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Jellie's avatar

Don't you think taking the high road can sometimes be perceived as cowardice or having been intimidated?

Asked by Jellie (6489points) June 29th, 2011

Say you have a conflict with someone and you no longer speak to them or wish to have anything to do with them. This person is instead talking bull to everyone else about you and indirectly taunting you, basically trying to establish some sort of dominance or superiority. If you decided to take the high road and act like an adult and completely ignore these attempts can’t that be seen as a sign of weekness or your inability to defend yourself?

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11 Answers

jrpowell's avatar

I avoid dealing with crap like that. I kinda pride myself on never having the last word.

My sister thrives on drama and when I lived with her I was confronted a lot about stupid shit. I would just says things like “sorry” and “I made a mistake” and walk away. This completely pissed her off since she wanted a fight.

I have had the same thing happen here in PM’s. Someone sends me a shitty PM. I ignore it and then I get another whining about how I am a coward for ignoring them. Honestly, I hate drama and would rather drink a PBR and play Plants vs Zombies.

anartist's avatar

In a ten million dollar lawsuit I took the “high road” [much to the consternation of my lawyer] and I know for a fact it was partly out of cowardice . . . upshot—I basically won my case, but didn’t win the jackpot. And, damn, I liked that jury and that judge.

Jellie's avatar

@anartist sounds like an interesting story. Is it possible for you to elaborate?

aprilsimnel's avatar

No. It means you aren’t looking to expend your energy on BS.

I’ve gone through this already, and I’ve seen it from a distance. The one who keeps going on and on about a conflict, trying to get others to side with their opinion is the one who ends up looking petty and ridiculous.

tom_g's avatar

@sarahhhhh: ”...can’t that be seen as a sign of weekness or your inability to defend yourself?”

What would “defend[ing] yourself” mean? Without the details it’s difficult to provide more than this….

Everything you do is perceived by everyone you come in contact with in different ways. You have no control over what they think about you and your actions. The only thing you do have control over is your actions and doing what you feel is right.

When I was younger and was exposed to some of this type of crap, I found that floating above it all was the most healthy for me. Some people roll around in shit, and ask others to roll around with them. I refused, and found that it smells much nicer up here. Let the shit-covered dullards think what they want.

marinelife's avatar

It could be, but you are doing what is right so that should feel good.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

It can,but you can always get them alone and tell them a thing or two. ;)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Sure, but what does it matter..

Jellie's avatar

I know it feels I’m back in highschool. Better to stay above it.

athenasgriffin's avatar

When you refuse to confront someone, it makes them even more angry. They feel you are condescending because you are not validating their need for a confrontation. So they take out their excess frustration by complaining to others. It only makes them look weak and jealous. Ignore it and everyone will know that you are the stronger person. It takes a lot of strength to not retaliate to personal attacks, and people know that.

anartist's avatar

@sarahhh no. what’s done is done.

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