Social Question

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Is it rude to bring a book to an adult dancing establishment?

Asked by Imadethisupwithnoforethought (14664points) June 28th, 2011

I have a friend who told me tonight he may have a crush on a particular dancer at the nearby establishment.

He asked me if I will come with him more often to the local adult entertainment establishment. He insists he can build rapport with this young lady after repeated exposure.

I enjoy those places for a few minutes, but the show gets very stale (and expensive) after awhile.

Would it be rude to bring a book or magazine? Perhaps a video game if I am afraid of boredom.

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50 Answers

Michael_Huntington's avatar

“Hey, my boobs are up here”

chyna's avatar

I have never been to such an establishment, but for no other reason than no one ever asked me to go. But if I were dancing in such a club, I would want the eyes and dollars on me.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

But seriously, I kinda think so. I’d rather pretend to expect a really important text.

JLeslie's avatar

This question made me LOL. I love it.

linguaphile's avatar

Laugh! A book might get you some really strange looks and I’m pretty sure people will nudge you and make comments about how can you be reading when you should be enjoying some T and A… you might not even be able to get into your book. However, what if you have something to read or watch on your phone or mobile device???

Aethelwine's avatar

Yeah, I think they would frown upon that. I went with my husband and a few of his friends once. My husband had quite a bit to drink and by the end of the evening his eyes started to close. Even though the rest of us were wide awake and having fun, the bouncers told my husband to wake up or he’d need to leave.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

I would think that the answer is ‘yes’. Why not suggest to the friend to find another person to go with him? And why can’t they go on their own? I’ve gone to movies and restaurants on my own, and nothing short of enjoying the experience happened.

JLeslie's avatar

Who cares if they think it impolite. Order a drink, and do what you want.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@JLeslie Seriously? What if you were an actor on a stage and glanced down into the audience, only to notice someone reading a book? How would you feel?

lillycoyote's avatar

I think it would be hilarious actually. Who brings a book to a strip club? But it might invite trouble. I’m not sure everyone would understand. Probably best to heed @Pied_Pfeffer‘s advice and ask your friend to find someone else to be his wingman as he romances his beloved exotic dancer.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Or a dancer with tassles on the nipples

Aethelwine's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer Or a comedian at a comedy club. The person with the book would be in the spotlight all night, and it wouldn’t be pretty. ;)

JLeslie's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer The OP is going with someone else to accompany them. I think it is a little rude, but from a business standpoint, they can have the business of the friend, or get nothing. If the OP is taking up space, and there is a line waiting out the door, than I find it wrong, unfair to business. But, if there is plenty of space, they sell a drink, I am ok with it. My husband just took me to dinner tonight. The place was empty except for us, he ordered nothing. Should they be happy for my business? Or, annoyed he ordered nothing?

If I went with my husband to a strip club, I would not be paying any of those girls for the show, or a lap dance, so it is almost the same as having my nose in a book. They dance for the money. Although, I do see your point that it can be troublesome for a performer to see people disinterested in the audience. Still, I am sure there will be plenty of men occupying their time.

JLeslie's avatar

However, the friend might be mortified or embarrased. Then we have to worry about being rude towards the friend.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Surprisingly, a thread about strippers adult dancers has made me flaccid. Good job, guys.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Michael_Huntington call a strip club and ask them if you can read a book there when you visit. seriously. See what they say.

JLeslie's avatar

Don’t men sometimes conduct business in strip clubs? I don’t think attention is always superfocused on the girls, depending on the establishment.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Michael_Huntington Oh, I’m just being chicken shit and asking the only guy on the thread to call. =)

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@Michael_Huntington I appreciate a male opinion on this thread, thank you. I suspect the ladies intimidate the other male users of Fluther.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Okay, so I called the place and it was not pretty
Me: Hey I was wondering if I can read at your strip club
Me: Uh, you know reading…like a reading a book
Guy: I know what the fuck reading is. And no, you can’t do that here
Me: Why not?
Guy: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHY NOT <starts to shout profanity through the phone>
All this is happening, my mother is listening to the convo in the other room, and she got scared, she said “You’re moving with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel-air!”
But seriously, he said “No” and then hanged up. What a meanie.

JLeslie's avatar

Intimidate? I love that.

JLeslie's avatar

@Michael_Huntington Hahahaha. You’re totally full of shit aren’t you? You didn’t really call.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

I plead the fifth.
One, two, three, four, fifth

dannyc's avatar

Bring an ipad with ebook features.And you can take photos too..I think.

Aethelwine's avatar

@dannyc Photos are not allowed to be taken at these clubs. That’s a no no.

lillycoyote's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought I told you: ” ... it might invite trouble. I’m not sure everyone would understand.” And that is only what you got over the phone. Think of the beat down you might have gotten in person.

dabbler's avatar

I bet the dancers have seen it all. Definitely not everyone pays attention in such a place. Bring a book, maybe a magazine to make it more casual.

Haleth's avatar

If you think it’s boring, expensive, and stale, you probably shouldn’t go. A friend who spends the whole night out reading isn’t great for moral support or as a wingman. You could always just show up and talk to your friend, or stay home.

bob_'s avatar

I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to turn over your men’s association card.

Mamradpivo's avatar

Eh, treat it as any other bar. I’d be more concerned about your friend being upset than the dancers. They’re there to work, and they’re not going to try as hard if you’re not paying attention. That’s fine: there’s probably plenty of other guys there.

But when you think of it just as a bar, there’s no real problem with taking a book: except you’re going to pay way too much for drinks.

Also, side note: your friend isn’t going to get anywhere with his dancer crush.

Jellie's avatar

It won’t be rude just very weird. Plus you might kill your friend’s chances with the girl.

Convince your friend to take someone else or take a third person along with you guys so you have company while your friend is laying down his moves.

Plucky's avatar

I’m not sure what the rules are at these clubs. Most people won’t be looking at you any ways.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Do you have a smart phone? I just discovered my iPhone has a book App. Fairly discreet. And, on another note, does your friend realize that dancers tend to think that guys who “want to establish a rapport” with them at work are just creepy?

Seelix's avatar

@JilltheTooth has a good point about your friend appearing creepy. Besides that, I’m willing to bet it’s not the woman he has a crush on – it’s her body and her onstage persona. Now, I know that there are some strippers who do the job because they truly enjoy it, but I would imagine that most women do it for the money and are very good actresses who are able to make the men in their audiences believe that they’re enjoying themselves. Who knows what this woman is really like?

JLeslie's avatar

I’m glad somebody brought up the point about having a crush on one of the girls. What does crush mean anyway in this circumstance? He wants to go flirt with her, and pay her for a lap dance? Or, he wants to ask her out? The first thing that comes to my mind is men are so dumb. She might be a very nice girl, I am not judging, but it is her job to make guys want to come in and see her.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@bob_ I am trying to stay in the club. I am taking my creepy friends to pay money for boobies I have already seen.

JLeslie's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought I am thinking find some new friends.

bob_'s avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought I understand. Hell, I’m not a fan of paying for that kind of stuff, but dude, what kind of wing-man are you? Taking a book to a strip club? Seriously?

* shakes head disapprovingly *

@JLeslie Or new boobs?

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@bob_ Understood. I will pretend like I think he has a shot.

JLeslie's avatar

Shot at what? Asking her out, or getting her to talk to him and dance?

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@JLeslie What guys hope to get from women dancing at an adult club is highly variable. I meant to be encouraging to my friends aspirations when he chooses to articulate them.

Aethelwine's avatar

Ok. I asked my husband and he reaffirmed what I said about the bouncers/establishment frowning upon this. You will be asked to put your book down or leave if you bring a book to a strip club. A strip club is not like any other bar. The girls are there to perform and earn money. If you aren’t paying attention (like my husband falling asleep in my example), you will be asked kindly at first to put the book down (or wake up), if you don’t, you will be asked to leave.

rebbel's avatar

Read your Playboy there, that’ll annoy the dancers.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

I would take it anyway. I take books everywhere I go. Everywhere. Just in case I am stuck in traffic, on the subway, in a long queue at the grocery store or at the petrol station. You could always take a Kindle and say you were checking emails. ;)

When they come up and ask for a lapdance, just start quoting Proust. Or show them the cartoons in the New Yorker. You never know how literacy can touch a human life. lol You may actually birth a new boobliophile!

@Michael_Huntington…You made me laugh out loud!!

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought… the way….he has a crush on a dancer? Does he really think this will move into the relationship stage?

I think he may do well to take a book with him…as he may be waiting a long loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time. Maybe you could take a copy of one of Dr Phil’s books for him….and after she ignores his advances….you can lean over and whisper: “So…how’s that working for you?

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@DarlingRhadamanthus I am interviewing for new male friends as we speak.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought….....I didn’t mean to be rude regarding your friend. But, I think that he needs to really find someone who is available.

You know what is unfolding in my mind? This scenario:

The bookish man takes his book to the club to keep his friend who wants to seduce the stripper…company. While Mr Clueless is busy checking out Miss Striptease, she gets a look at the guy with the book. Mr Clueless begins to breathe heavily as he sees her heading toward his table. But instead, she leans over to Mr Bookish and says: ” I see you are reading Pushkin. I always preferred Tolstoy or Turgenev to Pushkin.” Turns out she is moonlighting while working on her Phd in Russian literature. So, Bookish Man ends up with the date and Mr Clueless remains clueless.

LOL! just a thought

jess2525's avatar

I can see now why your problems are too goofy to identify hahaha.

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