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chyna's avatar

My ex-husband's father died. Should I go to the funeral?

Asked by chyna (42182points) June 25th, 2011

I’ve been divorced for 13 years and my ex is remarried, but we had a good divorce, no fighting etc. I loved his dad as my own father, but it has been a long time since I’ve been in their life. Should I attend the funeral or just send a card?

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15 Answers

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Any acknowledgement will be appreciated. If you have the time to attend the funeral, then do so.

Our ex-SIL attended our sister’s memorial service, despite the divorce from our brother being ugly and the ill-feelings that were generated from it. It brought back a flood of love for who she was when she was our ‘sister’. Her gesture helped heal a long festering wound on all sides.

incendiary_dan's avatar

I say go to the wake or something.

Syger's avatar

If you’re on good terms and able to make it, I’d say you should go.
I’d say it also depends on whether or not you were invited. :P

Uberwench's avatar

If he meant that much to you, go. I’m sure his family will be touched you came. Very few people are unwelcome at funerals.

Judi's avatar

I would ask your ex if it would be ok. If his current wife is insecure it could be awkward.

lillycoyote's avatar

I would agree with @Judi. Ask him if it would be o.k., that would at least show him you care but if it might cause any discomfort to his current wife or anyone else in the family I would say no. It’s about them.

Neurotic_David's avatar

You loved him. Funerals are a way for the living to grieve as a group. You should go for you.

Aethelwine's avatar

I think you should go so you can say goodbye to someone you loved. You may regret it if you don’t go.

augustlan's avatar

If there are no hard feelings, I’d go.

I’m sorry for your loss. {hugs}

wundayatta's avatar

I’d go. You felt close to him and you miss him. It’ll help you mourn to be with others who loved him.

zenvelo's avatar

I would go since you had a peaceful divorce. It will be appreciated. And you can offer condolences to your exe’s wife too. It will diffuse tension.

Berserker's avatar

You loved him, then go, if that feels right for you.

Sunny2's avatar

Great answers. I think you should go. If things between you are not easy, sit in the back and sign the guest book.

JilltheTooth's avatar

I think you should go, you cared about him, it doesn’t have to be awkward. Your ex and his family knew that you cared about him. it should be fine.

chyna's avatar

Well my decision was made for me. The wake and the funeral are both tomorrow during work hours. I’ll send a card to my ex-MIL, whom I really cared for too. Thanks all for your answers.

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