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ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

For those of you who struggle/struggled with aging, what do you think triggered it for you?

Asked by ANef_is_Enuf (26789points) June 27th, 2011

Lately I notice that I am really struggling with getting older. I think it is because 30 is approaching, but I can’t really pinpoint what caused this little age related crisis for me. I thought this wasn’t supposed to happen for another 10 years or so, isn’t 40 the birthday that people struggle with the most?
For those of you that had a similar reaction, at what age did it kick in for you? Do you know what triggered it? Was it an event or just the number itself?

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24 Answers

Brian1946's avatar

According to my brother, his daughter had more trouble with turning 30 than she did turning 40. I think he told me why, but I don’t remember what he said.

I had a struggle with it for a week when I was 45. The trigger was a kid asking me if I had any grandchildren.

I’ve been occasionally struggling with it since I was 62, because of my arthritic right knee. I’ve been trying different therapies, and if I find one that’s successful for a good length of time, then that might postpone the struggle for a few a few more decades.

creative1's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf I went through the same thing my whole 29th year and it really got me down this whole turning 30 thing. I realized that I wasted so much time worrying about things I didn’t accomplish by the time I was 30 and worrying about getting older. It helped me so much so that I refused to and didn’t even feel it when I turned 40, I am now 42. So what I am saying is if you are able to make a conscience effort to say you can’t control everything and it will all happen with time and if it doesn’t then it wasn’t meant to happen.

athenasgriffin's avatar

My mother was angry about turning 30 well on into 32. I think for women, 30 can be more of a significant change than almost any other birthday. The difference between being a 29 year old and being a 30 year old is. . .staggering. A 29 year old still has time to let loose and have fun. The age 30 is when a person is supposed to be settling down, establishing themselves.

_zen_'s avatar

Approaching 30 is ageing?

Sorry, but I have to smile.

I do inderstand what you are saying – but if only you knew how very, very young you are… enjoy life to the fullest – be limber, stretch and dance the night away. When you are 40, 50 and 60 – we’ll talk again.

I don’t have to even mention that women only peak at 35??? Listen to the sunscreen song.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

35 seeing kids I know that when they got 35 I would be gone.

Bellatrix's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf I have to say, I hear what @zen is saying, ahh I can vaguely remember that moment. I think though it is those decades. The 30, 40, 50 birthdays. I think it’s a pretty normal thing to feel a bit .. wow… “I am turning xx” ish. It passes in a few days though.

I always used to tell myself I was a year older than I was and then when I arrived at that age, well it was no biggie!

@zen is demonstrating his wisdom again too. Sunscreen is your friend.

augustlan's avatar

My tough one was 30, too. I was pretty apprehensive about it for the whole year leading up to it, so no real trigger but the number. When it finally came, it was actually a relief! It was just about the first time in my life that I actually felt like I was the ‘right’ age for where I was in life. I’ve never been bothered by another birthday since, and I’m almost 44.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I’m turning 29 in a month. Apparently I get two years of apprehension. :\

augustlan's avatar

Silly Nef. <3

incendiary_dan's avatar

I’m pretty sure that once I hit 25 I started getting younger. I’ll let you know how that turns out.

janbb's avatar

60 is kind of a bitch. Just sayin’. But I am active and healthy and my mind and humor are pretty much still here so it’s ok….

marinelife's avatar

I had a mini age crisis when I was 29 at the thought of turning 30. It helped me to change my life to more of what I wanted it to be.

zenvelo's avatar

30 was a bit tough for me because of where I was in life. I had expected to be more settled by then.

40 was fine, my first child was due in a few weeks, and 50 my marriage was falling apart so my age was not a concern.

The really tough one was 55. There was no way to hide the fact that at 55 you are getting old. Theres no “55 is the new 45” stuff going on. It is just old.

Still bugs me

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Friggin baby. Try turning 50. But my inner child is still stuck at 12. :)

Stinley's avatar

I didn’t mind turning 30. I did go through bit of a crisis when I turned 40. Let’s just acknowledge that buying a motorbike was a mistake and leave it at that. 41 was a much harder birthday – still got all the “I’m old” crap and no-one making a fuss over you, like they do when it’s a ‘big’ birthday.

Judi's avatar

If it makes you feel any better, I feel better at 50 than I did at 30.

janbb's avatar

@Judi Yes, I would have to say I also feel more together and in many ways more physically and mentally healthy than I did at 30.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I was about 38/39 before it suddenly dawned on me that I was changing. I found myself questioning what I should be doing, how I should be presenting myself, what should I have accomplished by now. That sort of thing. The panic lasted about a year and then as quickly as it came, it left and I mellowed again. It’s still strange to think of myself as not 25 anymore, especially when I have so many of the friends I did then.

_zen_'s avatar

This has become the geriatric, alter kaker’s thread – just saying. We should all discuss our aches and pains now…

wundayatta's avatar

Fifty was the toughy. It was the first time I really noticed my body couldn’t do some things it used to be able to do. Some people tell me it was my mid life crisis, too—an event that may still be going on. Yeah. I definitely want to spread out my mid life as long as possible, as that means the other half of my life will be that much longer, lol.

I also had some mental episodes at 51 that made things very complicated, although Ihave never associated this with age. My eyes see differently. I had a hearing test today, and while my ears are normal, I am losing a bit in certain registers. My body is definitely stronger when I exercise hard, but I’m going to have to do that a lot more to make sure I don’t lose what I build.

So it’s all these little things. I ding the car more. I don’t see pedestrians in the dark as well. Lots and lots of little things. My memory for words is getting increasingly frustrating. More and more I need to make it up as I go along because I can’t remember it. Fortunately, with age comes greater mental capability, so I’m able to fake it and make it look like I know what I’m talking about when I really don’t. Please don’t tell anyone at fluther that. There are still a few people there who take me seriously. ;-)

Neizvestnaya's avatar

What’s scary is this. For a time you’re not young but you’re not elderly either, you’re more like a jello on the verge of meltdown. Just the other day my mother was laughing at my collection of bikinis and monokinis swimwear I’ve amassed for my upcoming Caribbean honeymoon, she said I was lucky I still had the body and youthful face enough to pull them off. How I really truely feel though? It’s like I know I’ve only got a small window of time to wear these things I’ve always liked before I become a ridiculous caricature of my former self, garnering more attention from shock than admiration.

This is the tense thing about aging, not knowing yet where you are in other people’s eyes. No one of us wants to be made fun of, you know. A friend of mine asked me a few years back, “Neizvestnaya, what will you do when you no longer pass for young? Are you prepared in any way to cross over gracefully into full womanhood, leaving girlishness behind?” There are days when this echoes in my head and I suddenly become self conscious.

plethora's avatar

I used to get depressed about two years before the big 0. Didnt last two years, just came and went. But I was conscious of getting closer and closer to it. Once I passed it, I was ok. Happened at 50 too. At 60, however, didnt bother me a bit. Part of that may be that I started in my early fifties a fitness regimen that has me, in my 60’s in the very best physical shape I have ever been in. That has been the best decision I have ever made.

Judi's avatar

@plethora, I started at 43.

Sunny2's avatar

The number is not important. I got a kick out of being as old as I was on my last birthday. The land marks for me feeling older (that I remember) were: being called “ma’am” the first time; in an audition, all of us were told to run across stage. I was the last one across and wondered how they were all faster than I was; not being able to take the stairs two at a time; finding I was out of breath after climbing two flights of stairs; realizing I was taking 3 or 4 pills for conditions and 5 more as supplements; having people help me when I have trouble climbing into a van. But I still have a sense of humor and am able to make people laugh. I’m still singing, better than ever. I’m still full of ideas and mental energy. I don’t feel or look as old as I am. I feel freer and more open than ever in my life and I love that.

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