It’s very selective of where it plays, an exclusive little club.

nikipedia's avatar

My partner and I see other people sometimes, and it’s great!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@JLeslie: Thing is, I know exactly how much money it would take to have someone else keep the house as I’d like it and also do our grocery shopping too, my mind hums and whirs :)

@Jeruba: My hubby-to-be wants a wife to be the fun/play partner and that sounds pretty darn good to me! He also is well aware of what it will cost to bring someone in on a regular basis to keep our house running to where I can flit about in swimsuits (or naked). Heh, heh heh

OpryLeigh's avatar

Taking into consideration the way I feel about my current partner, no.

JLeslie's avatar

@Neizvestnaya Someone who lives in should not be crazy expensive.

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

If I wasn’t married yet, yes I would be inclined to spread my seed as wide and far as possible. That’s nature.

_zen_'s avatar

That’s nature?

If we all did that, then China wouldn’t be the only country drowning baby girls.

JLeslie's avatar

Gross. I hate when men try to argue for sex with a zilion women and value having children all over the place.

And, @MRSHINYSHOES do I have you confused with someone else, or aren’t you fairly religious and argue against gay marriage and lean towards seemingly Christian ideals? I know this question threw religion out the window, but do you change that much when religion is thrown out the window?

_zen_'s avatar

As long as the women are barefoot and in the kitchen, they can be impregnated and scattered all over the world.

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

@zen
@JLeslie

Omg, I make one comment about how great and privileged it is to be male, and you get nothing but penis envy.

Blah, blah, blah, attack, attack, attack, whine, whine, whine….the usual adhoc comments from the usual lefty few. lol

The only way to avoid this “yap trap” is to leave this thread altogether and not follow it any longer. So long folks. :)

JLeslie's avatar

Privileged? Actually right in sync with radical male dominated religious views. My mistake. There you go for some lefty views. I was fine with others wanting free love and multiple partners, because it all seemed in keeping with everyone benefitting somehow.

bob_'s avatar

Penis envy, LOL.

Response moderated (Personal Attack)
JLeslie's avatar

Uh oh, maybe I was too mean? Seriously, I came back to say I should not have become so annoyed on this lighthearted thread. Then I see @zen’s comment, which is really hitting below the belt, and I see my comments are nothing relative to his.

_zen_'s avatar

I love chinese food, but I digress.

augustlan's avatar

I could do it, but only if A) none of us were committed to each other (like dating multiple people simultaneously, which I did plenty of before marriage) or B) one main couple (say, myself and my husband) was committed to each other, and all others were like fringe benefits (and probably shared). I’m pretty sure I couldn’t stand being in a polygamous marriage, where we were all equally committed to each other. I just don’t think that would work for me.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
Trojans40's avatar

Not by marriage, but through committed relationship of a different kind…yes.

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